Weasel Wordsmith

Capcom announced today that they are releasing Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3, a special edition of Marvel vs Capcom 3 with additional characters. Take a look at this roster, ’cause the game got a nice little boost of furry.

Capcom:
Firebrand
Strider Hiryu
Phoenix Wright
Vergil
Nemesis
Frank West

Marvel:
Hawkeye
Ghost Rider
Dr Strange
Iron Fist
Rocket Raccoon
Nova

On the Capcom side we’ve got Firebrand, buff shirtless demon of Ghosts and Goblin’s fame. You may recognize him from accidentally clicking on crossover slash art of him and Brooklyn from Gargoyles.

And even more bizarre is the choice of Rocket Raccoon on the Marvel side. Remember him? No, of course you don’t. But he’s here, and that’s kinda really fucking awesome.

The rest of the Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 roster is various levels of awesome/boring as well. Phoenix Wright is an incredible choice, but Ghost Rider, Nova, and Iron Fist? Meh.

Tweet This Post

Seemingly overnight my Twitter feed looked like it had been taken over by small girls. I knew something was up. Not only because I’m legally prohibited from befriending young girls on the Internet, but also because in between the squeals of delight over a cartoon about horses, there was still the normal, mundane tweets of a men in their 30s.

I know a lot of Bronies, and I don’t know how. But as any good journalist who has long since given up and just occasionally updates a blog, I decided to sleuth it out. I talked to Bronies who run podcasts, Bronies who draw art, Bronies with boyfriends, and even Bronies who have girlfriends. The whole time I compiled theories on what the cause of all this was. How do you explain the Bronies? I’m not sure you can. But I’m going to try, and as always I’ll do it as tactfully as I can.

There Goes the Neigh-borhood
It’s a little known fact and widely known conspiracy theory that we are being fed subliminal messages through our televisions. While some believe we’re being ordered to kill government officials, most think (and have shown in some cases), that we’re simply being told to buy more stuff. Why have one commercial when you can have two? So you have My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a show that on the surface is aimed at young girls. But underneath the giggles and the slapstick is a feed, designed to draw in an older demographic. After all, it’s beneficial to get parents into the show, so that they’ll buy more merchandise. Only something went wrong, and instead of triggering a response in parents, it mostly attracts single males in their 20s (and gay men in their 30s to 40s). It explains why nobody can pinpoint what they like about the show. It explains why those who just watch it on YouTube are less affected. It even explains why Hasbro has such shitty My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic merchandise. Who needs quality when you’re compelled to swarm a Toys R Us in a 20 person pack and buy everything you see?

Foals, Fillies, and Cults
There’s a large sense of conversion among Bronies, that some say borders on cultish behavior. Those people are stupid, but there is something there with the Bronies. It’s possibly that being a Brony is actually a form of cult, one that you have to join and rank up in to fully understand, much like Scientology. The reason so many Bronies can’t tell you why they love the show so much is because they’re not authorized to explain to non-believers the secret messages of My Little Pony. The Bronies aren’t trying to bring you into the fold (herd?) because “friendship is magic”, they’re trying to get you to watch because recruiting new Bronies is the only way for them to rank up and get closer to the Divine, whom I assume is the spirit incarnation of Rainbow Dash.

My Little Dalai Lama
The Internet has made our generation a bunch of assholes. We no longer have the ability to enjoy anything unless we’re tearing it down, and even then we don’t take any joy out if it. So perhaps Bronies, these Bohemians of the Internet, have finally figured out how to genuinely like something, without irony or sarcasm. How the hell did they manage that? Did they just, as a group, decide to like it. You know like how your mom used to always say “Choose to be happy” when you were crying at Disneyland? Only this time it worked and now they just unabashedly like something! If this is true, then Bronies are closer to enlightenment than any of the rest of us. Which kind of makes you want to hate them even more, right?

This Shit Don’t Make No Horse Sense, But That’s OK
Or maybe it’s just one of the many slightly odd but interesting things people do that make them, well, interesting. We like to poke fun at the Bronies, but are they any weirder than groups of men who like to swim in frigid waters? Or convention attendees that create elaborate steampunk cosplay? Or the middle aged women who follow Weird Al Yankovic on his concert tours (hi mom)? No. Granted, I make fun of all those people, too, but they’re cool in my book. And really so are the Bronies. The show is solid, and even if it’s not your thing there’s definitely an appeal in some quality SatAm cartoons. Just go for it, Bronies, who gives a shit why they do what they do? It’s not like they’re getting off on all this.

