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Feral Attraction is a relationship and sex advice podcast serving as a resource to the furry community. Visit us at www.feralattraction.com to view our show notes, read our advice column, or ask us a question for us to use on the show.
Updated: 2 years 22 weeks ago

FA 108 Toxic Popularity - We discuss the ethics of zoophilia, toxic popularity, and becoming more dominant in bed.

Wed 19 Dec 2018 - 22:38

On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the sexualization of animals, and the various forms such sexualization can take (zoophilia, bestiality, zoosadism). Guest host Klik Wolf joins us to discuss our main topic, toxic popularity — we talk about how the desire to become popular can turn some well-meaning furs into people they don’t want to be. We close with advice about becoming more dominant in bed.

Viro: Welcome back to Feral Attraction! Joining me as a guest host this week is Klik Wolf. Klik, why don’t you take a moment to introduce yourself?

Klik: Hello, I'm klik Wolf. I'm an aspiring indie game dev and adult performer and I've been in the furry fandom for over 8 years but have just recently started getting involved in the community.

Introduction topic

What forms can sexualization of animals take?

Zoophilia

Taking a sexual interest in animals

Fantasizing about animals or animal parts in a sexual way

May include feral art / roleplay

Bestiality

Having sexual contact with an animal

Zoosadism

Torturing an animal for the purpose of sexual gratification

What are the ethics of having a sexual interest in animals?

Should we be tolerant of non-offending zoophiles?

What are the ethics of thought crimes?

What is the legality?

Sexual contact with animals is illegal in many jurisdictions, including most of the United States

Hawaii, Kentucky, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming are the only states that lack explicit anti-bestiality laws

Toxic Popularity

What is the purpose of fandom?

The furry fandom was created to be a place where anyone could be accepted and supported, a fandom where people could forget about shallow ideas like popularity and enjoy the company of others without worrying about social pretenses. Unfortunately, many furs don't feel like this is the case.

How does popularity in the fandom actually work?

What tends to get social media attention

Often, things that are quite impersonal

Positivity

Memes

Relatable sentiments

Fursuit pics

Humor/Puns

Smut

Porn

What tends to make people avoid you

Often, things that are quite personal

Drama

Negativity

Contrarianism

(unless you’re popular specifically for being a troll)

Neediness

Desperation

Awkwardness

Inappropriateness

Cliques

Many groups of friends in the fandom are essentially by invitation only

It can be frustrating to attempt to befriend someone who is part of a clique

The value of a clique lies in there being an “outgroup” of people who supposedly “aren’t worthy” of being in

You do not need to internalize the message that you “aren’t worthy” just because a particular clique seems closed off to you

What are the downsides of popularity?

Haters

Some people will be envious of you and will take a dislike to you, or even work to sabotage you

Extra scrutiny

Lots of eyes and ears on you means people notice your mistakes (microaggressions, moments of weakness/anger, etc.)

Tone policing

Can feel like you need to wear a mask, not be “human”

Prejudice

People who know you by reputation can form first impressions of you without you ever actually meeting them

Can create a sense of paranoia

Emotional bandwidth

Fan interactions / fan service can become extremely draining and allow little time/energy for personal/intimate relationships

How do you want to show up in the fandom?

Why do you want to be popular?

Attention?

Sexual partner selection?

Influence?

Legacy?

Power?

What would popularity actually bring you?

Weigh pros/cons

How much of your “true self” are you willing to lose?

How can you show up in a likable but authentic way?

How else can you create the emotions you’re after?

Who do you really want to be well liked by?

Feedback


“I just found your podcasts the other day through Culturally F’d. You guys do a wonderful service for humanity and the anthro community. Life’s been fucking dark so I look forward to the new episodes and I’m speechless for how this fandom is matured. Without a doubt, thank you for everything you do, seriously. In just about 6 months I returned to being a furry after like 10 years, and everywhere I look I see so much to fucking love in this community. Especially resistance regaining ground against empire. Seems so unreal.” - Daisy

Question(s)

What is the first step to going from being a submissive to becoming a dominant in bed? After five years, my boyfriend wants to have me dominate and take control. I’m a little nervous and really unsure of how to start to ease into the role without becoming overwhelmed.

Received via Contact Form (name withheld)

FA 023 BDSM Roles Demystified: https://www.feralattraction.com/shownotes/fa023

Learning to be more dominant in bed advice column:
https://www.feralattraction.com/advice/learning-to-be-more-dominant-in-bed

Closer

Contact info

Contact Viro:

Telegram: t.me/viroscicollie

Twitter: twitter.com/viroscicollie

Contact Klik:

Telegram: t.me/Klik2097

Twitter: https://twitter.com/klik2097 (warning: 18+ NSFW)

Feral Attraction Twitter:

twitter.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Contact Page:

feralattraction.com/contact

Coaching Services now available!

