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Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
First, I'd like to thank you for having this column, am sure you hear it a lot in every letter you receive, but still, my upbringing instills that I express such gratitude. Enough about you, about me.
I have a dilemma I've been dealing with for the past couple years, hope you can provide a direction for me go, I'm truly lost at what I should do. Obviously, the right thing. I've been in a relationship with my current partner for about 13 years, and it's been great up til the past 3. That's when things started to really go downhill. Over that time, my anxiety is worse than it ever has been, and all he did was bury himself in his video games. I've turned to my furry friends for support, and they've been there a lot better than my partner, which I am so grateful for. The connection between me and my partner has practically gone to nothing, all because he's been playing those games. Meanwhile, I immerse myself into the fandom, where I have love and support, away from him. In that process, I cheated on my partner with others in this quest for affection. I think I'm finally finding the right person for me, but all of a sudden, my partner is either getting jealous of my time with my friends, now trying to make things work. I just feel it's too late for that, and I want to settle down with this new person, that I've found and started bonding with the past 9 months. My question to you is how can I break off this old relationship for this new one without offending my old partner.. I mean, am willing still to be friends, I just don't love anymore (or, shall I say, in love with him). I'm just so burned from the lack of respect from him, but I don’t want to hurt him either.. But then I didn't help my cause by cheating on him either. I just don’t want to be unhappy anymore. and don't want to be this way 15 years down the road.. what shall I do?
Anonymous
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Dear Anonymous,
You have a right to be happy, as does your mate. Reading your letter, it is clear that your mind is made up to break up with your current mate and have a go at your new relationship, so I wish you well in your new romantic endeavor, although I do have one question: could it be that your partner has a serious game addiction problem? And did you try and resolve it? Or is he just using games to avoid talking to you and being with you?
Because I don’t have that information, I will proceed by assuming he does not have a game addiction problem and the issue is your relationship.
The question currently on your plate, then, is how to politely break up with your current mate without hurting his feelings. It sounds like he is just now getting the idea that the two of you are on the skids and that is why he is acting jealously, which sounds to me like he really doesn’t want to lose you and his behavior over the last couple of years has been—most likely—symptomatic of his taking you for granted. So, this probably won’t be an easy break-up, as you yourself seem to realize.
You both are responsible for what is about to happen: he is because of how he has ignored you, and you are because you might not have tried enough to revive his feelings for you before cheating on him.
The best thing you can do in any break-up is be honest with your partner. Tell him exactly what you have told me, that you just feel the magic and love has gone out of your relationship and that you want to move on—as friends, if possible, but either way you now want to be with your new partner. You might ease his hurt somewhat by telling him how much he means to you still and how wonderful the first ten years have been, but you feel you have grown apart. Tell him you don’t really want to place blame on anyone and that he will always be special to you.
This can work. I know, because I did the same thing with my first partner with whom I had a twenty-one year relationship. Both of us grew a lot during that time—heck, we were just out of college when we married and were little more than kids. It was extremely painful to break up, but we were both different people (me more so than her, perhaps), and, after a couple of hard years, we remain good friends.
It’s wonderful that you are not bitter about this and that you want to have what I would call a very mature break-up. If you talk to him, being very mindful of the truth and of his feelings, there is a good chance you can remain friends, at least, and that is a very valuable thing to have.
Good Luck,
Papabear
Interview: Rukis reflects on ‘Unconditional’
Heh. I shall convert all of 4chan to gfur. >:D
LOLCats r in ur artificial intelligenz… and now ur cities
Review: ‘Red Lantern: The Crimson Divine’, by Rukis and AlectorFencer
Gamma Scientific Belfort DigiWx SHIT, Perverts & Pedophiles
evidenced by mention of the DigiWx AWOS on their corporate homepage
sold to:
Pakistan
•Lahore International Airport (LHE/OPLA) RVR System, Lahore Pakistan
And then there is word of this:
During the first two weeks of January 2007, U.S. air strikes targeted
Well written stories, without the yiff?