Wait, I just searched My Little Pony on FurAffinity. Rule 34 Vore. Really, guys?!

Tweet This Post

The finalists for the 2010 Ursa Major Awards, the “People’s Choice” of the fandom, have been announced, and voting has begun. Check the list of the nominees, as well as our Editor’s choice for each category.

Best Motion Picture
Alpha and Omega
How to Train Your Dragon
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
Toy Story 3
The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Editor’s Choice: You gotta go with How to Train Your Dragon on this one, right? Granted, Toy Story 3 is a far superior film, but it’s not a furry film. The other three films in the category are nowhere near as good, despite what certain dragons keep trying to tell me.

Best Dramatic Short Work or Series
Adventure Time With Finn and Jake
“Foxy Bingo”
Mongrels
“Orangina Naturally”
The Regular Show
Wallace & Gromit’s World of Invention

Editor’s Choice: Honestly as long as anything but Foxy Bingo and the Orangina campaign win, I’d be fine. Yes, I know what fox was a dancing machine, and yes, god yes, that gay cougar is hot, but there is no way in hell the fandom should give an award to commercials for gambling and sugar water when some of the smartest written shows on television are in the same category.

Best Novel
Basecraft Cirrostratus by Justin Lamar
Descent by Phil Guesz
Otters in Space by Mary Lowd
Save the Day by DJ Fahl
The Seventh Chakra by Kevin Frane
Shadow of the Father by Kyell Gold

Editor’s Choice: Wow, this is an exciting year for novels, and I can see it being a close race. That said, I’ve got to go with The Seventh Chakra. It’s definitely the most ambitious novel on the list, and Frane pulled off an exciting original thriller, and one of the most unique novels I’ve read from the fandom.

Best Short Fiction
Bridges by Kyell Gold
“False Dawn” by Kyell Gold
“Felis ex Machina” by EO Costello
“Gerty and the Doesn’t-Smell-Like-a-Melon” by Mary E Lowd
The Peculiar Quandary of Simon Canopus Artyle by Kevin Frane

Editor’s Choice: I’m leaning towards Bridges in this category. It was one of those experiments that did something new, even if it was a bit… superfluous. It’s hard to argue the literary merits of writing the same spit-roasting scene three times, but hey, there it is. That said, Simon Canopus also has a cool experimental writing feel to is, as the Cupcake branded books tend to have.

Best Other Literary Work
Furpiled #4 by Leo Magna
Different Worlds, Different Skins edited by Will A Sanborn
Iron Claw Bestiary by Chris Goodwin
i.s.o. #1 by Vince Suzukawa
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary by Dave Sedaris

Editor’s Choice: In any other situation I’d automatically say Dave Sedaris, but his latest book is actually one of his weakest, so go for one of the fandom made choices. Furpiled and i.s.o. both are cool for slice of life stuff, and the Iron Claw Bestiary is something that nerds tell me is pretty cool.

Best Graphic Story
Concession by Immelmann
Furthia High by QuetzaDrake
Cruelty by Rukis
Lackadaisy by Tracy J. Butler
Twokinds by Tim Fischbach

Editor’s Choice: Lackadaisy. No question. The others are good, but don;t really compare, except maybe Cruelty for it’s potential. Rukis has the art talent, and if she can tighten up her storytelling I can easily see her winning this award in the future, but not this year.

Best Comic Strip
“Broken Plot Device” by Lis Boriss
“Faux Pas” by Robert and Margaret Carspecken
“Little Tales” by Genesis Eve Whitmore
“Housepets!” by Rick Griffin
“Sandra and Woo” by Powree and Oliver Knörzer

Editor’s Choice: Everyone’s got a favorite, just pick one. They’re all good.

Best Magazine
Anthropomorphic Dreams Podcast by Will A. Sanborn
Heat #7 published by Sofawolf
New Fables Summer 2010 edited by Tim Susman
South Fur Lands edited by Bernard Doove
Tales of the Tai-Pan Universe edited by Gene Breshears

Editor’s Choice: I’m tempted to say go for Anthro Dreams because it might spur an entire Podcast category next year (God knows there are enough of them to warrant it). But there are so many great stories in New Fables that I can’t snub it. Go with that.

