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That Spaceship Looks Like A Banana!
Here’s another one that somehow flew over the moon yet under our radar for some time. Rocket Monkeys was a 2D animated series from Canada (they get SO many interesting shows up there!) created by Dan Abdo and Jason Patterson. According to Wikipedia, “Brothers Gus and Wally are monkey astronauts. They’re not the brightest or coolest astronauts, but since they’re the only ones around, they are called upon to go into space and carry out different kinds of important missions—including battling rogue black holes and vengeful aliens. Other members of the brothers’ crew include bossy astrophysicist Dr. Chimpsky, who gives the monkeys their assignments; YAY-OK, a devoted robot that is slightly outdated and is the brothers’ only hope to help keep them on course; and Inky, a space octopus and artist who communicates through his ink drawings.” Looks as if the show ended it’s run in the US back in 2016. Fortunately, lots of episodes are still up and about on YouTube.
image c. 2017 Atomic Cartoons
Ep 171 - Gayzer Tag - WE WILL BE DOING A YouTube LIVESTREAM FRIDAY at 8…
WE WILL BE DOING A YouTube LIVESTREAM FRIDAY at 8pm!!! STAY TUNED! OH HEY, WE HAVE A WEBSITE NOW TOO www.thedraggetshow.com Patreons will get episodes first right after recording. Just a buck gets you early access and a downloadable mp3 file! www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow Serathin's amazing Dragget Show story! - docs.google.com/document/d/1AYkJR…y8RCsCK0NjEw/edit ALSO, we're not just on SoundCloud, you can also subscribe to this on most podcast services like iTunes! Ep 171 - Gayzer Tag - WE WILL BE DOING A YouTube LIVESTREAM FRIDAY at 8…
Furry Fursuitmaker
Garbage Night, by Jen Lee. – Book Review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
Garbage Night, by Jen Lee. Illustrated.
London, NYC, Nobrow Ltd., June 2017, hardcover $18.95 (98 pages).
Garbage Night is #2 in Lee’s Vacancy series; what Amazon calls “dystopian graphic novels”. Vacancy, #1 in the series, was published in June 2015. But Garbage Night the book includes the complete Vacancy as a bonus. Garbage Night itself is 70 pages, followed immediately by “Now read Jen Lee’s original comic, Vacancy” for 26 more pages. You should skip directly to Vacancy, read it first, then return to the beginning of Garbage Night. Be warned that it still ends with a “to be continued”.
What is going on is unexplained. The blurb for the first story says, “Vacancy explores the ways that animals think; how they internalize their changing environment and express their thoughts, fears, or excitement.” The blurb for Garbage Night says, “Juvenile animals strive to survive across a post-apocalyptic wasteland in this striking parable about the nature of freedom and friendship.” What it is is about anthropomorphic animals (they wear clothes and are bipedal) living in a deserted, humanless world.
Simon is a pet watchdog left behind when his humans disappeared. But it is obvious that what’s happened is more complex than that. The entire town shows years of having been deserted. Signs are peeling, windows are broken, cloth is rotting, roofs are falling in. Simon roams through his owners’ empty house, wishing that they’d return to fil his food bowl, but not really believing it after so long. What remains of the town has been scavenged out of food by the abandoned pets and nearby wildlife like Monica the opossum. When two forest animals pass through town – Cliff, a raccoon, and Reynard, a deer with a broken antler – Simon asks to go with them. “I need someone to show me the ropes of the wild.”
In Vacancy four hungry coyotes (also anthropomorphized) chase them back into town again. In Garbage Night the three team up with Barnaby, another dog looking for another town that is rumored to still have humans and their food.
“We were just talking yesterday, in fact, about how we’re gonna leave for that … other town! The one with all the things!”
“Fallbridge?”
“Um, yeah!”
“Ha, me too. Yeah, it’s supposed to have everything. Why don’t we go together? I know a short cut.”
At the end of Garbage Night (named for the long-gone night once a week when the humans used to set big cans of edible garbage out to be picked up), Simon, Cliff, and Reynard are on the outskirts of the semi-mythical Fallbridge. Their reactions to Barnaby, and what happened to him, are part of the story. To be continued.