As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!

For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching

Other business

Patreon

Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

FA 108 Toxic Popularity - We discuss the ethics of zoophilia, toxic popularity, and becoming more dominant in bed.
Categories: Podcasts

FA 107 Friendship - What is a good friendship, when is the right time to distance yourself from a friend, and how do you revive a fading friendship worth saving?

Tue 18 Sep 2018 - 09:51

Feral Attraction
Episode 107 - Friendship 9/14/18

Intro

On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the history of happiness, and why happiness may be elusive. Soatok Dhole joins us to discuss our main topic, friendship — what is a good friendship, when is the right time to distance yourself from a friend, and how do you revive a fading friendship worth saving? We close with a question about how to handle developing feelings for a straight roommate.

Introduction topic

A history of happiness explains why capitalism makes us feel empty inside

Sean Illing - Vox

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/9/4/17759590/happiness-fantasy-capitalism-culture-carl-cederstrom

Topic

What is friendship?

“Essential and fundamental to friendship is that it is a natural, spontaneous, freely given and entered into relationship promised as much on subliminal cues that prompt liking as on anything that the parties could specify as a reason for engaging in it” – philosopher AC Grayling

Friend vs. friendly acquaintance

Common to both:

People who make you a better person

People who you enjoy spending time with

People who you have a history of shared experience with

People who share your values, your hobbies, your interests, and/or your kinks

Unique to friends:

People you can trust

People you can confide in

People you can be yourself around

Loyalty

Problems arise when you expect loyalty from someone you considered a friend, but who views you as a friendly acquaintance

What is a bad friendship?

“Our friends aren’t toxic — they’re just human”

Ephrat Livni - Quartz

https://qz.com/1352437/our-friends-arent-toxic-theyre-just-human/

Many people argue a “bad friend” is one who consistently brings you down or holds you back

“The current cultural discourse suggests that friends are people who we use to improve ourselves, and get rid of when the going gets tough or if we’re not having enough fun. … It’s friendship as a capitalistic exchange, instead of relationships involving people who care about each other, hanging out, and helping each other through life’s ups and downs.”

This philosophy leads many people to treat their friends as disposable, and to abandon them when they need support and are not contributing to the friendship — right when they need a friend the most

It is important to remember the golden rule in friendship, and to treat others as we’d like to be treated

You wouldn’t want to be abandoned during a time of hardship when you couldn’t be there for your friends as much as you’d like to be

Abandoning a friend at the first sign of conflict or distress in the relationship will leave you with very few friends

It is often worth it to attempt to reconcile or ignore certain conflicts for the sake of maintaining an otherwise valuable friendship

Friends who consistently do not support you, who do not share your values, and who have a history of being unreliable may be less worthy of continued or increased investment of time and other resources

In some circumstances, it can be worthwhile to invest in old friendships even when values and goals have drifted apart, for the sake of having someone who can “ground you” in your own history

It is difficult for new friends to offer the same level of insight that old friends can provide to you

If you have many old friends, and a particular friendship is no longer offering benefit to either of you, it is okay to let a friendship turn back into a friendly acquaintanceship

Keep in mind: people change over time (and that’s ok!)

What is a good friendship?

In general, it is wise to invest in friends who:

Share your values

Support you as you pursue your goals

Point out your weaknesses and mistakes in a loving way

It can be tempting to seek friends who tell you everything you do is awesome, but it’s wise to have a few close friends who can call you on your mistakes

Assume good faith: When your close friends suggest you’ve done something wrong, it is generally because they care about your success, and not because they want to put you down

Have a history of being trustworthy and reliable

It isn’t all about you

“Real friendship is a kind of love, writes philosopher Bennet Helm. As such, it must ‘involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own.’”

It isn’t a great idea to be friends only with people who tell you everything you do is good

“A true friend didn’t just flatter and please. Quite the contrary, their value lie in the fact that they sometimes corrected or fought with their pals, to whom they’d give their all.”

Criticism that comes from a place of loyalty and respect, with the intent of making you a more authentic version of yourself, is very different from someone tearing you down

When you’re around a good friend, you should feel liberated to act with authenticity.

How do you revive a friendship?

