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My first attempt at making a mask! It's for a friend's birthday. I hope it fits her :3
Categories: News
Furry Is Depressed Because Plans to Leave Home Didn't Work Out
I'm not sure how to start this, but let me see what I can do. Lately I've been feeling really down, mostly because of parents, whether it be my own or others. What I mean by that is, I had plans to move out and with a friend in like August, but his father refuses to let him live on his own. As for my parents, the best way I would describe them would be "control-freaks." No matter what I do, whether "secretly" or not, they always have to know what I am doing. And also lately, one of them said they want me to work more because the other parent's job has been going downhill lately. Which makes it sound like they plan on using MY hard earned money. I still plan on moving out, just to a different place now and with a different friend. I will admit that I have gone down the "road" of suicide once, and once I didn't do it, I told myself I would not do it again. Lately however, With the amount of depression lately, mostly from that move plan not working out, I feel like I could snap at any second. So my question is, what should I do to make sure I can "Stay in one piece"?
Thanks in advance,
Kumi
* * *
Dear Kumi,
Well, first of all, I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and your friend. There could be a reason his father doesn’t want his son to live alone or even with a roommate, but lack of information prevents my speculation on this part, so let’s move on to your parents. Kumi, they may seem like “control freaks” but good parents want to know what their children are up to, and when you try to do things “secretly” and they find out about it, they then have reason to believe you are not being honest with them and that makes them pry into your life even more. The reason parents do this is not to make your life a living hell; it is because they care about you and don’t want something bad to happen to you. (When you should be worried is when your parents don't give a damn what you're doing--then there's a problem). If you want to have a better relationship with your parents, then be 100% open with them about what you are up to, what you are thinking, and how you are feeling. Good parents care about all of that and are there to help you.
Helping each other doesn’t just go from parent to child, but also from child to parent (shocker!)
ALL members of a family—true, functioning families—love and support and try to help each other. So, now one of your parents is having trouble with work and is earning less, and you feel resentful that they are asking you to work more to help out. You feel it is “MY ... money.” Well, considering that it costs $235,000 to raise a child to 18 in the United States today, on average, and that is NOT counting college, perhaps you might want to repay the favor a little bit?
None of what you have written in your letter is all that horrible, Kumi, and I think you need to take a deep breath and gain a little perspective. No one close to you has died or is gravely ill, you are not horribly sick or disabled, you do not have abusive parents, you have not lost the love of your life, you are not homeless, you have food to eat and clothes to wear.
I will not make light of your depression, however. If you are truly feeling depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, you need to talk to someone about it. You might, for example, have a treatable medical condition that could be alleviated with prescriptions, but you would need to see a psychiatrist to determine that. If you don’t feel like you can go to your parents with this, then you need to find someone else. There are many suicide hotlines out there, and there are also groups like Boys’ Town (www.boystown.com) that help troubled youth such as yourself. You might do well to seek them out.
Just because your plans of moving out didn’t work is no reason to literally kill yourself. That is the very definition of an overreaction. Calm down, and if you can't calm down, then get some help, hon. There’s no shame in getting help. I’ve done it and many other people have, too, with positive results.
Good luck. Please write again and let me know how things go with you.
Hugs,
Papabear
Thanks in advance,
Kumi
* * *
Dear Kumi,
Well, first of all, I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and your friend. There could be a reason his father doesn’t want his son to live alone or even with a roommate, but lack of information prevents my speculation on this part, so let’s move on to your parents. Kumi, they may seem like “control freaks” but good parents want to know what their children are up to, and when you try to do things “secretly” and they find out about it, they then have reason to believe you are not being honest with them and that makes them pry into your life even more. The reason parents do this is not to make your life a living hell; it is because they care about you and don’t want something bad to happen to you. (When you should be worried is when your parents don't give a damn what you're doing--then there's a problem). If you want to have a better relationship with your parents, then be 100% open with them about what you are up to, what you are thinking, and how you are feeling. Good parents care about all of that and are there to help you.
Helping each other doesn’t just go from parent to child, but also from child to parent (shocker!)
ALL members of a family—true, functioning families—love and support and try to help each other. So, now one of your parents is having trouble with work and is earning less, and you feel resentful that they are asking you to work more to help out. You feel it is “MY ... money.” Well, considering that it costs $235,000 to raise a child to 18 in the United States today, on average, and that is NOT counting college, perhaps you might want to repay the favor a little bit?
