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Review: 'The True Story of Puss’N Boots' is truly awful

Your rating: None Average: 2.8 (24 votes)

The True Story of Puss'N BootsI guess this is part two in what wasn’t ever intended to be an ongoing series; reviews of junk no furry in their right mind would need a review for, because they’re obviously junk.

But Mystery Science Theater 3000 is still my favorite TV show of all time, so this is what I do with my free time.

Last time, I discussed the unintentional horrors of Hyenas; today I will be reviewing the most obvious foreign rip-off of a Dreamworks Animation SKG film since Legend of a Rabbit.

Get ready for The True Story of Puss’N Boots, which, as the DVD box sadly points out, does not feature Antonio Banderas, but does present William Shatner in a role so bad, 'Priceline Negotiator' looks downright Shakespearean.

Story

Maybe calling this movie a rip-off is unfair. The story of Puss in Boots is public domain to begin with; besides, the original fairy tale was European, so the French have just as much right to it as anyone else. As a French proverb says, “At night all cats are grey — but in cartoons, they’re ginger.”

Though I obviously haven’t seen Dreamworks’ Puss in Boots yet, I’d bet even money The True Story of Puss’N Boots is actually the straighter adaptation. A miller’s son inherits his father’s cat, who has a thing for fancy footwear. After the miller’s son gives the cat a pair of boots made of “special leather,” the cat apparently gains magic powers, and decides to use them to help the boy win the love of the kingdom’s princess.

The writers of the script, not content to merely rip off Puss in Boots’ character design, decide now would be a good time to rip off Disney’s Aladdin while they’re at it, with William Shatner’s Puss replacing Robin William’s Genie, complete with a scene in which the princess mingles with the commoners in disguise. Heck, there’s even a monkey. Watch Aladdin and the trailer to Puss in Boots, and you’ve watched this movie’s pitch.

Characters

Okay, so the plot is a complete rip-off, but if you couldn’t tell that from the DVD cover, well, you might be my grandmother, who supplied me with a veritable army of off model Aladdins and Jungle Books in my younger days. The public domain rip-off, especially, has a proud and noble history.

But most of those Alice in Wonderland knockoffs didn’t feature William Shatner in the title role. Shatner’s career at this point consists entirely of lampooning himself, but this is pretty low. The filmmakers seem proud they got a true Hollywood star; the movie begins with a non-animated Shatner thanking the viewer for watching. Unfortunately, they were so star-struck they forgot to tell him to for the love of God, tone it down.

Shatner spends the entire movie speaking in a high pitched yowl; apparently trying to simulate a cat’s meow if the cat was also talking, and not doing well at it. The other characters aren’t nearly as annoying, though certain voice actors are very odd choices. The queen seems to be drunk the entire movie, and the aforementioned monkey is apparently a Rastafarian.

I will give the filmmakers this much credit, the character designs were decent. Though the title character’s design is obviously meant to fool my grandmother, other characters at least look interesting. They even resisted the urge to turn the original fairy tale’s ogre green.

Animation and dubbing

The animation isn’t good, but it isn’t terrible. A bit stiff compared to large-scale American animated movies, but this is obviously made on a much smaller budget.

The lip-synching isn’t always the best, as the movie was originally in French. The new dialogue mostly fits the old motions, and rarely goes to Godzilla parody levels, though Shatner’s squealing is the worst culprit.

Conclusion

It’s a bad movie, and you shouldn’t watch it unless you just feel you have good MST3K patter and want something a bit furrier to try it out on. Perhaps the only positive is that after you see this movie, you’ll feel a lot less guilty about liking Alpha and Omega.

The best thing about the DVD is a trailer for The Missing Lynx, which – in the height of irony – features producer Antonio Banderas interacting with that movie’s animated characters.

Comments

Your rating: None Average: 3.8 (8 votes)

Why do all fairy tales have to do with falling in love with some princess? I mean sheesh, can't they find someone better? I mean, princesses can't be all that great, you have to go to all those castles to find them and crap. And why is she always at the eighth one?

Your rating: None Average: 3 (6 votes)

How could I not have heard of this sooner? I saw the cat1 and nearly laughed out loud in the middle of a library.

1: Not to mention the name it was under...

Your rating: None Average: 2.5 (2 votes)

Here is a better link for the trailer for "The Missing Lynx": http://www.videoloud.com/videos/1913/the-missing-lynx-official-movie-trailer-hd

Fred Patten

Your rating: None Average: 4.7 (3 votes)

For some reason, it amuses me that in Japan, Puss in Boots is named literally, as 'The Cat who wore Long Shoes' (???????, 'Nagagutsu o haita Neko').

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

That's because the Japanese word for boots IS ?? (nagagutsu). Although they do use the English word butsu too.

crossaffliction is dead on with his review, by the way. I was stupid enough to duped into renting this at the redbox, thinking it was the Banderas version (I didn't know that just opened up a week ago). The cat truly is annoying. I'd add one thing: the script is a total yawner. Even my kids were looking bored. None of us even cracked a smile the whole movie.

As crossaffliction said, a few characters (other than the cat) and the animation are not all awful, but all in all Redbox can keep my buck and a quarter, but I would like those 4 hours of my life back (ok, it wasn't really 4 hours, but it seemed like it).

