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Dear Papabear,

I would like advice on the best way you think is to tell my family I’m a furry.

I’m not worried they’ll shun me or look down on me; I’m more worried they’ll tell me to stop. I have been a furry for six years and can’t think of my life without the fandom, for me I can’t flip a switch and be a non-furry, plus the fandom has almost been like a second family to me. It gave me a furry shoulder to cry on when sad and gave me a fuzzy perked up ear to listen when I needed to say something. I realize some people are probably tired of hearing about the whole “coming out” speech but i enjoy the fandom enough to see that it’s not just a hobby, it’s a part of my life.

Thanks for listening and i eagerly await a reply.

–Breakr

 

Dear Breakr:

This is a great question and one Papabear has come across a lot. As with coming out to a family when you are gay (although you do not mention whether you are gay or straight), it is a delicate situation that you can easily mess up if you take the wrong approach.

A lot depends on what kind of people your parents and other family members are.  Are they open-minded or judgmental?  Have they been supportive of you all your life, or have they treated you poorly?  You don’t really go into details on this, but you DO say that you don’t think they will shun you or look down on you, which is a good sign. Why they would “make you stop” when they seem to be understanding people is another question.

I think part of the problem is that many furries think that others will consider being a furry shameful, as if you are a deviant.  To begin with, you should not approach it this way when you discuss it with your family. If you go into the dialog with the notion that being a furry is no worse than being, say, a Trekkie, then your parents will pick up on this and not think it is so bad at all. If, on the other hand, you have it in your mind that you are a “deviant” this, too, will come across when you talk about it.

Body language is key here. Don’t go into the conversation with your head hung down, looking at your feet, mumbling and acting nervous. Look at them straight in the eye, as if you were asking them about what’s for dinner.

Bad Approach:

“Mom, Dad, have you ever heard about furries? Like, maybe you caught that CSI episode when a bunch of people in animal costumes were having sex? Well, I’m really into that.”

Good Approach:

“Mom, Dad, you know I like fantasy literature and stuff like Disney animated cartoons, right? Well, I really like that stuff, and I have been talking to some people online who also like it. They like to draw anthropomorphic characters—you know, kind of like Dumbo or Bambi—and write stories about them. Some of them call anthropomorphic characters ‘furries’ for short, and we all talk about it online. Anyway, I just wanted to explain that to you so if you see me drawing or writing about furry characters you know what it’s about. I’ve been making some friends online and I would like to also meet them in person. It can get a little goofy sometimes. You know, like a Star Trek fan wearing Spock ears, but instead sometimes my friends will wear animal ears for fun, stuff like that.”

And go on from there.  It’s all in how you approach the subject: act ashamed of it and your family will see that immediately in you and act like you are a drug addict; act nonchalant about it, as if it’s no big deal (which it shouldn’t be), and they will hopefully react to your news just as nonchalantly. Let them ask questions about it, and be honest in your replies. If they ask about “fursuit sex” or something like that, just say, “Well, a lot of these people are teenagers and, just like other teenagers, they might have sex, but that’s not what I’m about. I just like making friends.”

I hope that this helps, Breakr. Papabear is proud of you for being who you are.

Bear Hugs.

Papabear

* * *

Hi Papabear,

I was wondering something for a while. Ever since I joined the Furry fandom in 2009, I’ve been having trouble trying to figure out what kind of fur I am. I know it’s feline, but I’m not sure what race. I’ve figured out White Tiger but… I really don’t know. And I’m kind of tired of changing it so much. It’s gone from pink cat, to cabbit, to leopard, to fox, and now white tiger.

So my question to you is, do you know how someone could discover that part of them?

–Desphiria

 

Hi, Desphiria,

Papabear understands such transitions. When I was a little cub, I was a wolf; then, as a teenager and 20-something, I was a dragon, and now I am a bear.  I believe that many furries change species as they themselves change, which is particularly true as you grow through your teenaged years and discover who you are.

Don’t be upset if you can’t figure it out right away. One thing you can do, though, is learn more about the various species that catch your interest. Do some research on foxes, leopards, tigers, etc., and as you learn more about them you might discover which ones have traits most like your own.

Another, less scientific way is to think about your dreams. When you dream, do you ever dream about certain animals? When you do, do you feel a closer affinity to some rather than others?

You do not have to actually be dreaming, either, to feel a connection to certain species. While I am, of course, a bear, I have learned that I also have some connections to Owl because I’ve had personal experiences with them in my real life. This is not a bad thing. Indeed, if you believe at all in animal spirituality and the Medicine Wheel, it is healthy to balance certain animal aspects of yourself with other animals. I believe this is why some furries like hybrids.

So, Papabear’s advice to you would be to, first, relax and take time to explore your soul and your connection to other species. Educate yourself about animals and their behaviors. Be open to dreams and to your personal physical experiences as well. The more open you are to other animal spirits, the easier it will be for the spirit that most suits you to let you know that they are there for you, that they are your animal match.

Bear Hugs,

Papabear

Disclaimer
Opinions and advice expressed in the “Ask Papabear” column are not necessarily those of the Furry News Network, its staff, sponsors, or advertisers. Papabear is not a trained therapist, physician, or social worker, and the author of “Ask Papabear” will refer readers to licensed professionals in cases where such recommendations seem in order.