None of what you have written in your letter is all that horrible, Kumi, and I think you need to take a deep breath and gain a little perspective. No one close to you has died or is gravely ill, you are not horribly sick or disabled, you do not have abusive parents, you have not lost the love of your life, you are not homeless, you have food to eat and clothes to wear.
I will not make light of your depression, however. If you are truly feeling depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, you need to talk to someone about it. You might, for example, have a treatable medical condition that could be alleviated with prescriptions, but you would need to see a psychiatrist to determine that. If you don’t feel like you can go to your parents with this, then you need to find someone else. There are many suicide hotlines out there, and there are also groups like Boys’ Town (www.boystown.com) that help troubled youth such as yourself. You might do well to seek them out.
Just because your plans of moving out didn’t work is no reason to literally kill yourself. That is the very definition of an overreaction. Calm down, and if you can't calm down, then get some help, hon. There’s no shame in getting help. I’ve done it and many other people have, too, with positive results.
Good luck. Please write again and let me know how things go with you.
Hugs,
Papabear
FCN TIME
Hey guys. Anyone want to have a meet up Friday night at FCN.
submitted by randomjohnson[link] [5 comments]
Categories: News
So after Listening to Some Lapfox I finnaly decided i needed a fursona (http://dasadan.deviantart.com)
Categories: News
KnotCast: Episode 214 – Emailaganza
Author: E-Mail Hidden This week, Savrin, Shiva, and Fuzz are back in action with a load of emails! Use our coupon code ‘knot’ at AdamEve.com for a great deal. Episode 214 – Emailaganza (AAC; 23.7 MB)Episode 214 – Emailaganza (MP3; 43.3 MB) http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.m4a/www.foxstuffers.com/AAC/Episode214-Emailaganza.m4a Find the full article here: KnotCast News The contents of this Podcast [...]
KnotCast: Episode 214 – Emailaganza
Categories: News
Ep. 65 - FCN Preview - We preview FCN, what we'll be doing there, what to expect from the panels, and more! Sorry, we w...
We preview FCN, what we'll be doing there, what to expect from the panels, and more! Sorry, we weren't able to get to listener questions, but join us at our live recording at FCN!
we have a message board/forum! --->
http://www.draggetshow.proboards.com/
Leave us an iTunes review!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dragget-show/id491850337
Check out the highlights! - http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggetShow
Leave us feedback or a question for the next show!
draggetshow@gmail.com
Ep. 65 - FCN Preview - We preview FCN, what we'll be doing there, what to expect from the panels, and more! Sorry, we w...
Categories: Podcasts
Ep. 65 - FCN Preview - We preview FCN, what we'll be doing there, what to expect from the panels, and more! Sorry, we w...
We preview FCN, what we'll be doing there, what to expect from the panels, and more! Sorry, we weren't able to get to listener questions, but join us at our live recording at FCN!
we have a message board/forum! --->
http://www.draggetshow.proboards.com/
Leave us an iTunes review!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dragget-show/id491850337
Check out the highlights! - http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggetShow
Leave us feedback or a question for the next show!
draggetshow@gmail.com
Ep. 65 - FCN Preview - We preview FCN, what we'll be doing there, what to expect from the panels, and more! Sorry, we w...
Categories: Podcasts
Episode 214 - Emailaganza
This week, Savrin, Shiva, and Fuzz are back in action with a load of emails!
Use our coupon code 'knot' at AdamEve.com for a great deal.
Episode 214 - Emailaganza
Categories: Podcasts
FurAffinity Leaks from a Former Admin - Part Two
Categories: News
Transgender Furry Wonders If He Should Go through Surgery
Dear Papabear,
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I recently came upon your column and find what you do here to be fascinating and of great aid to people like myself. That is why I would like your opinion about something important to me.
I am a closet MtF Trangender. I've confided this fact only to only those I really trust. I've been struggling with self identity as a result of this. I've known as I truly a woman since I was about 9 years old. Once, during my teen years, I made the mistake of confiding that information to a psychologist, which unfortunately resulted in my parents learning about it. It did not go over well.
I find it difficult to find balance in my life, knowing that I am essentially forced to live what feels like a stranger's life because I cannot live my own. I know that I have a need that is going unfulfilled and it is the direct result of my gender identity. It is painful to know people only see me as a man when I wish they would see beneath the skin to the woman underneath.