Best Published Illustration
Big Red: Lady Sings the Blues by Richard Bartrop
Cenotaph by Susan Rankin-Pollard
The Seventh Chakra by Kamui
Shadow of the Father by Sara Palmer
New Fables Summer 2010 by Mary Mouse

Editor’s Choice: All of these illustrations are fantastic and every one of them is deserving of the award. These are some of the best talent the fandom has to offer. Personally, Kamui’s The Seventh Chakra is one of the most eye catching covers I’ve seen. It also has an array of symbolism that tie it in with the book. Plus it’s bright fucking yellow.

Best Game
Disney Epic Mickey
Furry Basketball Association
Rocket Knight
Sam & Max: Season 3, Episode 1: The Penal Zone
Sonic Colors

Editor’s Choice: There’s only one game on here that is done by the fandom, for the fandom. I don’t care if you like basketball, or like roleplaying, the Furry Basketball Association is a beast that is fueled by talented and dedicated players. Add on to that, it’s fun to follow even if you’re not participating. That’s way cooler than an XBLA game about a franchise everyone forgot about.

Voting for the Ursa Majors ends April 17. Visit the official site to cast your vote.

Tweet This Post

The Shorty Awards, an annual award ceremony honoring standouts in social media, announced the finalists lists for their categories on Tuesday, and a furry beat out a ton of actual celebrities.

Award winning furry author Kyell Gold was among the six finalists in the author category, a list of authors spanning three continents, including JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series.

Gold beat out other famous authors such as Neil Gaiman, Meg Cabot, James Rollins, Nicholas Sparks, and Rick Riordan (as well as Hilary Duff, Justin Bieber, and the Jonas Brothers, who are authors now apparently).

“It’s incredibly flattering, and I really owe my fans for all the help they’ve provided to get me to this point,” Gold said. “It’s a testament to the popularity of the furry fandom that a furry author can get this much support.”

The Shorty Awards allows fans to vote for their favorite entrants via Twitter. A panel of judges, representing different aspects of social media, vote on the finalists, and pick a winner in each category who will be awarded at a ceremony in New York City on March 28.

The other finalists for the Shorty Awards can be seen here.

Tweet This Post

Sony released a new trailer for their Playstation Move mascot extravaganza, and it plays out like the beginning of a slash fic orgy between some of the most popular furries in gaming.

I’ve been cautious about this game because early demos had some major control issues, but I can’t help but get a bit excited seeing some of my favorite characters together.

Wait is that Dark Daxter? Oh, you motherfuckers.

Tweet This Post

After the popularity of the animal based designs in Sony’s new MMO, DC Universe Online, it’s not surprising to find that NCSoft is also letting gamers explore their furry side with the new City of Heroes Animal Pack available February 23.

The pack includes 60 mix-and-match costume pieces, covering Feline, Avian, Minotaur, and Wolf designs. Based on screens and art, the felines and avians include multiple species.

New emotes allow you to not only hiss, but sniff at other players. We don’t suppose “scritch” or “yiff” are included as actions.

There are other new features like additional auras and a Beast Run Travel Power.

And did we mention a Three Wolf Howl t-shirt featuring some buff and busty anthro wolves? Yeah, your furry superhero can pretend to wear shirts ironically while secretly loving them.

The City of Heroes Animal Pack will be available from the NCSoft Story for £5.99 or EUR 8.99.

Tweet This Post

Isolation Play
By Kyell Gold
Sofawolf Press

I want to review Isolation Play, and give it a full in-depth analysis because it’s an interesting novel that deserves to be broken down. But I can’t write a review without giving away major spoilers. I just can’t do it. Trying to review it that way dances around the issues and doesn’t do the book justice. So here’s the deal. Follow these simple steps, and together we’re going to give Isolation Play a great review.

1. Buy the book
Do it. It’s good. I swear to you it is. Read it as soon as you can.

2. Come back here and tell me what you think
Let’s start a discussion. I will respond to every single comment in this article.

That’s it! Easy, right? A lot of you preordered Isolation Play, so telling you it’s good and you should buy it is a moot point (I can say that you won’t be disappointed). But for those that haven’t bought it yet, go get it! Whether it’s at Further Confusion this weekend, on the Sofawolf Press site, or in ebook format (but not fucking pirating it!).

I’ll see you back here soon.

Tweet This Post

Update: He’s actually winning!

So yesterday, as a joke, I nominated prolific and well loved furry author Kyell Gold for a shorty award, the Internet’s most prestigious award show based around Twitter. Since then, fans have responded and continued to vote, and currently Mr. Gold is in 4th place. Right up there with the likes of Neil Gaiman.