How to Revive a Friendship

Anna Goldfarb — The New York Times

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/26/smarter-living/how-to-revive-a-friendship.html

Start by “identifying what variables, if any, have changed since your falling out.”

“Maybe you’re in a more stable place in life and are confident you can be a better, more attentive friend this time around.”

“Thinking about the reasons you grew apart and how things might be different now can help you take the steps needed to rebuild a closer and longer lasting friendship.”

Make the first move!

If neither of you reach out, you won’t talk

Being vulnerable and honest about missing your former friend can help you reconnect if they’re feeling the same way

Be prepared for rejection

Game out what you’d say and what you’d do to feel better if you are rejected

Assume good faith

It’s possible your friend would love to talk to you, but the thought just hasn’t occurred to them, because many other things are on their mind

It’s harmless to remind them you exist and would like to talk

Establish interest in re-establishing the friendship before jumping into emotionally difficult topics

Go in as if this were a new friendship

Start small with light topics and catching up on what is new with each of you

Good topics for conversation are anecdotes and requests for advice that focus on what is shared between you right now

Similar life experiences

Places you’ve both been to

Where you are in life

Location

Career

Lifestyle/Living Situation

Try socializing at first in a group setting

Game night

Movie night

Dinner party

Outing to a park for a hike or picnic

Try to present your best self

This will remind your former friend what they liked about you to begin with

It isn’t always possible to get back to the same level of friendship you had before

Be willing to accept a less intimate relationship, at least at first

Feedback

None for this week

Question(s)

I live with my best friend, who is a straight male. I am a gay male furry, and I am crushing hard on the the friend that I live with. How can I continue to be friends with him given the feelings I cannot share?

Received via Telegram (name withheld)

Closer

Contact info

Contact Viro:

t.me/viroscicollie

twitter.com/viroscicollie

Contact Soatok:

https://twitter.com/SoatokDhole

https://soatok.com

Feral Attraction Twitter:

twitter.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Contact Page:

feralattraction.com/contact

Coaching Services now available!

As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!

For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching

Other business

Patreon

Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

FA 107 Friendship - What is a good friendship, when is the right time to distance yourself from a friend, and how do you revive a fading friendship worth saving?
Categories: Podcasts

FA 106 Reconnecting With Family - How do you reconnect with family after being estranged, and why would you even want to?

Wed 15 Aug 2018 - 12:54

Introduction topic

THE MOST RELAXING VACATION YOU CAN TAKE IS GOING NOWHERE AT ALL

Ephrat Livni - Quartzy

https://qz.com/quartzy/1342058/the-most-relaxing-vacation-you-can-take-is-going-nowhere-at-all/

Importance of unstructured time

“Dolce far niente” - the sweet joy of doing nothing

“Remaining close to home—or just in it, hanging out—leaves you refreshed and provides perspective. And it may be the key to your next great idea.”

Become comfortable with being alone with yourself; wherever you go, your self comes with!

Take time to be present and enjoy wherever you are

avoid having a completionist mindset of ticking boxes just to say you’ve been somewhere

Topic

When is it a good idea to step away from family?

Toxic behavior

Emotional blackmail/coercion

Abusive/threatening behavior

Lack of acceptance

Need to create space to establish own values/priorities

Why reconnect with family?

Source of stability/constancy in your life

Reconnecting with unconditional love underlying family bonds

Greater understanding of self (family of origin)

If they loved you before, they can love you again

Support Structure

When is the right time to reconnect with family?

Financial independence

Stable, independent living situation

no risk, nothing to lose if your family chooses to reject you.

After time to heal / develop “new normal”

“Most parents prefer having a gay son to no son at all”
- Dan Savage

Times of crisis (family member ill/dying)

How to reconnect with family

Non-violent communication

Provide “first-aid” empathy

Seek to understand before seeking to be understood

Express your feelings and needs without placing blame or judgement on your family members

Look for a “win-win”

“My lifestyle is not the same as your lifestyle, but both are okay, and we can choose to live the life that we want”

Look for ways to spend time together that will meet everyone’s needs

Don’t rush it, go at your own pace

Reconnection isn’t going to happen overnight

Feedback

None for this week

Question(s)

What are some of the best techniques you could offer to help get over a toxic relationship? Doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or friends.