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I just recently got a lot more interest in anthro art featuring dragons and scalies, but I don't actually know any artists besides Narse and ReptileCynrik, and if there exists a community devoted to it then I'm unaware of it.

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With all the talk about SOPA, PIPA, ACTA, and a few other draconian copyright enforcement laws being discussed I'm wondering how this would affect the fandom if they're ever passed.

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We’ve successfully made it to 2012 and we’re gearing up for one hell of a year – but – we need help!  In 2010 and 2011, we maintained and updated a Convention Page for most of the furry conventions in the US and around the world.  Because of time constraints, I and the Associate Editors don’t have time to collect all the details and put together updated pages for 2012 and beyond.

We’re looking for someone who is willing to update these pages as new information comes in from Convention organizers, as well as someone who may actually be attending some of these conventions – to offer convention reports after the event has happened.

If you are willing to update the Conventions, and you have basic knowledge of how to use a blogging platform like WordPress, please contact us at EMAIL LINK.  We have a calendar system in place to help with creating pages, as well as allowing users the ability to download the calendar to their smart phones or desktop computers or tablets.

Meet the Furries and Fans at 2012′s Most Unconventional Convention By Sherilyn Connelly Tue., Jan. 17 2012 at 2:00 PM Categories: Events, Over the Weekend, Queer

My first genre convention — and certainly the most far-flung — was the second and finalMystery Science Theater 3000 ConventioCon Expo Fest-A-Rama in Minneapolis in 1996. I give conventions a wide berth these days, because — aside from the fact that I love few things as much as I love Mystery Science Theater 3000 – others I’ve attended have left a bad taste in my mouth. This malaise is perfectly summed up in Red Letter Media’s video recap of the 2011 Chicago Comic Con.
But I’d been looking forward to Further Confusion, the annual furry convention in San Jose. I got to attend as a media rep, I found some really cool stuff, and I got to try on a full fursuit for the first time.

?That the convention’s media director Chairo (read my interview with him here) invited my girlfriend Marta and me to attend as media for the Exhibitionist made it all the more awesome. Gods know we were given the best lanyard-badges EVAR.

Finish reading at SFWeekly: Meet the Furries

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what is the opposite of humanoid anthro style called as in http://hippie.nu/~unicorn/tut/img/basics/anthro/paws-humanoid-1.jpeg

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It’s that time again, boys and girls (and everything else)! Sorry about the intro getting interrupted, but you can expect a lot more “no” if PIPA gets put through and/or SOPA is revived and snuck through when nobody’s looking. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, after all! We’ve got three e-mails this time, though two are from Sclariqrevk; remember, all of the rest of you are allowed – even encouraged! – to e-mail us with your issue! The last is from a listener whose brother is having a really rough time of things. Lots of doors have been closed, but we try to pry open any possible venue to help! We’ve also got a rant about drama vs. conflict, our word of the week (this), Harry Belafonte, Final Fantasy, 2-D vs. 3-D, icecapades, Obama’s state of the union address, and other various and sundry items!

Next week’s show is going to be something entirely new. We’re going to be doing a show about confessions. All e-mails will be completely anonymous, and we encourage the usage of services like gmail and Hotmail to create new accounts through which to send us anything you want to get off of your chest. As usual, we’re also perfectly willing to field any requests for help or other topics. Remember, we want to hear from you – you ARE Fuzzy Logic!

Also, we will be recording our first LIVE episode of Fuzzy Logic at Furry Fiesta this year, on February 24th at 9:00p. We want to invite all of our listeners to come and join us, and we want you to send us e-mails to read on the show; if you want us to save what you send for the live show, just include that in the subject line!

Finally, Kyo should have us live on iTunes sometime over the weekend; come Monday, check for us!

Twitter: fuzzylogiccast
FA: fuzzylogicpodcast
E-mail: fuzzy.logic.podcast@gmail.com

Download:
Episode 31 – Mini-Me
File modified January 27, 2012 – 70.1 MB – downloaded 750 times so far

Episode 31 – Mini-Me - It’s that time again, boys and girls (and everything else)! Sorry about the intro getting interrupted, but you can expect a lot more “no” if PIPA gets put through and/or SOPA is revived and snuck through whe[...]

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More e-books we’ve stumbled across… Check out Lycanthropy Anonymous by J.A. Konrath. This 2011 book concerns lycanthropy — shapeshifting — and the myriad ways it can make your life complicated. Here, check out the publisher’s description from Amazon: “It isn’t easy being a werewolf. Especially when you’re a newbie at shapeshifting. Lucky, there’s a group called Shapeshifters Anonymous that will help you work through the difficult times, like eating your friends, and shedding. When recently turned werewolf Robert Weston Smith discovers his new found abilities in a humorous (but alarming) way, he seeks out the support group to help him figure things out. There he meets various characters who transform into assorted, odd things, including a sexy werecheetah named Irena. But little did Weston know he’d been followed to this private gathering, by someone who wants to do the therianthropes a great deal of harm… ” The description goes on, “Shapeshifters Anonymous is a 12,000 word novella, specifically formatted for Kindle. It contains a handful of werepeople, a dash of romance, some gratuitous humor, and revisionist Xmas theories. It also has previews of Konrath’s other work.” And it’s available for the Kindle right now.

image c. 2011 J.A. Konrath