I'm an avid reader, and I love the fandom for the amazingly creative worlds that some furs can create. Only one problem I'm having is that a lot of stories are focused entirely on furs getting shagged. Its sexy and hot, but can get old after awhile when its the only thing I can find. I can enjoy tasteful sex that lends itself to a greater story, but I'm looking for something better.
Anybody have some stories or story series that don't focus entirely on the sex?
submitted by CoyoteCookie[link] [17 comments]
029 - Tarantino's Little Mermaid - This ep, we talk about kissing beards, the movie Ted, Quentin Tarantino's Little Mermaid, Anthrop...
029 - Tarantino's Little Mermaid - This ep, we talk about kissing beards, the movie Ted, Quentin Tarantino's Little Mermaid, Anthrop...
New Tail for sale and mini tail key chains.
I've just finished my latest premade tail. You can find the picture and info here
I could also use some input on my mini tail key chain that I'd like to start doing. This is the first one I've made.
I'd like some input on the size (to big?) and pricing. I was thinking 5$ - 10$ and them maybe giving them away free to commission customers, perhaps miniatures of their full sized tail that they order. I'd like to get a little feed back on these before I officially offer them up for sale.
EDIT:
Completed a smaller version. Here
This is how I think i will do the pricing.
- 8 Inch Minis - Free to commission customers 8$ regular price including shipping
- 5 inch minis - Free to commission / premade customers 4$ regular price including shipping
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Dreamworks-Land?
Interesting news making the rounds yesterday: Dreamworks Animation have inked a deal with the developer Triple Five to bring a 14-plus acre indoor theme park to Meadowlands, New Jersey. Here’s the scoop: Triple Five (who built the successful Mall of America entertainment complex in Minneapolis, Minnesota) took over the development of a large 5-story shopping and entertainment center complex built near the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. Originally called Xanadu, the project has remained vacant and un-used since 2009 after having gone way over budget. Now re-named American Dream, the plan is for the new property to include an indoor theme park featuring thrill rides, dark rides, walk-about characters, and shows all based on Dreamworks animated films. The New York Times has the story on-line. The governor of New Jersey was hoping that the project would be complete by early 2014, when Met Life Stadium will be hosting the Superbowl, but for now it’s looking like American Dream won’t open until later that year.
And with that, we’ll see you again after San Diego Comic Con!
image c. 2012 Dreamworks Animation
Episode VIII
Disturbing Revelation: SDCC Bans Strollers, But Pedobear & Furries Are Still Allowed Inside
http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2012/07/11/disturbing-revelation-sdcc-bans-strollers-but-pedobear-furries-are-still-allowed-inside/
Not to get everyone riled up, but San Diego Comic-Con International’s management team just sent out a bulk email informing attendees of this year’s show that strollers (both regular and jogging) are no longer allowed within most areas of the convention space.
Meanwhile, dudes creepily dressed as Pedobear and… creatures dressed as furies will be allowed in without so much as a second thought by convention security.
I wonder if the management considered that, without a means of strapping the young’uns into a cloth prison with wheels, there is a good possibility that the number of wandering children on the convention floor will multiply exponentially. Obviously, I don’t have to explain to anyone reading why the Pedobear cosplayers are likely giddy with excitement by this development. But the problem of those goddamn Yiffing furies in this scenario is worth an explanation.
See, kids usually identify adults wearing big cuddly fuzzy costumes as friendly animals that are coincidentally also found within Disney theme parks. That means there’s a good change that the kids will dart over and start hugging anyone that fits this description. It’s pretty disgusting to think about the last time any of those fury costumes were dry cleaned for… um… really evil stains, but you’re also putting those kids at risk of contracting herpatigitus A, B, and C, as well as lord knows what else.
Not only is this gross, but it’s irresponsible to do something that will actually increase the number of kiddos wandering around the convention space.
So seriously Comic-Con management (and San Diego Fire Marshall), think of the children.
Also, be sure to check out Geeks of Doom’s SDCC 2012 coverage all week.