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submitted by IradiumPyr
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submitted by evilsibe
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submitted by captainbozo
[link] [1 comment]

Last week I wrote about one of the great inequalities within furry, the gender imbalance. Furry, measured by self-reported gender or by biological sex, is around 80% male and 20% female.

I talked about how the community can be unwelcoming for women, and how the dearth of furry women has a negative effect on some heterosexual furry men. When it comes to furries available for heterosexual relationships, the guys outnumber the girls by around three to one. This is a problem for those heterosexual male furries who feel that their partner needs to be a furry too.

In my article, I assumed that a relationship is defined as something exclusively shared between two people. But it’s wrong to characterize furry relationships as an exercise in ‘coupling up’.

Many furry relationships are non-monogamous, non-exclusive and/or only involve more than two people. I don’t have any data to draw upon, but it’s possible that exclusive monogamous couples are in the minority. Furry relationships, in my experience, can cover a very wide range of potential arrangements.

Online relationships within furry are relatively common. We think of online relationships as routine, but the entire concept is a new one. The relatively recent advent of the internet has brought about these relationships: it allows the sort of intimate communication necessary for the formation of a close emotional bond.

The boundaries of online-only relationships are being explored within furry. Owing to the international nature of the furry community, we tend to congregate online. This has inevitably led to the concept of an “online partner”, where someone will consider themselves to be in a relationship – even virtually married – with someone they interact with online (and sometimes solely online).

This is an inevitable direction for society, outside furry, as the world moves online and becomes more virtual. We furries, with our virtual animal-person alter-egos, are testing the possibilities of online relationships. We live a kind of virtual ghost life where our furry character lives inside a collective imagination as a real-but-not-real apparition. We’re taking the virtualization of life to a new, but logical, level.

Virtual lives and virtual relationships will become more common outside furry as time goes on. Society will adapt to the changes, with furries at the vanguard, just as society is adapting to the radical changes in relationships over the past 60 years or so.

Since the 1950s and 1960, society has moved away from a patriarchal relationship model. Thanks mostly to advances brought about by the second wave of feminism, we live in a more equal society where a relationship is not based on the assumption that one gender is superior. This has benefitted women but also gay couples: a relationship of equals provides a great model for a monogamous gay relationship, because society no longer expects a couple to respectively occupy the roles of “man” and “woman”.

This is not to say that there are no opponents to these changes. In conservative parts of the world, there is a natural resistance to the way that relationships have changed – see this Queensland, Australia election ad (from 2012!) (link updated) – which assumes a gay relationship must involve gender roles.

That advert and the attitudes it embodies are fundamentally sexist and homophobic. Many people are anti-gay-marriage, however I don’t think they are necessarily bigots. In many cases, people are anti-gay-marriage because they see it as another step in the wrong direction: another step away from a 1950s-style marriage.

The change in relationships towards a gender-neutral model is a positive step, but there have inevitably been some negative outcomes. The clearest is a ballooning divorce rate. Divorce is always difficult, for the couple and any children, as many people reading this will know. The previous model, where a woman had limited power within a marriage, was more stable – much as slaves are more stable than employees.

There are always growing pains during times of rapid change. Society’s shift towards the virtual world – as explored by furries – is also fraught. Many furries reading this will have learned that non-traditional relationships, whatever their flavour, are difficult to maintain over a long period of time.

There are a few reasons for this:

• There are limited role-models for unusual relationships, which means that the participants must learn by making mistakes, with limited experience and wisdom to draw upon.
• Unusual relationships don’t mesh well with society, which can cause friction with the outside world, perhaps when dealing with family or workmates.
• There may be a lack of legal recognition.
• If more than two people are involved, jealousy issues can become more significant.
• Communication, which is the cornerstone of any relationship, may become more difficult.

Because of these problems, and others, unusual relationship structures will fail more regularly. Relationships that most closely match the norms of society are more likely to be successful.

Regardless of your own preferences, aspiring to be in a healthy relationship is a good thing. But that doesn’t mean you need to be in a rush.

The average age of marriage for men is close to 30 in the US. For furries looking to enter a long-term commitment, whatever that might be, age is less important.

In the furry world, it’s easy to meet new people. This doesn’t always happen in the non-furry world – people often find their social circles shrink in their 20s and 30s. This is the opposite of the furry experience.

Single furries may also find it easier, compared to non-furries, to find rewarding intimacy and sexual contact within the context of a friendship. I think that the intimacy of many furry friendships puts us in a good position to learn about ourselves, and what we desire from a partner. Most good relationships can only work when all parties are fully-formed adults. People who get married young often find themselves yearning to explore life when they get older. This phenomenon is common enough to be almost stereotypical – a midlife crisis or a seven-year itch.

Anyone in a relationship or seeking a relationship – which covers almost all of us – is most likely to be successful if they are introspective and autonomous. Fortunately we are furries, which is all about exploration of identity.