This is, in my professional opinion, totally fucking sweet! Like, holy shit guys. You realize we could potentially win this thing if we put our minds to it?

So I’m telling you: put your damn minds to it!

GO VOTE FOR KYELL GOLD

This is not an endorsement of his abilities as an author (though he is very excellent), this is bigger than that. The furry fandom is a large part of the Internet, and definitely all up in the social media frontier. It’s about damn time someone recognized us.

Seriously. Go vote.

http://shortyawards.com/KyellGold

Tweet This Post

Bait and Switch
By Austen Crowder
Anthropomorphic Dreams Publishing

Anyone who’s ever been a teenager knows that those years are full of awkward changes, and not just in a “Peter on The Brady Bunch” way. You’re starting to become an adult, but you’re not there yet. Your relationship with your family starts to warp dramatically. You have a really tough time figuring out what you do and don’t want.

Some of us have even more drastic changes that we go through. In Bait and Switch, our protagonist Fenton Cobbler has to cope with the fact that he’s turning into a cartoon fox.

This isn’t your typical furry book set in a world populated by animal-human hybrids; instead, this is a world where humans live alongside actual cartoons (picture Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and you have exactly the right idea). The twist: the whole toon thing is a fairly recent development, and the toons themselves don’t just spring out of nowhere—regular people turn into them.

The whole toon thing is the story’s obvious LGBT parallel (and admittedly so). A few years back, Fenton’s best friend Benny turned into a cartoon rabbit, and while the rest of their crowd all turned their backs on him, he and Fenton are still good friends. There’s the worry, of course, that continuing to hang around with Benny will cause him to turn into a toon, as well, leading into the societal debate as to whether becoming a toon is something that’s an innate part of you, or just a choice that you make.

To further complicate things, Fenton’s father is spearheading the anti-toon movement. A whole lot of people are riled up by toons flaunting their antics in public (and, much like the real world anti-gay movement, most of the reasons they cite are unfounded B.S.), whereas other people find the whole toon thing charming and harmless. There’s even a subculture of people called “painters,” who paint themselves up to look like cartoons and hang with the toon crowd, resulting in something that’s equal part fursuiter and fag-hag.

The story itself is fairly straightforward coming-out material: Fenton in slowly becoming a fox, he’s in denial about how much he truly wants it, and he’s afraid of disappointing his anti-toon father. A small number of friends try to convince him to just give in and be himself, while the rest adopt an attitude of, “It’s cool if you are, but it still weirds me out.” Also, a close family friend runs a program that attempts to “Realize” toons back into humans, though the results are less than reassuring.

For the most part, the whole “toon” thing works pretty well from a narrative standpoint, though the analogy isn’t a perfect one, and the way it fits in with the setting isn’t completely flawless. Even as far as a third of the way into the book, the details on how Toon and Real interact are still subject to further explanation, and in the end, it’s still not completely clear if the toon world exists alongside the real world, or in its own pocket dimension, or possibly both. It is pretty fun, however, and it’s clear that the author has a lot of passion for “old-fashioned” cartooning, which isn’t something that you see much anymore.

Perhaps the most glaring thing is the way that toon antics are handled. The book makes it blatantly clear that toon-style “gags” are both their equivalent and substitute for sex. Sometimes it’s played off innocently, but even the characters still maintain that that’s what it is. This leads to the occasional disconnect, such as in one scene where two toons force each other to (harmlessly) swallow grenades in the living room in front of their human friend, and are then completely surprised by his shocked and disgusted reaction at their having effectively having had sex right in front of him, after it’s already been established that that’s basically what they just did. Also, the main point raised by the anti-toon brigade isn’t that they want to ban toons altogether, just that they don’t want them to be performing gags in public—I still can’t tell if that’s an unflattering portrayal of gay pride, or a brilliant bit of social satire about homophobic fears.

(Also, for some reason, whenever an example of a gag is brought up, nine times out of ten, it involves grenades, which makes me wonder if there are people with a grenade fetish out there.)

Still, in the end, the narrative is a solid one, and the logical inconsistencies that are bound to arise from such a fantastical premise don’t detract much from a pretty poignant story. In particular, the resolution of the main plot is quite satisfying in its non-cheesiness. Folks looking for a unique take on a coming-out story could do worse than to pick up Bait and Switch, especially anyone who might currently be dealing with sexuality or gender-identity issues in their own life.