Self-empathy

Self-care

Choosing to control what you can (your actions/perceptions/interpretations) and release control of what you cannot (your abuser’s past actions, what your abuser does now)

Forgive your abuser (even if you don’t let them know)

Empathy and understanding can lessen pain

Forgiveness does not absolve someone of being responsible for their actions or of being held accountable

Forgive yourself for allowing the abuse to happen as long as it did

You are only capable of doing your best at any given moment, given the information you have

It is impossible to make a mistake; mistake is a judgement applied to an action after it has occurred

Figure out what you were getting from the toxic relationship

Try to figure out how you can get these needs met in a healthier way

Be mindful not to enter into a relationship with someone very like your previous partner

We are often attracted to what feels familiar, not what feels good

Closer

Contact info

Contact Viro:

t.me/viroscicollie

twitter.com/viroscicollie

Contact Rhythm:

twitter.com/Rhythm_Fox

t.me/RhythmFox

Feral Attraction Twitter:

twitter.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Contact Page:

feralattraction.com/contact

Coaching Services now available!

As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!

For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching

Other business

Patreon

Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

FA 106 Reconnecting With Family - How do you reconnect with family after being estranged, and why would you even want to?
Categories: Podcasts

FA 105 Choosing Your Values - Choosing your values; what are values, where do they come from, and how do we choose the values that will support what we most want to experience in life?

Wed 1 Aug 2018 - 12:19

Introduction topic

Rebooting the show

Update on what’s been happening during the hiatus

Explaining the new format

Topic

What Are Values?

“a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life” - Google Dictionary

We use our values to make judgements, particularly judgements of good and bad or right and wrong

Chase’s perspective on values

Personal constitution or bill of rights

Values (In Combination with Morals and Ethics) form a personal doctrine by which to live

Affects all decisions in Life

Much like Laws, can be changed but it is a difficult process

Where Do Our Values Come From?

Parents

Peers

Friends

Relationship partners

Society

Society at large

Subcultures we participate in

Types of Values

Fear-based values

Values based on fear are those that cause you to take action in order to avoid something

Think “have to”

Common fear-based values

Safety / Security

Absence of pain

Avoidance of conflict/confrontation

Physical appearance

Power/Control

Privacy

Religousity (fear of hell)

Recognition / Respect

Knowledge (based in fear of the unknown)

Consciousness-based values

What do we mean by consciousness?

Consciousness is your awareness of who you *really* are, as opposed to the “you” that you believe yourself to be, or the you that you were taught you were supposed to be

Consciousness-based values are those that cause you to take action to bring something desirable into your world

Think “want to”

Common consciousness-based values:

Pleasure/sensuality (as opposed to absence of pain)

Freedom (as opposed to security)

“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Ben Franklin

Achievement

Vs recognition (internal to self)

Leadership

Vs. control/management
(lead self before leading others)

Adventure/novelty

Autonomy

Spirituality (vs. religiousity, internal/external)

Chase Wolf: Notes on his experiences growing up in a religious household and finding spirituality outside of that setting.

Personal growth

Intimacy (vs privacy)

Community

A metavalue; valuing others who share your values

Important to know what your values are and what those of your community are to know whether it’s a good fit

If a conflict in values are present:

Accept paying the “price of admission” to be part of the community and tolerate the difference

Examine your values, and decide whether yours should change

Choose not to be a part of the community, and find a community that is a better fit for you

Chase Wolf: Notes on changes in the Gamer Community values and the impacts thereof.

Self-expression

Fulfillment

Truth

Justice

Knowledge (based in curiosity, as opposed to fear of the unknown)

Chase Wolf: Notes on his curiosity in understanding the ABDL/Baby-Fur community allowing a shift in opinion

Having fear-based values is not necessarily a bad thing, but as a general rule, happier people tend to hold more consciousness-based values than fear-based values

Chase Wolf: Often, fear-based values are those instilled in us by friends, family, and society.

Choosing Your Values

Think of each new moment as a fresh opportunity to decide who you want to be; the greatest freedom is the freedom of choice

“It is better to follow the voice inside and be at war with the whole world, than to follow the ways of the world and be at war with your deepest self” - Counselor and educator Michael Pastore

What are your values?

What situations or conflicts make you highly emotional, either positively or negatively?

Think about what value was respected in the situations that made you feel positively

Think about what value was not respected in the situations that made you feel negatively

Empowering questions to ask yourself:

What am I unwilling to tolerate?

What am I unwilling to give up?

What recharges my batteries?

What really makes me feel excited?

What experiences or activities have the most meaning for me?

Why do I “need” the things I tell myself I need?

When do I compromise my values? Why?

What keeps me going when times get tough?

Where is there a gap between who I am and who I really know myself to be?

Why choose new values?

