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Author: Chipotle

So long story short. Age difference 4 years. Met him online about 2 years ago. Been friends for 1 year and a half (time in which we both had our bfs and so the chat was always from both parts and shared stuff both, we happen to disagree and we r quite different; I know, a lot of background and stuff). We got in a relationship 6 months ago. He's never insisted on money, on the contrary, actually. I was the one to bring sex into discussion. He said he'd wait. We talk on phone, texts, webcam a lot. I know part of his family. We exchange pics quite often, talk a lot. He gave me his accounts on various sites, even paid ones. And I really wanna meet him, but I got worried and told him about an ex-predator I dated and asked him if he was like that (dumb thing to do cause he got hurt and pretty sad). Said I don't trust him and I think of him as a criminal, also that he understands now why I want to bring my friend along if we meet (they argued). That's the only red flag I had so far. We won't meet soon, and if we do he'll be the one visiting me. I'm just curious. I really care for him and my instinct tells me he's not dangerous, but since I had an online predator already I spotted the red flag and thought to ask. 

Thanks a lot.

Clementine.

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Dear Clementine,

Reading your letter, Papabear's gut instinct is that he is not a predator, and I think that matches your instinct as well. I had another furry write me a while back in which I did suspect predatory behavior, as there was a bigger age difference and other behaviors that sent up red flags. I told that writer to trust her gut, which was sending warning messages. Yours is telling you differently. You should not assume this person could be a predator just because you had that experience with someone else.

That said, you are wise to be cautious. Meet this person first in a public place with lots of people around. Get to know them better and then proceed from there.

In this crazy world, you never know what you're going to get. You can be too cautious and thus deny yourself what could be healthy and happy relationships, or you can be too reckless and get hurt. Try to achieve a balance. Be open to having new people in your life, but don't do something silly like go to someone's house alone and at night by yourself. This is just what used to be called "common sense," but I now call "good sense" since it no longer seems common.

Good luck! Be safe. Hugs.

Papabear 

Alright, I am no artist but I know a lot of you are amazing artist! I am wanting a picture of a furry stile dog (Looks like a human, walks like a human but is a dog, it doesn't matter if it is a boy or a girl, sorry I am new to this type of thing) With a red scarf and looks steam punk/waste landish with maybe steam punk goggles?

Thank you if you reply to this and maybe draw my request!

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Author: actfuronair Download Standard Podcasts http://actfuronair.podbean.com/mf/feed/mcbev2/ActFur_S4_Ep7_Metaphurs_Lowfi.mp3 Find the full article here: ACTfur On Air This podcast may contain coarse language and adult themes. It is being provided as a service and is not the property of Furry News Network ActFur OnAir: ActFur s4 ep7 – Metaphurs

I SUCK at drawing, and so does my friend. And I wanna surprise him with a picture of his Hybrid Fursona thing according to him, I would also like my Furson drawn, his is a Husky, just the tails and ears. Mine, is an Arctic Fox. :3 So if someone could please draw these, it would be awesome.

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Looks like we have a new con to spin our furry heads towards. Check out the all new “FangCon” opening up Oct 26th in none other than Nashville, TN. They got themselves some cool perks for bigger members and a music GOH Rhubarb The Bear, who has been known to give great musical performances. As an up coming con owner (soon I hope) it can be hard to get these newer cons up and running if you don’t have the “our con is better” motto. So let’s hope that Nashville, TN home to some of the greatest country music stars in the world will make this con rock. Check out the site here and heck if you don’t go this year, maybe you’ll make the next? Will it be a flop or will it rock? Comment below what you think.

Tomorrow marks the start of Oklacon, a large outdoor furry convention held in Oklahoma. Both the con, and our show are a fun-filled, tail-wagging, ear-perking experience.