Tweet This Post

A Dirge for Prester John: Volume 1 – Habitation of the Blessed
By Catherynne Valente
Night Shade Books

I have to admit that what hooked me on this book was the book video. I’d read Catherynne Valente’s Palimpsest and enjoyed it, but the myth of Prester John–which I’d never heard of–was really interesting, and Valente sells it well in her video. With Star Wars and comic book figures.

In brief: Prester John is the supposed ruler of a fantastic kingdom which includes the Fountain of Youth, fabulous creatures, and untold riches. A letter, purportedly from him, was sent to the Emperor Manuel I of the Holy Roman Empire. It circulated throughout Europe and fired up imaginations, sparked quests and adventures, and began many religious arguments–Prester John was supposed to be descended from one of the Three Magi, and was a Nestorian Christian (they believed that Christ was a mortal man and that the spirit of God was a separate part of him, to over-summarize it).

So: we have a mythical kingdom that has inspired men for centuries, a sort of Dark Ages version of Shangri-La or El Dorado. And how can an author possibly do this justice?

This is only book one of three, but so far, Valente does an admirable job. In her hands, Pentexore, the kingdom of Prester John, has an element of wonder that is rare in modern fantasy. We expect dragons and wizards; Valente gives us blemmyae and panoti. She takes the various myths of the Prester John stories and weaves them together into an enchanting world where there really is a fountain of youth, where strange creatures live peacefully side by side, where the demons Gog and Magog have been imprisoned, where the ground is so fertile that anything buried in it will sprout a tree: beds, dead bodies, and books.

It is to a tree of books that the narrator of this tale, Brother Hiob, is brought by a mysterious woman in yellow. From the tree, he takes three books, which turn out to be Prester John’s own story of how he came to Pentexore, the story of Hagia, the blemmye who becomes his wife, and the story of Imtithal, a nurse to three royal children whose tale has become famous throughout Pentexore. Through Prester John’s eyes, we see the mystery and wonder of Pentexore; through Hagia’s, we see Pentexore’s bemusement and attempt to integrate Prester John into their traditions; through Imtithal’s, we come to understand the history of the land and how its traditions came to be.

Having reached this land of wonder, Prester John attempts to integrate it into his Christian mythology, with varying degrees of success. His quest in this first book is to find the tomb of Thomas Didymus, who supposedly came to Pentexore and died there. That quest carries the story through the first book, but it is really impossible to convey in a short review the sense of beauty and wonder that infuses every page of this book. For a furry audience intent on furry characters, there is plenty to love: a gryphon named Fortunatus who gives wise advice and a red lion named Hadulph who loves Hagia are among the wondrous creatures we meet.

Valente herself is (according to various bios) pretty familiar with various types of fandom groups, though not specifically the furry fandom. But the culture of Pentexore reminds me in some ways of the culture of fandoms in general: diverse, open, accepting to a fault, and fairly unashamed about sex. Into this mix she throws Prester John, the symbol of the establishment, trying to fit the land and its people into the preconceptions he has rather than accepting them as they are. The blemmyae are people who have no heads; their eyes are in their chests, where nipples would be, their mouths in their navels. The women therefore must bare their breasts, of course, and this disconcerts John to the point that he views them as sinful and avoids talking to them. But of course, it is with these most strange of creatures that John eventually falls in love.

Habitation of the Blessed is volume one of a trilogy, and while it tells a fairly complete story, it also leaves the reader anxious to find out what happens next. The tension of the story does not suffer from knowing the eventual end, not one bit. It is a lovely, beautiful story that leaves the reader with a lot to think about, and I would recommend it to any lover of modern fantasy.

Tweet This Post

I don’t know if it’s the most brilliant viral marketing ever, or some animator that had too much free time and a sick sense of humor, but the “alternate ending” to Yogi Bear is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen.

Despite the fact that it claims to be a parody video, the production value on this looks too good for it not to be involved with the studio in some way.

It’s kind of sad that BooBoo shooting Yogi in the back of the head has guaranteed I’m going to see Yogi Bear when it hits theaters on December 17.

Tweet This Post

By coincidence, nearly my entire staff all saw Tangled on the same day. And they all argued over who would have the honor of writing a review for free. So I King Solomoned the situation, splitting the responsibility. And thus we have another mutli-authored review of a family film we were all too old to be seeing together.