Jen Lee is also the author of the semi-animated webcomic Thunderpaw in the Ashes of Fire Mountain, http://thunderpaw.co/ (Warning: it contains the same kind of flashing lights that sent almost 700 Japanese children watching Pokémon too close to the TV (almost with nose prints on the TV screen) to the hospital with mild epilectic seizures in December 1997.) Garbage Night gives her a more varied palette, even if her colors are all muted. Compare the shifting lighting from the daytime scenes on pages 22-23 to the greens within the forest on pages 38-39, the evening scenes on pages 48-49, and the full night on pages 68-69. Look at how she indicates rising or falling voices, or characters talking over each other, by her use of speech balloons; or different characters talking in the same panel by different colored balloons on pages 86-87. Subtle stuff. I want to see Vacancy #3.
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TigerTails Radio Season 10 Episode 35
How to Be Cool and Play Off that Furry Porn You Forgot Was on Your Phone
@SpotlessEnvy saw my Onion-style headline and suggested writing the article. I asked if they wanted to try it as a guest post. Here it is, with the extra fabulous bonus of illustrations made by Spotless. Check them out for art commissions. – Patch
Unfortunately, it’s a common awkward moment in the day of the smartphone. You hand your phone to a friend, family member, coworker, etc. to show them your vacation photos, the 87 pictures of your dog you took this morning, 2007’s embarrassing Halloween costume or the like, and despite your pleading scream of, “Don’t swipe!” they swipe. In the fandom, what’s the worst thing for them to find on your phone?
How to Be Cool and Play Off that Furry Porn You Forgot Was on Your Phone:
1. I got this phone on Craigslist
Hey, buying gently used electronics off Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, and the like is fairly common these days. Just explain that you didn’t think to clear the memory before using it. “Don’t worry Mom, I’m not a sexual deviant; the person I bought the phone from was!”
2. My roommates/friends like to play obscure jokes
Live in a dorm or apartment with other people? Hang out with friends regularly? If you answered yes to either of these questions, congratulations! You have a scapegoat. “Dang, Jimmy must have messed with my phone while I was in the bathroom. What a stinker!”
3. I’m doing a presentation on current art trends
You could easily swap out art trends for viral marketing or some other topic. Explain that you were researching for a presentation and needed pictures for the slides. “Y’know Carl, you’d never believe how profitable this stuff is. I’m sure Professor Smith’s never seen this topic before!”
4. There’s this obscure virus going around…
There’s all kinds of strange forms of malware and viruses on the net. Who’s to say there isn’t one that instantly downloads 16 gigabytes of suggestive pictures of dog-people onto your phone? “Oh no! Looks like I’ve been hit with the E621 virus!”
5. I share my GoogleDrive with a friend
Or other cloud-storage service. “Look Sarah, we both know Harry is into some weird stuff. My fault for sharing the cloud with him I guess.”
6. Just own up to it
Listen, furries are becoming more and more mainstream. Just go ahead and say it; usually the person will appreciate the honesty. If they’re close enough to you, they probably won’t care that you moonlight as a giant fuzzy husky/dragon hybrid who’s into bondage or what have you.
Pro Tip: if you decide on using one of the first five options, it might be best to have those files stored elsewhere. Don’t wanna lose good quality porn!
(Note: the suiters pictured are anotheredgydog [white dog] and theshoujoprince [blue/tan dog])
– SpotlessEnvy (Check out their art!)
