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Religion: Satan is a Furry

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Happy Science: Satan We’ve all heard the charge that Furry fans are fetishists who dress up in fursuits just to have sex with each other.

Have you heard that Satan is a Furry; a cat-man from the Large Magellanic Cloud who is responsible for all the evils on Earth?

That might be funny if over ten million people did not believe it.

That is one of the revelations made in The Laws of the Sun by Ryuho Okawa, one of the Bibles of the Happy Science religion.

According to him, humans were created by God on the planet Venus, and migrated to Earth in spaceships, 400 million years ago. Then, on page 20, he says,

It was at this time that such gigantic life forms as the dinosaurs were beginning to prowl the land surface of the Earth, and there was some apprehension that colonists unused to the terrestrial environment might go in peril of their lives. For this reason, the race chosen [by God] to comprise the first immigrants was a warlike people from the Magellanic Cloud who were both extrovertly audacious and aggressively independent. Their technological expertise was relatively advanced, however – enough, indeed, for them to be able to make the journey to Earth in their own spacecraft. In outward appearance they were very close to the people of today, except that they had pointed ears and a tail much like a cat’s. These features were gradually to disappear through the process of evolution, although some of them on returning to the spirit world reverted to their original form as a result of residual racial memory.

Anime fans will recognize the traditional Japanese description of Furriness: ears and tails only. So now you know why the dinosaurs really disappeared: they were hunted to extinction by big-game hunters from the Magellanic Cloud. As to why one of these cat-men, Satan, a.k.a. Lucifer, became the Devil, it is too long to quote, but it is on page 21.

Happy Science might very roughly be described as a Japanese Buddhist equivalent of Scientology. It mostly espouses peace and brotherhood, except for the need to conquer North Korea and Red China before they can nuke Japan. The ghost/spirit of Margaret Thatcher has told them so. Okawa is the Messiah of the Happy Science religion. He claims to be the reincarnation of a long list of famous people including Thoth, Enlil, Jacob who founded the Twelve Tribes of the Jews, Hermes, Moses, Confucius, Plato, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, Isaac Newton, and Thomas Edison.

Happy Science claims more than ten million parishioners around the world, mostly in Japan but including religionists in Hawaii, Southern California (I have met some), New York, Paris, and other metropolises. I can believe it, because every few years Happy Science commissions Toei Animation to make a theatrical cartoon feature dramatizing one of its teachings, and it has enough followers to make it #1 at the Japanese box office for two or three weeks. Happy Science tried to get Streamline Pictures, where I worked during the 1990s, to license some of them for video release in the U.S., but we were not interested – they were all too preachy.

Anyhow, if anyone asks you if anybody famous is a Furry, you can tell them that Satan has that honor. Also maybe Chewbacca and Jake Sully, since Happy Science recognizes the Wookies of Star Wars and the Na’vi of Avatar as real aliens.

Here are the complete 104-minute movie version of The Laws of the Sun. Satan is at 17 to 19 minutes. Also Hermes: Winds of Love, The Laws of Eternity, and The Golden Laws, any of which I recommend as more coherent and interesting than The Laws of the Sun (not counting the boring first couple of minutes of Hermes).

Comments

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That religion sounds like the plot of a few video games I once played. Kind of a blend of Chrono Trigger and EVO. Only multiplied by ridiculousness XD

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Is that really any worse than any other religion? Some just seem normal because we are so used to their craziness.

"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~

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On one hand, well, admittedly, living your life according to the teachings of a guy who's one big accomplishment was getting himself executed due mostly to Roman bureaucracy and being a bit too trusting of that one guy is kind of weird.

On the other hand, well, living your life according to absolutely nothing is pretty weird, too.

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It would be but I'm not aware of anyone that lives their life according to absolutely nothing.

"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~

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As I understand it, the story is Jesus knew Judas would betray him, but let him do it so he could take the world's sin away. This is theologically troubling; if the betrayal was necessary to enact the big plan, why damn him for it?

It doesn't work out well for Judas. He gets his thirty pieces of silver, then hangs himself. Everyone played him.