When different values conflict with one another

Reconciling values with a relationship partner or a community

When acting according to a certain value just doesn’t feel right

When you realize a value is coming from outside, and isn’t something you really care about

When a particular value is constantly transgressed, to the point that it is draining your energy and emotional bandwidth

When failing to live up to a value is causing you great deals of shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, or fear

How Chase changed his values to serve him better

How changes in Chase’s values allowed him to overcome issues in his life

Values Assessment Tool

https://www.dropbox.com/s/qg8hegtswsullwk/Values%20Assessment.doc?dl=0

Feedback

None for this week

Question(s)

Subject: Mates now metamours

My two mates recently broke up with each other leaving me in the middle. One mate is desperately clinging to me and the other is constantly offering advice on how to keep my other relationship healthy. How do I just let things happen without the other thinking they had a hand in it?

Received via contact form (anonymous)

Closer

Contact info

Contact Viro:

t.me/viroscicollie

twitter.com/viroscicollie

Contact Chase:

twitter.com/Chase_WolfBTG

wolf4life.bandcamp.com

Feral Attraction Twitter:

twitter.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Facebook:

facebook.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Contact Page:

feralattraction.com/contact

Coaching Services now available!

As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro or Metriko in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!

For more information, visit feralattraction.com/coaching.

Other business

Patreon

Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

FA 105 Choosing Your Values - Choosing your values; what are values, where do they come from, and how do we choose the values that will support what we most want to experience in life?
Categories: Podcasts

FA 104 Sexual Roles - Is FOSTA good? Are sexual roles dynamic? Can you have your cake and eat it too? Can Metriko make it through his last episode without messing up the Patreon shoutouts? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Thu 29 Mar 2018 - 18:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week with a discussion on FOSTA. This is an American bill that is soon to become law that is having a chilling effect on how we use the internet, and the impacts are being felt worldwide. We discuss what the bill is, why it's ten types of awful, and how this impacts the furry fandom. We at Feral Attraction would encourage those who feel so inclined to visit the Electronic Frontier Foundation to learn even more and find ways you can resist this awful legislation. 

Our main topic is on sexual roles. We go over the different axes that are present when it comes to sexual determination and how everything is fluid and in motion. We talk about how the persona you portray becomes your truth and the beacon by which you attract people in your life, how pretense is prologue and determines the lifestyle that you lead, and why it's not a bad idea to experiment with your sexual roles. 

We close out this episode with a question on poly and friendship. Our questioner is interested in a poly relationship with one of his friend's husband, but his friend doesn't want that. How can he keep his new romantic attachment and his friend? Spoiler alert: he probably can't. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks for everything everyone and, as always, be well!

FA 104 Sexual Roles - Is FOSTA good? Are sexual roles dynamic? Can you have your cake and eat it too? Can Metriko make it through his last episode without messing up the Patreon shoutouts? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 103 Life Transitions - Can you fight fair in a relationship? Can you hasten the rate of change? Should you hurry love? No... you just gotta wait! All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Thu 22 Mar 2018 - 18:00

Hello everyone!

We open this week with a discussion on to best mediate conflicts in relationships. While this is a topic that we've covered before we wanted to present an alternate take from one of the main contributors from PolyWeekly, LustyGuy, as he offers his views on how to fight fair in a relationship to ensure everyone has the maximum potential to "win".

Our main topic is on transitions. During the course of last week's episode we discovered that this was a topic that we both wanted to delve into, so here we are. We talk about what the more common transitions that we will face in life are, and the ways we can best broach them, prepare for them, and thrive from them. 

We close out this week's show with a question about compatibility. Our questioner keeps dating guys that he discovers aren't compatible with him once they start dating. Is this a question of romantic connection, vulnerability, or of being true to yourself? 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. 

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 103 Life Transitions - Can you fight fair in a relationship? Can you hasten the rate of change? Should you hurry love? No... you just gotta wait! All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 102 Maintaining Independence in a Relationship - When do you deserve love? When should you declare independence? When is the opposite of a lack of motivation a bad thing? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Thu 15 Mar 2018 - 19:09

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on our appearance on the wonderful podcast, Life on the Swingset. You can hear us talk about ethical non-monogamy in the fandom on Episode 317 BY CLICKING HERE or by visiting their website, lifeontheswingset.com

We also talk about why loving someone else isn't always enough to make love happen. We go over why unrequited love can often feel so strong and certain yet it goes absolutely nowhere. 

Our main topic is on how to maintain independence in a relationship. We talk about why it's important to do so, what happens when you become codependent, and ways to practice independent living.