OH WOW doing a super sale for some Megaplex money!! RT appreciated!!@BuySFWFurryArt @payforfurryart @BuySFWFurryArt @furrycommission pic.twitter.com/CubgGhGIx4
— SpotlessEnvy (@SpotlessEnvyArt) July 28, 2017Put A Pug In Your Life
And another studio making the rounds again. This time from France. We learned about TeamTO in 2014 thanks to their feature film Yellowbird. Now they’re back with a television and on-line project that’s getting a lot of press, called Take It Easy Mike. “Described by TeamTO as ‘Tom & Jerry meets silly pet videos’, it turns on Mike, a refined pug with boundless energy and sophisticated tastes who’s dead-set on seducing the neighbor’s lovely dog Cindy. But his best laid plans go awry – thanks to the inopportune appearances of a bunch of trouble-makers: Freddy and Mercury, raccoons; Fluffy the cutest kitten; and a turtle trio – all causing unforeseen twists and turns.” But that’s not the reason this no-dialogue project is turning heads. “…One of the show’s stars – and what really sets it apart and has certainly got TV networks and TeamTO excited – is its photo-realism, fruit of TeamTO’s decade-long push to improve the quality, costs and speed of its physical animation.” Could not find any footage on line though, so it seems as if we’ll have to wait ’till 2018 to see what it’s like.
Image c. 2017 TeamTO
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Growing Up Is Hard To Do
Mexico’s Anima Estudio have been mentioned around here before, most recently for their upcoming animated feature based on the 1960’s TV animation oddity Here Comes the Grump. In the meantime, they’ve completed work on another CGI feature called Monster Island, set to be released soon direct to DVD. “When Lucas finds out he is not really a human, but actually a monster, the news changes his whole world! Embarking on a quest to Monster Island to discover his real roots, Lucas undergoes a journey he will never forget. He finds himself face to face with more tentacles, fangs and far-out situations than he can shake one of his new wings at. Ultimately Lucas learns that being a freak, isn’t freaky — it means you’re a member of a brand new type of family that you can proudly call your own.” The film is directed by Leopoldo Aguilar, and it features the voices of Fiona Hardingham, Katie Leigh (Gummi Bears), Jenifer Kaplan, Erik Larsen, and Michael Robles. Amazon says to look for it this September.
image c. 2017 Anima Estudio
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World, by Shannon and Dean Hale – review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World, by Shannon Hale & Dean Hale. Illustrated by Bruno Mangyoku.
NYC, Marvel Press, February 2017, hardcover $13.99 (324 [+ 1] pages), Kindle $9.99.
The Marvel Comics Group is having hardcover novelizations written of most of its high-profile super-heroes such as Iron Man, for the 9-to-12 age group. Marvel does not go in for animal heroes, so the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl and her 300 squirrels are about the only ones who would qualify for interest to furry fans. New York Times bestselling author Shannon Hale specializes in romantic novels for adolescent girls and young women, many in collaboration with her husband, Dean Hale.
This novel recounts the beginning of Squirrel Girl’s career, written in a breezy teenager’s diary style. The comic book stories began in 1991 with her as a 21-year-old college student, but here 14-year-old Doreen Green has just moved with her parents from Southern California to Shady Oaks, New Jersey. “Who runs the world? Squirrels!” Doreen may be prejudiced because she was born with a bushy squirrel’s tail. Otherwise she looks like any young teenage girl, except that she’s super-strong and has retractable claws and “her two front teeth were a little longer than their neighbors. She had to gnaw on things to keep them from getting even longer. Things like logs.” (p. 2) Maple logs are her favorite.
No reason is given for her having a squirrel’s tail, but Hey! this is the Marvel Universe. Doreen used to see She-Hulk while she lived in Los Angeles, and now she’s looking forward to seeing Thor and the other Avengers who live in nearby New York City.
Doreen is hiding her tail in her pants because a 9th-grader with a bushy tail would look kind of freaky*. She left all her old friends, human and squirrel, back in L.A. and she’s looking forward to making new ones. The human teenagers in Shady Oaks are a bit standoffish, but when Doreen climbs a tree in a city park, she runs into a squirrel being squeezed to death in “some kind of weird squirrel death trap.” She frees the squirrel, who runs off.
The squirrel is Tippy-Toe, and that’s how she and Doreen meet. Tippy-Toe and Doreen’s mother Maureen are the only other characters from the Marvel comic book; everyone else is original for this novel. So it doesn’t duplicate from the comic books, just in case you’re familiar with Squirrel Girl’s career. Chapters narrated by Tippy-Toe are in the first person and are slightly more mature. Tippy-Toe acknowledges that the human girl saved her life, she follows her to her human nest, and at night they talk together in the squirrel’s language of Chitterspeak. Doreen gives Tippy-Toe a pink ribbon to wear around her neck. Tippy-Toe is her first friend.