For me, undergoing gender reassignment wouldn't be enough. In some cases, it would be worse. The general public doesn't think fondly of transgendered folks such as myself and the furry fandom isn't that far dissimilar. I long to someday be a true woman, but it leaves me at a major impasse emotionally.
How do I cope with this?
Thank you for all you do, Papabear.
Fondly,
Starlight
* * *
Hi, Starlight,
That’s a lovely name. Although it's upsetting that the psychologist told your parents, I would seriously be surprised if they didn’t know or at least suspect their son was having gender identity issues. Most children don’t think their parents know, but I’d bet $100 that at least your mother knew, if not both parents.
Papabear understands the transgender issue, and I hope my readers do, too. This is a very real condition in which a person feels that his or her physical body does not match up with how he or she feels on the inside. In a way, I think a number of furries feel like they are animal spirits trapped in human form. I feel like this often. Unfortunately for me, I cannot get a humanectomy followed by an ursine transplant. Fortunately for you, Starlight, you can do something about it if you want to.
I understand, too, your reticence to get surgery or hormone therapy, even though it has improved tremendously over the years and has become remarkably effective. You are worried about rejection by society and your family. That is a real possibility. The alternative, though, is to remain painfully unhappy and disoriented in a body that doesn’t match who you are.
This bear is unqualified to help you through that process, so I would like too recommend a website to you that offers resources that could help: PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) at www.pflag.org helps not only homosexuals but also transgender people (http://community.pflag.org/transgender) and offers resources that can help. There are chapters around the country and, hopefully, one near you.
Sometimes it takes courage to find happiness, and the path ahead of you will take courage, indeed, to walk upon. The way you cope with it is by finding people who understand and support you and can be there for you when you need them—and, when you are strong enough, you will be able to return the favor.
Gather that support group around you and even if you stumble down the road you will be able to navigate it to your destiny.
I wish you luck,
Papabear
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I recently came upon your column and find what you do here to be fascinating and of great aid to people like myself. That is why I would like your opinion about something important to me.
I am a closet MtF Trangender. I've confided this fact only to only those I really trust. I've been struggling with self identity as a result of this. I've known as I truly a woman since I was about 9 years old. Once, during my teen years, I made the mistake of confiding that information to a psychologist, which unfortunately resulted in my parents learning about it. It did not go over well.
I find it difficult to find balance in my life, knowing that I am essentially forced to live what feels like a stranger's life because I cannot live my own. I know that I have a need that is going unfulfilled and it is the direct result of my gender identity. It is painful to know people only see me as a man when I wish they would see beneath the skin to the woman underneath.
For me, undergoing gender reassignment wouldn't be enough. In some cases, it would be worse. The general public doesn't think fondly of transgendered folks such as myself and the furry fandom isn't that far dissimilar. I long to someday be a true woman, but it leaves me at a major impasse emotionally.
How do I cope with this?
Thank you for all you do, Papabear.
Fondly,
Starlight
* * *
Hi, Starlight,
That’s a lovely name. Although it's upsetting that the psychologist told your parents, I would seriously be surprised if they didn’t know or at least suspect their son was having gender identity issues. Most children don’t think their parents know, but I’d bet $100 that at least your mother knew, if not both parents.
Papabear understands the transgender issue, and I hope my readers do, too. This is a very real condition in which a person feels that his or her physical body does not match up with how he or she feels on the inside. In a way, I think a number of furries feel like they are animal spirits trapped in human form. I feel like this often. Unfortunately for me, I cannot get a humanectomy followed by an ursine transplant. Fortunately for you, Starlight, you can do something about it if you want to.
I understand, too, your reticence to get surgery or hormone therapy, even though it has improved tremendously over the years and has become remarkably effective. You are worried about rejection by society and your family. That is a real possibility. The alternative, though, is to remain painfully unhappy and disoriented in a body that doesn’t match who you are.
This bear is unqualified to help you through that process, so I would like too recommend a website to you that offers resources that could help: PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) at www.pflag.org helps not only homosexuals but also transgender people (http://community.pflag.org/transgender) and offers resources that can help. There are chapters around the country and, hopefully, one near you.
Sometimes it takes courage to find happiness, and the path ahead of you will take courage, indeed, to walk upon. The way you cope with it is by finding people who understand and support you and can be there for you when you need them—and, when you are strong enough, you will be able to return the favor.
Gather that support group around you and even if you stumble down the road you will be able to navigate it to your destiny.
I wish you luck,
Papabear
We're confusing to /r/ainbow :D
Categories: News
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