I’d love to hear some stories – good and bad – from readers who have explored unusual relationship structures.

submitted by ruot_pedalam
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submitted by evilsibe
[link] [20 comments]

submitted by Killick6
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submitted by Killick6
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I am NOT saying I hate gay furs. They are all good, I'm just saying that I feel rather alone. (EDIT) Anyone wants to RP (I'm up for ANYTHING) Add my Steam. It's Thirsty_Pickle. (EDIT) On another note, I'm also the only furry in my group of close friends and my school.

submitted by Thirsty_Pickle
[link] [41 comments]

submitted by HappyWulf
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submitted by 123not-it
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Looking for some non porn iPad wallpapers. Anybody have any?

submitted by YoshiDan
[link] [6 comments]

So, lately I’ve been having issues with an artist that was commissioned way-back-when.. as in, since January 11th, 2011. What I commissioned was a 15-page comic that was initially only going to be inked, for just a hair over $1,000.

After accepting countless delays (in the name of charity, as this commission was won through a charity auction for eye-surgery) such as suicidal depression and a lack of motivation, it’s finally finished. I’m pretty excited to work with the artist to post it on our respective profiles and get ALL the views!

Well, as it turns out, no. The artist came up to me today and told me. “Hey, Vandell, the comic is totally done and I’m ready to send it out.. however, I need to ask you a favour. Do you mind not posting it until the end of July?” See, what they did was submit the comic to an for-pay art anthology set because their friend got sick and couldn’t finish their half.

That, I don’t mind. But after waiting a year and a half for the comic, I wasn’t willing to wait any longer. I put my foot down and said no, I’d rather not wait. The ensuing conversation was maddening to behold, especially since I had to be at work inside of ten minutes.

So, he pulls out “the gift card”. Lets put this into context, first: throughout the year and a half of waiting, many things happened. One, the guy grew severely depressed and made an attempt on his life by swallowing a bottle of pills. It failed, thankfully, and soon afterwards he presented to me the idea of paying to have the comic fully coloured. Being the gullible nice guy I am, I consented and he agreed to another $350ish dollars for it - that was all I could afford at the time, and he was in desperate need of the money.

Two, he and his co-partner drew me a couple of pictures for free, without my prior knowledge, because the artist was feeling fairly guilty about the whole thing (I guess) - ergo, one can conclude this was a gift. When received, I was delighted by the unexpected gestures and thanked them. And three, he decided to increase the quality of the comic from flat colours to shaded colours without my input, thereby making this another gift, which was awesome. Throughout the entire 1.5 years, I did my damnedest to not be rude or press the guy for progress, and I didn’t. Literally once a month (tops) I’d ask how things are going.

Okay, so.. “the gift card”, as I mentioned, is that the artist essentially told me I was being a petulant bitch to not allow this since they had given me so many gifts. I reposed by saying I wasn’t aware I was being held accountable by said gifts (since I never asked for them or requested them), and he flipped his shit at me and has cut off all contact. To his credit, he did finally give me the comics.

He then went on to create a policy rule regarding commissions called “The Vandell Policy”, a very negatively-worded thing about refunds (which I didn’t request, at all) and gift-giving.

TLDR; Artist finished my commissioned comic and posted it to a pay-for anthology without my prior knowledge. I didn't care, but I did care that he wanted to delay me posting it to my profile for another two months after waiting 1.5 years.

For those that know who I am, it shouldn’t be too hard to sleuth out what and who all this is about, but I’m not going to give any hints otherwise. All I want to ask is: Am I in the wrong for not allowing it? If not, should I make a more in-depth Artist_Beware post on LiveJournal? Any other advice would be appreciated.

Sorry for the drama-bomb. I’m pretty miffed.

submitted by getintheVandell
[link] [3 comments]

Author: Bunnyman made me promise that there would be dozens of web links referencing all the stuff that we talked about in this podcast as well as links to the mysterious "lost podcasts" between here and the last few months. Here are the notes that The BunnyMan took for this episode:- std podacst- last week- [...] Live From the Hop Inn 414

Well this some murry-purry news all over your muzzle. Looks like Tokifuji has some great folio pics he wants to share in his second book titled “Leatherette” (maybe a take from the Heatherette brand?) . Tokifuji does some amazing drawings which have some muscled slender furries in them (of course my fav. is the horse stuffz). For only $10 you can get a lot of stuff in this thing, so head over HERE for pre-order and check it!

Hey guys, yesterday I decided I would check out the furry fandom, after being curious about it for a while. I've been a brony for about 8 months, and I decided that furries seemed interesting, so here I am. Hello, everybody. ^^

I joined the IRC, and everybody in there is awesome! I'm really glad to have given it a try. :3

submitted by Fiftyniner
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submitted by mattyb663
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submitted by AngelicDirt
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Author: Fred

Author: Vox Don’t do it…. http://www.unfurled.net/episodes/UnFurled_-_Episode_45.mp3 Find the full article here: UnFurled » Podcast UnFurled: Episode 45 – Unzipped: In Your Mouth