Photo by Elle Collins, Townsquare Media
At Union Junior High, Doreen is frozen out by the girls’ cliques. Her first human BFF is Ana Sofia Arcos Romero, another loner because she’s Hispanic and almost totally deaf. Doreen knows Ameslan, American Sign Language because she has a Canadian cousin who’s deaf, so she and Ana Sofia have long conversations in sign language. This just gets them a reputation as being super-weird with the other kids.
Doreen’s first outings as a super-hero (I’d say super-heroine, but apparently that’s sexist) are at night away from street lights. She puts trash back in garbage cans that juvenile delinquents have tipped over, and cleans up graffiti, taking advantage of the dark to let her tail out of her pants and to use her super-strength to leap away or up into a tree to escape notice. She gets a reputation as the Jersey Ghost. Only Ana Sofia and the squirrels know her secret.
Tippy-Toe takes Doreen as a role model and decides to become a hero for the squirrels. They can use one, because whoever set out that squeeze-to-death cage that caught her sets out a lot more, marked MM, for both tree squirrels and ground squirrels. Other tree squirrels include Little Candy Creeper, Fuzz Fountain Cortez, Bear Bodkin, Bubo Nic, and W. Scummerset Maugham, while the ground squirrels have names like Big Daddy Spud, Miranda Creepsforth, Puffin Furslide, and Pug Muffintop. (There are two pages of squirrel names like Suzie Skunkkiller and Henry Hexapod, and I’m not going to quote them all.)
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World is almost halfway through before the plot picks up speed. Doreen gets her Squirrel Girl secret identity. She foils a carjacking, and rescues an endangered baby. She rescues two endangered babies (sort of):
“Ana Sofia [texting]: Good I know ur grounded but a balloon got loose
Doreen: You really need to tie those things to your wrist
Ana Sofia: No srsly I was sleuthing near the burger frog grand opening. A hot air balloon got untethered and is floating away. A man and woman are screaming that their baby is on the balloon” (p. 131)
And she gains her first super-foe; whoever is saturating Shady Oaks with those MM death traps for squirrels. Okay, he’s only a minor super-villain, but she’s only 14 years old. And he is trying to kill her.
There are guest appearances by the Avengers, and even Rocket from the Guardians of the Galaxy turns up for four pages toward the end. Squirrel Girl and Ana Sofia take care of the human side of things, and Tippy-Toe leads the 300 squirrels:
“‘This is where we hold them,’ I shouted. ‘On this abandoned field, this is where we fight! Whether we crush them by acorn or shred them by claw! Remember this day, squirrels, for it will be yours for all time!’
‘CHK-CHA!’ the army responded.
‘Squirrels, what is your profession?’
‘NUTS AND DEATH!’ came the reply.
‘This day we rescue an ignorant world from destruction!’ I said. ‘We protect a world that would call us vermin! Why do we do this? Because we are mighty! Because we are valiant! BECAUSE WE ARE SQUIRRELS!’” (pgs. 288-289)
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World (cover by Bruno Mangyoku) isn’t really illustrated. Mangyoku, a French commercial artist, has done the front and back covers, the endpapers, and one page of Tippy-Toe demonstrating nine martial-arts poses. That’s all.
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Book 2, also by the Hales, will be published in March 2018.
*Fortunately, a squirrel’s tail is flexible and mostly air, and it folds up inside pants really easily, although it does make Doreen look like she has a big butt. Squirrel Meets World has over a hundred footnotes like this.
Photo by Elle Collins, Townsquare Media
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A Savage and J Hodgman as Chewbaccas!
HappyWulf’s Furry KickStarters – Ep. 2
Last week: HappyWulf’s Furry KickStarters – Ep. 1
We’re back! I have some treats to back for furs who cut their teeth on waiting for mail to come from sending for box-top prizes! This month’s theme seems to be pins! (One of which ended… these are sorted in the order they are expiring.)