We close out the show with a question of mismatched motivation drives in a relationship. Is this a relationship killer, or can this be overcome?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. 

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 102 Maintaining Independence in a Relationship - When do you deserve love? When should you declare independence? When is the opposite of a lack of motivation a bad thing? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 101 Stale Relationships

Thu 8 Mar 2018 - 19:00

Hello everyone!

We open this week's show with an exciting announcement about our upcoming guest appearance on the Life on the Swingset podcast! Thanks again to our lovely hosts for inviting us-- we had a blast and please feel free to stop by our show anytime!

We also discuss the latest comic from OhJoySexToy that focuses on discovering polyamory and the mistakes that people often encounter.

Our main topic this week is on Stale Relationships. We discuss what makes a relationship stale, how to reinvigorate a relationship that's gotten routine, and how to identify if it's even a relationship that is salvageable. 

We close out the show with some feedback on Episode 071 concerning our advice to the questioner on real life appearance vs online presence and a question from our Telegram chat (salut Tiyu) that asks whether or not a quarter-life furry crisis is something that people go through within our fandom.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. 

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 101 Stale Relationships
Categories: Podcasts

FA 100 Difficult Decisions - Social commentary! Difficult decisions! No listener question? Our 100th Episode SPECIAL!

Thu 1 Mar 2018 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's episode with an actual retrospective of the show. As it is our 100th episode we wanted to take some time to reflect on the show. We talk about why we started the show, how we've grown in doing the show, and how we've seen the fandom (and culture in general) change in the two years we've been doing the show. We then talk about the future of the show and our personal futures and what plans we have coming up.

We then launch into the main topic for this week, difficult decisions. In an average day we make 70 active decisions, and oftentimes we find ourselves overburdened with the choices we make. Metriko talks about his decision making process and how he's worked to improve and streamline it to be manageable and more helpful than stressful.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. 

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 100 Difficult Decisions - Social commentary! Difficult decisions! No listener question? Our 100th Episode SPECIAL!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 099.5 Active Listening and Maintaining Empathy - Is porn a good teacher for sex? Is talking the talk good enough to maintain empathy? Santorum strikes when you least expect it! All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 14 Feb 2018 - 19:00

Hello everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion our panel on TFF. We then launch into a conversation about a recent article from the New York Times about how porn might be causing harm in the approach teenagers have toward sexual encounters. We discuss whether or not porn should be expected to be an educator for sex and what we can do better on a societal level.

Our main topic is on Active Listening and Maintaining Empathy. We've had many episodes on how to use nonviolent communication. This is only half of the equation, and that you must employ active listening skills in order to maintain empathy and find a way to bridge the divide between perspectives. We also talk about the terrifying concept that we as people can be fallible and oftentimes are the ones who are causing stress in a relationship, and how we can employ active listening to lower our barriers and identify ways to communicate and reciprocate everyone's wants and needs in a relationship.

We close out the show with a question on anal-- a top is concerned with the amount of Santorum produced when he has sex with his fuck buddy. How can he talk to his friend with benefits about douching before dicking?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 099.5 Active Listening and Maintaining Empathy - Is porn a good teacher for sex? Is talking the talk good enough to maintain empathy? Santorum strikes when you least expect it! All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 099 Protecting Your Online Identity - Cuckolding! InfoSec! Terror at 1GB U/D. Polyquads! All this and more on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 31 Jan 2018 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on recent studies into cuckolding. A recent article in CNN goes through the potential benefits of cuckolding as researched in an academic article co-authored by friend of the show and agony uncle expert, Dan Savage!

Our main topic is on protecting your online identity. We bring on our friend, Soatok (https://twitter.com/SoatokDhole) who is an expert on Information Security, and he leads us on a terrifying discussion on how insecure your information online might be and ways you can mitigate against having anything stolen.

We close out the show with a question on poly-quads. While triads are more popular and accessible for people in the poly community, what happens when two couples get together to form a quad? Is it swinging or something more?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 099 Protecting Your Online Identity - Cuckolding! InfoSec! Terror at 1GB U/D. Polyquads! All this and more on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 098 All Questions Show Vol 9 - Vacations! Panels! Dick chafing! Questions of roleplay and libido. All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 24 Jan 2018 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to our first episode of 2018! Thank you for your continued support this year and we hope that this is a year filled with love and laughter for you and yours.

We open this week's discussion with a review of 2018 so far. We briefly touch on Further Confusion and our panel and party there, and have a brief discussion of our respective vacations, cover bands, and how we use the support we get from our Patrons in order to grow our event schedule and make it out to more panel opportunities.

