A broken plain glass jar containing a white powder was found in the ninth floor stairwell after reports from room 963 of a strong chlorine smell that forced the occupants onto the balcony.
A standard "box alarm" at 1:03 AM was quickly elevated to a hazardous materials and third-alarm emergency response. The adjoining convention center was used to house attendees until the area was made safe, with the all-clear sounded at 4:21 AM.
Just wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas. Every one of you. Thank you for keeping this site alive throughout the years, and refusing to give it up. You done an amazing job so far, and... I dunno. Thanks for the aforementioned job.
... But wait! What if you don't celebrate Christmas?
Well, in this case, close your eyes, pretend this article never existed, and close the window. Once you open your eyes, it will be as if you never read it!