Mer-Cat Pins – I hope you like sushi, because these are Mermaid Cat… Pins. Yes, exactly as it says on the tin. This is a rather small looking project with only 23 backers at the time of writing.
Scribbler DUO: The World’s First Dual-Nozzle 3D Printing Pen – Can you draw, but not 3D Model? Wish you could draw in 3D? Well…. Now you can try! Not inherently Furry itself, but it definitely has possibilities. I’m including this this week in the interest of allowing everyone the chance to make their own choices on backing, but you can’t have that choice without knowing it exists! So, here it is!
Legendary Creatures – One of two board games this week. This one appears to be a Resource Management game with some deck manipulation. It has a very simple and angular art style with a Mythical Beast theme. Enough to warrant a spot on this list. As it is a board game, I can’t attest to how good it is without actually getting my paws on it, but i t does appear to be medium weight and not mere fluff.
Werewolf/Moon Pin – Another Pin, this is one ‘monstrous’ design tho; With wolf and moon, attached by chain. I don’t see any mention of extra Shipping costs, so it may be $15 for a Pin with shipping included.
Bandanimals – Here’s one that’s obviously by furries for furries. It’s a re-design of the muzzle bandannas I’m sure you’ve seen at cons. This update promises a lighter material that is easier to breath through and a 1-sided design so you can flip it around and wear as a non-muzzle normal bandanna.
Beasts of Balance – This is a balancing game along the lines of Jenga. It comes with an App that connects to your smart device that it uses to visualize the game’s scoring. This project in particular is for a 2nd edition along side a new expansion for the base game which actually came out a while ago.
Fauna of the Dirty South – Our last set of pins features punk Opossums and Trash Pandas. I investigated a tiny bit more on this one as I didn’t have much to say on the project and found his instagram a little interesting. Particularly the skull with fuzzy fox ears.
Cartoon Miniatures – We have another set of anthro miniatures, but these ones are a bit more unique with less common species. I like the Panda, but Rinos are rather more exotic when it comes to anthros.
Re:Legend – Multiplayer Monster Rancher X Rune Factory. If that does not ring any bells: Monster Rancher was a monster raising sim where you trained monsters to take part in monthly fighting tournaments, entirely unlike pokemon’s exp grind system. Rune Factory was a farming simulator like Harvest Moon, but also with dungeons and combat. It is currently all clear for a PC release on Steam but has stretch goals assigned for every major console, including the Switch.
I have one final thing I’d like to share this week and that is from a project that has long since ended but which you can now buy their stuff right from their online store. It’s another set of furry miniatures with a bit of Chibi to them. Have a look and pick up any that jump out at you.
Bombshell Miniatures: Kritterkins – Remember these come unpainted.
It should also be mentioned that BarPig and The Tim’rous Beastie Anthology mentioned last week are still funding and available to be backed.
– HappyWulf
Look! Up in the Sky!
According to an article at Animation Magazine, the Chinese tech company Tencent has agreed to invest heavily in the development of a new CGI series, Super BOOMi, created by Up Studios (also from China). This furry little super hero has already enjoyed widespread exposure in China, and now his creators are looking to expand his reach to international markets. Up Studios are also working on at least two other animated adaptations: Piggy and Tomo Explores The World.
image c. 2016 Up Studios
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TigerTails Radio Season 10 Episode 34
The truth about the myth that “Deo Killed RMFC” – guest post by Harper.
I know this is kind of old news, but I still see people going on about it. This is about @DeoTasDevil taking down RMFC (allegedly).
— Harper (@GunRoar) July 21, 2017It’s very possible you’ve heard the assertion that Deo (DeoTasDevil) is responsible for the demise of Rocky Mountain Fur Con. There’s been a lot of back and forth about it, and allegedly she’s the main and even sole party responsible. Let’s put aside the various instances of the fallout and just examine the sequence of events pertaining to Deo’s participation.
- In January 2017, Deo tweets “can’t wait to punch these nazis.”