We then shift into our ninth all questions show! We've received a ton of email during our time away and we wanted to address some of the backlog. We go over questions ranging from long distance libido, sexual insecurity, and how to stop chafing your junk when you dry hump. It's a sexy question time this week on Feral Attraction!

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 098 All Questions Show Vol 9 - Vacations! Panels! Dick chafing! Questions of roleplay and libido. All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 097 Journaling and Self Reflection - How can you an intentional, well-rounded life? This, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Thu 28 Dec 2017 - 07:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a reflection of our year. We talk about the show, areas we want to improve in the year to come, and the important highlights in our lives. We find it's important to look at the good moments and find ways to cultivate more of them moving forward, especially in a year that was difficult for many of our listeners.

Our main topic is a continuation on our yearly retrospective: journaling and self reflection. We talk about how and why we journal, and detail two different styles that are commonly used: Bullet Journaling and Emotional Intelligence Journaling. We go through the strengths of both styles and how these can be used to focus your life, focus your strengths, and aid you in living an intentional, uninhibited life.

As this is the final show of the year we at Feral Attraction wish you and those in your life a 2018 that is fulfilled with love and laughter. We will be back in Mid-January with our first episode of Season 3.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 097 Journaling and Self Reflection - How can you an intentional, well-rounded life? This, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 096 Cuckolding and Hotwifeing - Is Twitter good for social anxiety? Do cucks exist or are they a figment of Trump supporters? Can you be ethically selfish in a relationship? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 20 Dec 2017 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion of social media and health. During the end of the year it can be a time of social anxiety and depression, especially for those of us encountering the cold, dark, winter months. We talk about a recent study that shows how social media can be used as a means of finding support but cautions about what can happen when that support becomes your sole means of communication.

Our main topic this week is on Cuckholding and Hotwifeing. While you might refer to Hotwifeing as Hothusbanding or Hotspousing, we tend to use Hotwifeing but mean it in a neutral fashion. We talk about the differences between Cuckholding and Hotwifeing, how to safely and sanely get involved in either, and what the ultimate risks for this kink are. We also touch on the fun part of "why do people enjoy humiliation". This is a fun discussion about an often ridiculed and misunderstood portion of the kink community with serious undertones of the dangerous elements involved when you introduce a bull into the china shop that is your relationship.

We close out the show with a question on selfishness: our questioner is worried and feels guilty whenever they act in selfishness in their relationship. Should they be more selfless, or is there a way to practice ethical selfishness without turning into Ayn Rand?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

As a programming note next week will be our last episode of the year and we will be taking the first two weeks of 2018 off for vacation and business related travels. 

Thanks and, as always, be well! 

FA 096 Cuckolding and Hotwifeing - Is Twitter good for social anxiety? Do cucks exist or are they a figment of Trump supporters? Can you be ethically selfish in a relationship? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 095 All Questions Show Vol 8 - MFF! Questions! A show that was meant to be 1:20:00 that goes on for an extra hour! All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction

Wed 13 Dec 2017 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion of MFF. We wanted to talk about our panel, our party, what went right, and what the plans moving forward for future conventions will be. As MFF is now the world's largest furry convention we wanted to spend a little bit of time talking about it and having Viro share his experiences in lieu of a serious top of the show.

We then dive headfirst into our eighth all questions show. We cover topics from choosing between potential lovers, to divorce, to handling jealousy when your partners find more sexual outlets than you do in your open, polyamorous relationship. We also open up a bit about our lives and ways that we've overcome obstacles that many of our questioners are currently facing.

We close out the show with some feedback from the questioner in Episode 094 as well as a voicemail feedback on topics discussed in Episode 093.

A minor correction: Metriko talks about a strip club in Tampa named 2001 Odyssey, however in the episode he refers to it as Sex Odyssey 3000. Mea culpa.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 095 All Questions Show Vol 8 - MFF! Questions! A show that was meant to be 1:20:00 that goes on for an extra hour! All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction
Categories: Podcasts

FA 094 Sexual Etiquette - Cuckholding! Sex Toys! Sexual Etiquette. Having sex to the Pokemon theme song. All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction.

Wed 29 Nov 2017 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on a comic concerning cuckholding from Oh Joy Sex Toy! We go over what cuckholding is and why there has been heightened focus on people who are cucks within the past few years. What starts out as a lighthearted discussion almost turned into a full episode's worth of content. Stay tuned for a future show on cuckholding because we have a lot to say on this topic!