Malin
The great Disney movies have memorable songs, interesting characters, engaging sidekicks, strong villains, crisp dialogue, and beautiful art, and by that standard, Tangled is a pretty great Disney movie.

Rikoshi
While not quite “Pixar Good,” Tangled is still a very charming and entertaining animated film, with some very fun characters and good performances, though the songs unfortunately fall a bit flat by Disney standards.

Jakebe
Great movie, if only because it makes you want to call your mother and thank her for not being a completely insane, manipulative asshole.

Tube
Despite the 3D format, this sweet and sincere story is the first Disney movie in well over a decade to really feel like one of the timeless classics I remember from my childhood: tight storytelling, a great villain, and songs that won’t leave my head days later.

Lovejoy
It’s got all the charm and humor you’d expect from a major Disney animated feature, plus it’s got a horse that acts like a dog, so hey, there’s that too.

Tweet This Post

Digital Ranch Interactive released a new trailer today for their upcoming multiplayer first-person shooter game. Or rather, make that multiplayer first-person be a dinosaur and eat WWII soldiers game.

Dino D-Day answers that much debated question, “What if Hitler went all Jurassic Park on this shit and we had to blow a dilophosaurus’ tiny brain out?”

Dino D-Day releases on the Steam service for PC on March 1, 2011.

Tweet This Post

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (2010)
Directed by David Yates
Written by Steve Kloves
Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint

Director David Yates has taken the Harry Potter franchise a long way from the Sorceror’s Stone. In the opening moments you get just a small taste of what’s ultimately the darkest two and a half hours yet — the Dursleys nervously moving out of their home at 4 Privet Drive because it’s “not safe,” Hermione erasing all traces of her existence with her muggle parents, and the torture and death of one of Hogwarts’ teachers. All this before the credits. What the hell is going on here? It doesn’t feel like all that long ago we were first looking at Diagon Alley.

Most of the old familiar places are nowhere to be found, however. Harry is whisked from Privet Drive to the Weasley Burrow, and the trip proves a lot more difficult than it should be for everyone involved. Death Eaters ruin everything. Another Death Eater attack disrupts a wedding there, and just like that Harry, Hermione and Ron are all but cut off from the wizarding world, their circle of reliable friends shrinking constantly as Voldemort solidifies his stranglehold on their society.

The story is exceptionally tense. The three young wizards are forced out into the world to find and destroy Voldemort’s remaining horcruxes, but they have no clue how to do that. In the book, the first half is bogged down with Harry and company wandering around, discovering clues and backstory by sheer luck most of the time.

Yates and writer Steve Kloves deserve credit for being able to take the first half of the story and inject it with all the fear, hopelessness and confusion that Rowling wanted while conjuring a narrative momentum that the novel lacked. Yates has proven to be an exceptional director for the latter half of the franchise because he’s able to get to the heart of Rowling’s intentions far more capably than she was able to do in the novel. Remember the Ministry of Magic throwdown in Order of the Phoenix? Yates was able to take the worst-written action sequence in all seven novels and make it one of the best scenes in all eight films. That, my friends, is talent not to be overlooked.

It helps that Radcliffe, Watson and Grint have turned into such capable actors. We’ve watched the cast and crew grow to meet the story’s demands, and by this point they’ve nailed everything they’ve been asked to do. Daniel needs to wear a bra so he can play Fleur Delacour pretending to be Harry Potter? Done. Need Radcliffe and Watson to kiss passionately for Ron’s jealous fever-dream, even though it’s (by all accounts) like making sweet love to your sister? No problem. There are a few other difficult sequences that Yates manages to pull off simply by giving enough of a damn about telling a good story, making sure the feel is exactly right. He gets his three young leads to jump right in with him, and the results are quite impressive.

Not quite everything lands, though. The movie is perhaps a little too long, and Ron’s jealousy of Harry and Hermione comes on a little too quickly even though you’re given all the pieces you need to explain it. And even though pains are taken to bring meaningful emotional beats on-screen, there’s still far too much that happens away from the camera. There’s a lot of death and tragedy that don’t have as much weight as they should. Even still, when tragedy is focused on, it’s really effective. I’m not ashamed to admit I teared up in a spot or two.

By the end of this first part, Harry and company have found their way at least. They know what the Deathly Hallows are and why Voldemort is looking for them, they’ve discovered how to destroy the horcruxes, and they’re slowly enabling themselves to put up a defense against Voldemort. The weakest part of the story has already been told. If the craftmanship behind it can make it this good, I can only imagine how kick-ass part two is going to be.