- She receives a reply from someone that they would be amused if she were shot in response to her purported action.
- Deo responds asking if this person was threatening to bring a gun to RMFC.
- Deo contacts RMFC security to inform them of a potential issue.
Let me be clear: I'm aware of no state that allows you to shoot someone for punching you, then crying self-defense.
— Boozy Badger (@BoozyBadger) May 27, 2017^ A lawyer’s opinion.
In April, three months later, the C&D letter and SovCit business happens. RMFC reveals that the hotel and local police have been called numerous times to make various threats (before and after Deo’s January tweet.) This concerns the hotel so much that they demand RMFC pay an additional $22,000 for increased police presence at the property. Shortly after the cost demand, RMFC announces they’re shutting down. Elsewhere, Deo is accused of having made at least some of the calls to the hotel and police, if not having orchestrated the entire phone-based attack. Essentially, some group of people mass called the hotel of the venue to make bogus threats and fake safety/publicity concerns, which led to the hotel asking for extra funding to be provided for increased security (months after Deo’s tweet.)
(Patch:) To update the April article that preceded the closing of RMFC – a clarification was recently added by request. Deo gave an accurate quote of emailing the con only. She didn’t contact the hotel or police in Colorado. At the time it was written, there wasn’t a group dedicated to blaming Deo, so that wasn’t made entirely clear.
Fast forward a few months and Califur experiences the same problem. People begin calling the hotel– though this time regarding the content of one of the panels featured at Califur– making fabricated concerns and threats. The hotel demands a hefty fee for additional security. However, the individuals behind this attack are members of “Alt-furry”. They even discuss formulating a plan to attack AC in a similar fashion.
Who fucked over Califur?
Oh yeah it was those assholes organizing threatening calls inside their AltFurry Discord.
Evidence: pic.twitter.com/nFUa07q7ZE
https://t.co/7qxUDS807B@CaliFur lost $24,000 because people made threats over a baby-fur panel which they already hosted the year before. pic.twitter.com/361RclepwY
— ChipFox ???? (@chipfoxx) June 26, 2017Coincidentally, the people claiming that Deo orchestrated the attack on RMFC are also members of Alt-furry. This makes two conventions that have been attacked in this way with a third planned (though no word on whether or not AC was actually attacked has been given). Assuming we don’t know the identities of who attacked RMFC, we do know that Alt-furry went after Califur. Both follow the same MO, yet we’re told that Deo is guilty by the very people caught redhanded in the second and potentially-third attack.
This is an immediate red flag that the accusation against Deo is little more than deception. The more likely scenario is that members of the Alt-furry group executed both attacks and are attempting to use Deo as a scapegoat, following her sudden notoriety from her tweet being thrust into the public eye. If you add in various things that I’ve skipped over (RMFC’s loss of tax exempt status, the owner’s sex offense record, the poor handling of pseudo-nazi instigation)… it just doesn’t add up that Deo managed to sink RMFC with a vague threat lacking credibility.
Perhaps you’ve heard a different account of the debacle surrounding RMFC, but regardless of what, there’s no denying the suspicious actions from members of Alt-furry that undermine their claims.
Consider this: Your house is burglarized. Not long after, your neighbor’s house is burglarized, but your neighbor manages to catch the burglar. You find out that the thief was planning to rob another home. When you ask, the thief claims that they weren’t the one that robbed you. Would you believe it?
– Harper
Further reference:
- Screens of Altfurry planning to interfere with Califur.
- Interview with RMFC’s Chair.
- A false rumor about RMFC is repeating history from the Burned Furs.
- How furry fandom is rejecting neo-nazis, “Altfurs” and Furry Raiders who target kids for hate.