Your rating: None Average: 1 (1 vote)

Dude, that is EXACTLY what happened to me.
this movie SUCKS!!!!!

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

Ha, I find it funny that my kids watched this movie at their great grandmothers house. She was fooled.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (1 vote)

I don't know if anyone else noticed that this movie is a bit sadistic and creepy during some parts....if I was a kid and watching this I would be scared. The voice of Puss ad Boots is really annoying and much to airy. The queen sounds like she is an alcoholic and needs some sleep. I don't think I liked anything accept a bit of the story line.... it isn't worth watching.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

This movie is so funny its bad. There was a point in it where a random turtle had a mustache, a musache. Also the queens singing cracked me up especially in the beginning when she was waving her oversised butt and lalalaing.

The ostriches that were directing the queens carriage were also incredibly random but the voice of the protaginist puss and boots was aggirvating. He didn't seem to care about anything because his voice was lathargic. I also am highly suspicious of how sober the queen was.

Overall it was one of those movies you should watch if you have a strong urge to laugh or make fun of a horrible movie such as alpha and omega.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (1 vote)

My girlfriend put this on via Netflix because she seems to have a thing for obviously terrible stuff. I nearly had a stroke when I learned that this was indeed Captain Kirk as Puss. I guess I owe her another dinner and a movie. How, this is worse than watching Sean Connery running around in a red diaper.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

this movie actually tells the real story of PUss n boots but the animation is kind .of crappy. So is the characters. But it does have the voice of William shatner which is pretty cool. but Dreamworks version is better.

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

I loved it. I don't understand how it's a kids' movie, but hey, the French are weird. The cat seemed to be parodying Captain Jack Sparrow in character design and affect, which I found hilarious. The princess was excellent eye candy (kids' movie? with that ass?), the other characters were fun to watch (the queen stood out in particular), the songs were cute, the animation seemed good to me. It seems I'm somewhat in the minority, though.

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

I can't believe I loved it too. It was odd-- i've never seen anything like it. It was like a Jack Sparrow parody of sorts. The princess was great. I thought her sexy look and french singing were a great addition to the character, and short cute hair style. I've never seen that on a disney princess. There were a number of scenes that ended abruptly, several scenes that were very chopped up-- overly edited. But just when a scene went on for too long it switched. The animation was different -- I don't know much about animation but this was not american style. The colors were vibrant and artistic, not washed out. We will watch the french version tomorrow. I have a feeling it may be a bit different. William Shatner's voice was priceless. Super weird sounding but I liked it, it was like a yowl. I kept wondering if the drunk queen was Rosanne Barr's voice. The ogre that wants to be a swawn, and the monkey that plays piano to calm the ogre is funny. They did not follow the disney formula for kids movies. Thank goodness.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

I loved it too! I put it on for my two year old and found it so funny and cute. I liked that it was unusual and there was some things for the parents. Much less annoying than a lot of kids movies, and I love the princess and her singing! I love her look, there are enough long haired blondes singing to small animals. The princess' guards crack me up! I love the cat also, I think William Shatner did a great job... oh and the drunk queen! Lol... "he IS in the nude!" IDK maybe Im crazy, but I liked it. Never saw the dreamworks version, and I didnt really see the shrek movies, just the first one, in theatres, so maybe Im just unbiased. ;) My kid loves it too!

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

The queen does sound drunk, the cat is creepy, the princess's curves are much too exaggerated, and the movie is just plain annoying. The songs are funny though, and inwardly burst out laughing when I saw the chamberlain point to the ground and the hunchback crouched down at the beginning of the movie.

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

Worst sheet ever. Omg. Pc of sheet. Family movie? Its a crap.

Your rating: None

Well I liked it fine,even I did wonder who was on acid...I like strange and the princess and that cat!

Your rating: None

I enjoyed it as I did the other puss in boots film, both are remakes, the story has been around for many years, the plots are tweeked, many movies today are remakes with different touches made, I read one of the puus in boots stories prior to typing this, I've come to realize that stories before modern day time and technologies are really enjoyable on different level, the writing and literature uses our english in a way that has lost words so to speak.. try reading wizard of oz, you will see its much different than the movie both good but different. must stop I'm rambling and off on a tangent..

Your rating: None

Try reading a 19th century Horatio Alger novel for old-fashion word patterns like "in course" instead of "of course", now-forgotten 19th-century slang, and the original forms of words that are shortened today like "luncheon" for lunch and "omnibus" (because it was a public vehicle that everyone could ride, not a private vehicle) for bus.

Here's one for you: the U.S. government made the first nickel 5¢ coins in 1883. Before 1883, they were silver half-dimes. Today everyone calls a 5¢ coin a "nickel", although the U.S. government no longer uses nickel. What was the slang name for the half-dime before 1883?

And there used to be paper money under a dollar.

http://www.ebay.com/sch/sis.html?_nkw=10+CENT+FRACTIONAL+CURRENCY+1869+1875+LIBE...

Fred Patten

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About the author

crossaffliction (Brendan Kachel)read storiescontact (login required)

a reporter and Red Fox from Hooker, Oklahoma, interested in movies, horror, stand up comedy

Formerly Wichita's only furry comic.