Tweet This Post

Universal Pictures just released the teaser trailer for their upcoming Easter family film, and it’s cuter than real furries could ever be at anything.

Check out the trailer, featuring a bunny rocking out to Blur.

We don’t know much about the movie, Hop other than that the rabbit, who is in fact the Easter Bunny, is voiced by Russel Brand. It also stars James Marsden as the live action lead. According to the trailer, Hop is being done by the Despicable Me creators.

Hop hits theaters April 1, 2011.

Tweet This Post

During a Midwest Fur Fest panel for SofaWolf Press, author Kyell Gold finally revealed the title to his Out of Position sequel.

The sequel, Isolation Play, releases January 14, 2011 during Further Confusion.

The story picks up immediately after the events of the first novel, following Dev and Lee as they try to balance their relationship and football career. Not to spoil the ending of the first book, but the first chapter includes crossdressing, a coffee shop, a swift fox reporter that smells like scotch, and one groan worthy pun.

Blotch returned to do the cover for Isolation Play. Lee is on the cover, though Dev is technically not. There is, however, a young tiger cub. What does it mean? We’ll get a copy of it to show as soon as we can.

The novel is just a couple months away from release. We’ll have a review up before Further Confusion.

Tweet This Post

Microsoft’s motion gaming device for the Xbox 360 is finally here. Included among the dozen or so launch titles are a handful of game starring talking animals. But before you go buy everything with fur, check out the breakdown on which games are actually fun.

Kinectimals
Microsoft
There’s no denying that these cats are cute. But honestly unless you’re under 10-years-old and are obsessed with wild cats (see: me in the early ’90s) then you’re not going to be into this somewhat clunky virtual pet game. Still, many people can probably get a solid day and a half of adorable good times here, which is enough for a rental.

Adrenalin Misfits
Konami
I know that wolf and dragon look kind of cool. Trust me, they aren’t. If listening to the dumb ape announce refer to you as “my baby” isn’t enough to get you to turn the game off, the slow, boring gameplay will finish the job. You’re not missing anything here.

Sonic Free Riders
SEGA
I’m not sure why so many people are into the Sonic style of talking animals, but yeah. If what you want in a video game is to stare at Tail’s butt as he leans forward to turn on his hoverboard, then this is the game for you. It’s actually a pretty fun little hoverboard kart racer, assuming you can get the controls to work properly, which take a good deal of patience.

Dance Central
Harmonix
I know, it’s not actually a furry game, but I’ve been to enough fursuit dances to know you people need some new moves. And this game actually teaches you some pretty cool (and some pretty lame) dance moves. If there is any reason to get Kinect, this is it.

Note that most of these games work pretty well even in fursuit. Yeah, I do my fucking research for you people.

Tweet This Post

Cartoon Network has a CGI movie that is sure to spark an idea in the hearts of young scalies-to-be. “You’re not my real dad. My real dad is a dragon!”

From the press release: “Directed by Peter Chung (Aeon Flux) and based on the comic book series by Phil Hester and Andy Kuhn, Firebreather delivers fierce action in the clash of two worlds where monsters roam the Earth and past secrets are exposed. At the center of it all, a teenage boy named Duncan struggles to find his place as half-Kaiju and half-human.”

It’s cool to see Cartoon Network taking smaller comic series and turning them into a movie that I can only assume is just a really long pilot for a potential TV series (see: Star Wars: The Clone Wars).

Also, there are like a ton of paws and stompy parts, so you macros are probably already setting your Tivo to record.

Firebreather premieres on Wednesday, November 24 at 7 p.m. (ET/PT)

Tweet This Post

Kinect, the motion controlled add-on for the Xbox 360, launches next week, and included in the lineup is the sickeningly adorable, Kinectimals. We’ll have full reviews of the numerous furry games that uses the peripheral, but for now, check out these amusingly questionable shots from the opening cinematic (these are in order, no trick editing).

Looks like the lion has some blackmail fodder. Serves cheetahs right for being such sluts.

Tweet This Post

Heathen City Vol. 3: Joker to the Thief
Written by: Alex Vance
Bad Dog Books

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that you liked Heathen City Volume 1: Always on the Run. It had action, it had suspense, it had a lot of gay sex. It even ends on a cliffhanger! So you wait a year for Volume 2: Paved with Bad Intentions, to find out what happened to all these characters you’re interested in, only to find out that the second issue is going to be all flashbacks and origin stories. Well, ok… I mean at least Malloy is in it a bit, even though the story takes a very different turn, going from a shallow, but action packed conspiracy thriller to an overly complicated supernatural tale.