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The Rules of Acquisition
[Hey Ed-Otter! Where’ve you been? Down with a temperature, that’s where. Sorry for the absence! More catching up from Comic Con…] Sean “Cheeks” Galloway is perhaps best known (among the Furry Fans at very least!) as the illustrator of the Pearls of Panderia graphic novel (which of course we’ve talked about). Now he’s back with a more personal project: His own comic imprint, Table Taffy. Recently he released the first Table Taffy Comic ‘Zine. We’ll let him explain: “Table Taffy Comic ‘Zine is a new line of books to showcase comics based on my creator-owned projects! Issue #1 features the Shadow Pirates one-shot #1, as well as comics for my Bastion’s 7, Gumshoes 4 Hire, Little Big Heads, and introducing my new property, Mohnstur Watch! Games and activities are also included, so the whole family can enjoy!” Plenty of characters both human and decidedly-not to be found here. Visit his web site to learn more.
image c. 2017 Table Taffy
Art Jam
Eric Risher of the documentary Furries has a new short. "AnthrOhio 2017 - Columbus, OH The time is 10:00 PM. While most convention attendees are seeking out parties or preparing for the dance, a group of artists have united in one of the hotel meeting rooms. It's an art jam: a safe space to work on the day's commissions while enjoying the company of others. Step into the world of the furry artists and see what goes on after the Dealer Room and Artist Alley close. Explore various artistic techniques and mediums as the artists reflect on their personal experiences."
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The Latte Segment, by Zoe Landon – book review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
The Latte Segment, by Zoe Landon
Portland, OR, Leporidae Media, February 2016, trade paperback $14.99 (282 pages), Kindle $4.99.
This is the purest funny-animal novel that I have ever read. Other than that the characters are all described as animals, there is nothing to differentiate this from any all-human novel.
Sarah Madsen is a young woman working as a marketing analyst in Portland, Oregon. Her boyfriend, Sean, is an unemployed computer programmer from Silicon Valley in California. Sarah relaxes alone almost every Sunday at the Deadline Cafe over an expensive latte laced with mint; her only vice.
“Sarah fidgeted and the corner creaked. She was worrying about money.
Her finances were safe, by most reasonable standards, yet there was a nagging sense that she should be doing better. Perhaps she could save a little more. She could go to fewer movies with Sean and their whole circle of friends. She couldn’t get rid of her television like Sean did; she relied on it too much for work. But she could stop coming to the Deadline Cafe every Sunday. It did feel like the lattes got more expensive the last year or so.
Everything in Portland felt like it was getting more expensive lately. Most of it was inevitable. She moved here when things weren’t very good anywhere, and now things were especially good here. New businesses were popping up in her neighborhood left and right. Businesses that, for one reason or another, she rarely went to.” (pgs. 5-6)
Sarah’s life and circle of acquaintances are built up very slowly. There are Carl, her apartment neighbor, and Deborah, her cheerful elderly landlady who is always running about fixing things in the old building.
“They had a good rapport from the day Sarah first saw the apartment. Deborah was always willing to try and fix anything that came up from the residents, even the sort of work that a woman of her age would rarely attempt. Sarah could hardly think of a time she called for a handyman and it wasn’t Deborah herself that came to fix things.” (p. 20)
There are Michelle, her perky, friendly middle-aged office mate, and Alex, her artist friend who is apparently transgender – he keeps switching from one gender to the other.
“Alex was known to move around with what pronouns he preferred. Sarah was always willing to oblige, but it was the sort of information that needed to be passed around.
He was one of the first people Sarah got to know in Portland. He was offering art lessons at the time, and Sarah took him up on the offer. He fit Sarah’s idea of the eccentric, androgynous artist to a T: a small, curiously fashionable otter, soft-spoken with an excitable and scattered brain. Just the kind of character Sarah wanted to get to know.” (p. 13)
Oh, Sarah is a brown-furred rabbit. Sean is a raccoon, Michelle is a wolf, Carl is a hyena, and Deborah is a coyote. Others are gradually introduced.
Sarah has been working regularly for several years and is well-liked, but she is bored and toys with quitting.
“Sarah could only deal with these months [the hectic end-of-quarters]. She didn’t enjoy the chaos. After four years at this job, however, she learned to manage it. She was in charge of managing marketing campaigns for two different clients, and she kept tabs on them gradually. Her approach was measured; chaos would only bring more chaos. An email here, a meeting there, a phone call on occasion, delivered slowly and when necessary. They weren’t the projects with the best performance or most spend or anything that her bosses cared about, but she kept organized and planned ahead. For that, she was well-liked.” (p. 15)
Sarah’s relationship with Sean might be described as more perfunctory than lively.