Stuff we talked about:

• Oklacon

Hosts: Levi, Soren, Wolfin
Picture by: Karunakar Rayker

Daily Show: October 16, 2012 - Tomorrow marks the start of Oklacon, a large outdoor furry convention held in Oklahoma. Both the con, and our show are a fun-filled, tail-wagging, ear-perking experience. - Stuff we talked about: Oklacon - Hosts: Levi, Soren, Wolfin

Author: Fred Flash! Phil Geusz abandons writing anthropomorphic fiction; switches to military s-f to dramatically increase sales. Featuring genengineered rabbit- and dog-morph soldiers. Phil Geusz and Legion Publishing have chosen an unusual format in which to publish the adventures of David Birkenhead. Instead of publishing them together as three or more novels, they are putting [...]

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Author: Jace Inugami One of the newest furry conventions, Fangcon, opens its doors Oct. 26th to its awaiting audience. Located in Nashville, Tenn., the event’s theme is: Musicals: Opening Night! This will really come out when Rhubarb the Bear performs as the con’s Musical Guest of Honor. This bear has brought a few musicals to [...]

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Author: GreenReaper The NPR-affiliated Colin McEnroe Show has posted a 50-minute segment on furry fandom. Guests and callers included fandom members Chiaroscuro, TabbieWolf, Ian, Camo Husky, and Grubbs Grizzly, along with law/psychiatry lecturer Dr. Leslie Lothstein. [tip: Fenris Lorsrai] Colin writes for the Hartford Courant, which recently reported on fursuit-related library rules. Much of the [...]

We need help with math and flowcharts mainly, but still help. And quite a bit of it. http://us5.chatzy.com/32087759305605 is the dev/discussion chat. Come if you have the time, I will be there, along with the gamemaster.

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Author: Fred This year’s 12th Waterloo Festival for Animated Cinema, on November 15–18, 2012 at The Crysalids Theatre, 137 Ontario Street North, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, will include Mamoru Hosoda’s The Wolf Children, along with more than eleven other animated features unreleased in North America. The list includes the 2012 Danish Marco Macaco (trailer) by director [...]

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Dear Papa Bear,

I am a 19 year old transgender, going from male to female. For as long as I can remember I have never thought of myself as a boy only a girl (to the point when I would play pretend I would always be the girl) and I know the operation would make me happy, but I have met great hostility from my friends about it, and I want to tell my parents but fear the same reaction. I don’t know what to do cause I know they will need to know one day but I don’t want to lose them or be treated by them like some of my friends have.

--Bastet

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Dear Bastet,

As my regular readers know by now, Papabear has written several replies to furries and gay people about coming out to parents and family (you can read  my responses by clicking here: http://www.askpapabear.com/1/category/coming%20out%20furry/1.html). While being transgendered is a different issue, the principle remains the same: whether you are thinking of getting an operation to change your sex, discovering you are gay, coming out furry, deciding you wish to practice a different religion, or whatever it might be—it is all about the fear of being oneself when doing so means going against what you have been taught is “correct” or “right” or “moral” or “what the family does.”

Whether or not one should be open about who you are depends on your assessment of your own family—whether they are open-minded and kind, or close-minded, ignorant, dominating, and cruel. Only you can make that initial assessment, and, afterwards, make the logical decision, which is not being open if you feel the backlash is going to cause you harm, and going ahead and being open if you have loving, caring parents and family who you know will love you no matter what.

The important thing to remember here, Bastet, is to avoid the pitfall of basing your own self-worth on external opinions. In other words, in your case, don’t decide not to go forward with the operation because someone else tells you it is wrong for some reason. You have said that you know it will make you happy, and so Papabear encourages you to go forward with your plans if that is possible for you to do. It might hurt you that your “friends” oppose it, and even wound you emotionally if your parents do, too, but the alternative is for you to be unhappy in your own skin for the rest of your life. 

If I were you, that last choice would make me even more miserable. I can say that out of my own experience. While I’m not getting a sex change operation, figuring out that I was gay at the age of 40 was emotionally painful for me. It turned my world completely upside down. I had to end my marriage to someone I loved because of that, and it broke my heart, but I would have been even more miserable if I had spent the rest of my life pretending I was something I was not.

Life can be a difficult road, no doubt about it. But the only way our lives can count for something is if we live them as we truly are. Otherwise, the entire journey is a lie and has no point.

I cannot make the ultimate choice for you, Bastet, but I hope my words offer a little insight.

Hugs,

Papabear