So now it’s 2010, and Volume 3 is finally out, and you’re going to find out what destroyed that city. Or maybe what was up with those cowboy ghosts. Hell, at the very least we’ll find out what happens to the protagonists that have been missing from the entire second volume.

Oh wait, no. Nevermind. None of those things happen. And here are no less than 12 new characters for you to wonder about.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this story is not near as interesting as the author thinks it is. The real strength of these books are the characters, but they never quite get the treatment they deserve. There’s only so much ham-fisted dialogue I can stand before I begin to feel ill. For me, it was when the panther, who is Italian I guess, really hammers in that he is both a tough-as-nails cop, and bilingual, with a thank you that reads like a parody of every bad cop film: “Molto-fucking-bene.”

Author Alex Vance has a nasty habit of raising questions and never answering them. Vance has said in interviews that he’s teasing the story out on purpose, but this is absolutely the wrong way to do it because it looks like he’s confusing vagueness for subtlety. Every page reads like he made it up on the fly. Twists and betrayals and some crazy-ass shit are thrown in here, but I still don’t know what the motivation is for anyone, even after an entire volume that tried (and failed) to provide exposition for the major events of the story.

Malloy is really the one character I can do without. He’s one of the most egregious Mary Sue characters in literature. At one point in the story (spoiler alert, kids!), Malloy realizes he can’t carry all his friends out of a building about to explode. It’s totally set up for Malloy to lose someone he cares about, the first tragic death of one of the heroes. Then on the next page you find out he managed to save them all anyway, and even had time to write a mean note to one of the villains. Nevermind that one of said friends seemingly died from being riddled with bullets 10 seconds prior. Nope! He survived somehow.

This has been an unfortunate motif through the entire series. Vance sets up these “How will Malloy get out this time?” situations, then he just breezes through it, no sweat. It makes him boring to follow because he’s apparently invincible.

But what makes Joker to the Thief even worse is that Malloy doesn’t really get out of shit. He pulls out some grenades in Volume 1, ends up killing dozens of people (cause he’s a bad dog, get it?), get’s rescued by somebody, gets sold out, then gets captured by the very same people he tried to escape at the end of Always on the Run. Plotwise the story hasn’t progressed an inch, and none of these new characters got enough to development for me to figure out if they’re important or just throwaway side characters.

I haven’t even mentioned how off the rails the story gets with the main villain and his mom. Actually is Caufield even the main villain? Who the fuck knows! It’s clear that Vance just wanted to write a story about him, though, which makes sense because he’s the only character with any development. That alone automatically makes him the most interesting character in the series, and I actually found myself getting intrigued by him. The supernatural element gets spiked up to a serious degree, and it makes the story go a bit too crazy. Make that a lot too crazy. Honestly if I could have Vance answer any question about his story it would be, “How did Caufield’s ghost travel in time to kill his mother and take her through alternate realities, then merge with her soul then travel in time again and do it all over as a single hermaphroditic entity?”

I’d also throw in, “WTF dude? Seriously.”

If these books were coming out every couple months, this ridiculously drawn out plotline would just be annoying, but for an annual series, it’s unforgivable. Volume 2 was already really annoying in that it about faced, so this was Vance’s chance to get the series back on track. The fact is, the entire graphic novel can be summed up with “Malloy gets captured, but escapes again. Caufield dies, but then doesn’t”.

The book is illustrated by a team of 14 talented artists of differing scales and styles. Each of them illustrates a different part of the narrative thread, or sometimes a splash page. It’s jarring to keep turning the page and have the art style significantly change, and I felt like I wasn’t able to fully appreciate each artist because I kept having to switch around every time a scene changed. Still they all do a good job, and I wish it was easier to figure out who did which part because some of the art in here is very good.

At this point, my professional advice to readers is to abandon ship, unless things turn around drastically. My advice to the author is to take this story, sum it up in, oh, eight pages, and really work on tighter storytelling. Figure out who the protagonist is (Owen, Malloy, Italian Stereotype Cop? …Caufield?), and work on strengthening the core characters. Figure out the end game. Write one more volume, stop wasting our time, and just finish the god damn story.

Tweet This Post