“‘So,’ Sean said, ‘I need you to explain something to me. How in the hell have you not seen Young Frankenstein?’
Sarah shrugged. ‘I haven’t gotten into Mel Brooks yet. He’s not my style.’
‘But he’s –‘
Sean cut himself off. He loved debating movies with friends. Most of them were even good for a snappy quip in return, the sort of friendly banter that endeared Sarah to the whole crowd. Sean played well off Kate in particular because she was so loud. Sarah, a more mild-mannered rabbit, wasn’t a good foil.” (p. 11)
Kate is a meerkat. Lee, another member of their movie-watching group, is a ferret. Matthew, the manager of an art-house theater that they attend, is a sharply-dressed ocelot.
One day Sarah gets a form letter from Deborah to all her apartment residents announcing her retirement.
“Don’t you fret, though! I’m handing over the keys to the folks at Waterknell Management. Yes, it’s a big group of folks, but they have a bunch of little families in town. I’ve heard good things about them, so I’m sure they’ll take care of you folks just fine. They’ll be moving in a few weeks from now, October 1st! My, is it almost the end of the year already?
Anyway, their man Andrew will be taking over my office, so I hope you all take a chance to get to know him. He’s a fine young hare, but he’s sure got some little shoes to fill here!” (pgs. 20-21)
Sarah is mildly surprised, but not much since Deborah is so obviously past retirement age. She idly wonders who her new landlords will be.
“‘She did say it was some local management company. Never heard of ‘em, but still.’” (p. 23)
Sarah uses her marketing database to look up Waterknell Management. She can’t find any other locations listed in Portland. But there are other Waterknell Managements all across America.
“Now that it affected her, she found herself sitting at her desk, trying to research the new company. There were a dozen Waterknells, dotted across the country, making claims to anything from suburban townhouses to commercial towers. It was a strange name to be so generic. None looked like they held very strictly to any geographic area, so Sarah wasn’t sure which would be her new landlord come October.
[…]
Purely from a marketing standpoint, something was fishy about the Waterknells. Browsing across a few sites between work tasks, she started noticing similarities. The website layouts started to match, almost precisely.” (p. 25)
A more obvious giveaway is that all the Waterknells list the same manager, or president, or CEO: Andrew Casterwall, a brown-grey hare. San Mateo. Houston. He’s everywhere. What does this mean? He can’t be a friendly landlord/building repairman for all of them, can he?
As Sarah goes to work every weekday, watches movies with Sean and her friends, helps Alex put on art exhibits, and drinks lattes on Sundays, she is affected by her apartment’s change of management. To nobody’s surprise but hers, the new management is cancelling all leases and requiring new ones at $500 a month more. Her building is going to be gentrified; have a total makeover and cater to more upper-class tenants; more transients rather than those who consider their apartment their permanent home. None of the current residents can afford the new rents.
Should Sarah protest? She is hardly the first apartment renter to be priced out by a new management. Some of her friends and acquaintances are supportive to her protesting; others just shrug and say, “So move. Why bother to fight it?”
The Latte Segment (cover by Simon Avery) is a well-written, leisurely slice-of-life novel about a young yuppie woman facing a Big Corporation. Compared to the drama of most fiction, nothing happens at great length. There seems to be no reason for the characters to be anthropomorphized animals except that the author wants to call them that. The animals are all human size; live in well-known American cities; go to movies by Hitchcock and Spielberg and Kubrick; eat the same food; and so on. There are no illustrations – even Avery’s well-designed cover doesn’t show anything – so aside from calling Sarah a rabbit every so often, it’s easy to forget what animal each character is supposed to be, and to just imagine the cast as humans. I can’t say that this is a bad novel – it isn’t – but I can say that it isn’t really an anthropomorphic-animal novel except in the most superficial meaning of the term.
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