Our main topic is on Sexual Etiquette. While we've discussed more of the varsity ideals of sex, we realized that we had not had a talk about the basics. An oversight on our behalf has turned into a discussion of best practices, of things you can ask, look for, and try to do. We talk about mistakes we've made, ways we've learned, and whether or not you should "superman that hoe". 

We close out the show with a question on breaking up. Our questioner has more to lose than romance if he breaks up with his boyfriend-- should he keep in a relationship he wants to end in order to keep the additional benefits? 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 094 Sexual Etiquette - Cuckholding! Sex Toys! Sexual Etiquette. Having sex to the Pokemon theme song. All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction.
Categories: Podcasts

FA 093 Family Relationships - Is weed bad for sex? Are families only good with weed? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 15 Nov 2017 - 19:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on marijuana and sex drive. Conventional wisdom says that the more you smoke pot the less likely you are to be active at anything, sex included. However, recent studies show that daily users of pot tend to have more sex than average. We discuss why this might be and why more research is needed.

Our main topic is on family. During the holiday season a lot of us will be returning home to visit family, friends, and other people we grew up with. As young adults (or burgeoning adults) we have to begin to transition our mindset from that of a child to that of an independent adult. How can we accomplish this in a way that is ethical and empathetic. 

You also might be in the position of being a teenager living at home. How can you work with your parents to find a way to meet your wants while also meeting their needs? 

We close out the show with some feedback on reduced cost mental health services and a question on how to handle an abusive parent when you are a younger teen. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 093 Family Relationships - Is weed bad for sex? Are families only good with weed? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 092 Porn and Self-pleasure in a Relationship - Is stoicism being a Vulcan? Is porn destructive to a relationship? Can you find love on Grindr? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Thu 2 Nov 2017 - 04:49

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's episode with a discussion on stoicism. On the show we've often discussed the tenants of stoicism in a general sense, however we recently found an article that we thought would be a great introduction for people who want to learn more about this school of thought. We talk about our lives and how we've grown from being more stoic in our approach to the hardships of life.

Our main topic is on porn and masturbation. One of the common pitfalls that relationships can encounter is the usage of porn or of self-stimulation without your mate(s) being around or being aware. We talk about when to discuss porn usage, how to discuss it, and why porn and masturbation may not, in itself, be the villain it is often made out to be.

We close out the show with a question on finding romantic love. Our questioner wants a relationship but he can't find one using the apps he has. Is he looking for love in all the wrong places, or is he perhaps wrong in how he is approaching it. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 092 Porn and Self-pleasure in a Relationship - Is stoicism being a Vulcan? Is porn destructive to a relationship? Can you find love on Grindr? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 091 Communication / NVC ability Mismatches - How bad is YOUR anxiety? How great are you at talking? Is young love forever? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 25 Oct 2017 - 18:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion of a recent article in the New York Times concerning the rise of anxiety amongst American youth. We look at recent studies done that try to explain the sources of anxiety that we face in the modern day, as well as ways we can work to counteract it in our everyday lives.

Our main topic is on Communication Mismatches. After a discussion in our Telegram group concerning relationships where communication styles are not complementary (especially in regard to Nonviolent Communication), we wanted to go over this in more detail. What are the more common types of communication styles, how can they be improved on, and what do you do in a relationship where the communication styles are so different the relationship turns combative more often than not.

We close out the show with a question on breaking up. A younger questioner is blocked from talking to his boyfriend by potentially homophobic parents. Should he break up or not? 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 091 Communication / NVC ability Mismatches - How bad is YOUR anxiety? How great are you at talking? Is young love forever? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts

FA 090 Getting a Derailed Convention Back on Track - Are video games useful for sex ed? How many ways can a convention be ruined? Do you deserve love? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Wed 18 Oct 2017 - 18:00

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on video games and sex ed. Is there room for crafted video games and smart phone apps that target vulnerable teenagers who may not have the best access to a sex-positive education about sexual health?

Our main topic is on getting a derailed convention back on track. Over the past two weeks we have discussed how to get to a con and what to do at a con: this week is all about what to do when something goes wrong at a con. We talk about mitigation strategies for commonly encountered issues from injury, hangover, hotel room issues, travel delays, and more. It's a conversational show as we talk about situations we've been in personally and ways that we have overcome them.

We close out the show with feedback on volunteering at a convention and a question on seeking love when you believe yourself to be undeserving of affection.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

 

FA 090 Getting a Derailed Convention Back on Track - Are video games useful for sex ed? How many ways can a convention be ruined? Do you deserve love? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Categories: Podcasts