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Now about why God allow Judas to betray Jesus, We look at Old Testament prophecies pointing to Jesus. It is a common theme in scripture Christ and Judas actions fulfilled God plan of redemption. According to scripture and prophets is common theme in the Gospels to show Jesus, is truly the messiah.
http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Mt1.18-25,21.1-11,26.47-56
http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Jn19.23-27

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I do not know how we got on this rabbit trail of Christian criticism but I am compelled to answer. You give only incomplete to the gospel account, pointing out Jesus’ death but neglected his resurrection. Scripture give a better defense of what we believe in Christ: We all are dead in sin yet God in his mercy sent his son who died in our sin and was resurrected for our Justification.
1 Corinthians 15:1-8 (English Standard Version)
English Standard Version (ESV)
15 Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, 2 and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. 3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. 7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. 8 Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me.

If Christ has no resurrected then we are in Christ would “live according to nothing”.

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“There are no dinosaurs in Venice – but very fine wine.”
- Father Giuseppe Leonardi, as quoted in Hunting Dinosaurs by Louie Psihoyos

Well, I’ll guess I’ll just do this, because, what the hell, Rakuen started it. That’s right, crossie is going to DEFEND RELIGION ON THE iNTERNET.

This will be good.

Let’s start with a story, because that’s what I do. I tell stories to make my points. And make jokes. It’s a true story.

Okay, so one day I was in the grade school library (obviously this is not a recent story), and back in the day, I was a big fan of what the cool kids are now calling “cryptozoology,” but I was calling at the time “stuff like Bigfoot.” In this case the book I was returning was about Bigfoot, and it ended with some vague theorizing that maybe Bigfoot was the missing link between apes and man.

Anyway, another young student, we’ll call her Girl-Who-Likes-Dogs (because she was a girl who liked dogs), noticed my book and, having read the book herself, offered her opinion on it. We both agreed the missing link theory was dumb. I thought it was a dumb theory because, you know, it was a dumb theory, but she thought it was a dumb theory because God made man on the seventh day (or whatever it was in Genesis).

So, anyway, yeah, that was in grade school, but it wasn’t like her views on religion or how the world works or anything like that changed drastically during our senior year (it was a small town, so it’s not like I barely knew her before or after the original event). Anyway, as fate would have it, she was voted the female Most Likely to Succeed. I mean, she was smart and probably would have made a good business person (where not understanding evolution doesn’t really effect much, after all), but she went and got pregnant that last semester (after the voting, apparently) and because she (and her parents) were strict Christians, she kept the baby (not saying that I necessarily disagree with that part) and married the guy, and now she has Most Likely Succeeded to be a white trash mother. For the record, the male voted Most Likely to Succeed for my class was, uh, me, actually. What a wash, huh?

See, she missed the point of religion; she used religion as an excuse to not think, to effectively ignore centuries of science, to take the easy path, but when it actually came down to, you know, following the rules of the religion, well, screw that! Literally! I mean, if you’re fundamentalist enough to be Creationist, you’re fundamentalist enough to believe that sex with someone you’re not married to is a no-no.

I’m not sure why I created a pseudonym for this person now, since referring to her as the anonymous pronoun “her” worked pretty good, actually. Oh, well.

Religion is not a comfort blanket. How the universe was created is, you know, an interesting question, but it doesn’t tell you why. That’s the point of religion to me.

Every Christian has their conversion story, so here’s mine, if you’ll allow me. Yes, I’m preaching. This is a sermon. Downvote already if you’re uncomfortable. Anyway, here goes nothing.

My favorite dinosaur is Tyrannosaurus rex.

Every kid loves dinosaurs, but I loved dinosaurs a lot. My aunt met an author a children’s book about dinosaurs, and why maybe it’s a blessing they’re extinct (where would they fit them in zoos? was one example. It was a children’s book, remember.). Anyway, he told her that he had met hundreds of aunts like her who were sure their nephews couldn’t name the dinosaur on page whatever-it-was; so, he bet her another brand new dinosaur book that me and my brothers couldn’t guess it, his standard offer, which had never been guessed in those hundreds of aunts before.

Anyway, it was a Postosuchus, which is kind of cheating, since Postosuchus is technically not a dinosaur, but a crocodile like archosaur from the Triassic period that everybody just assumed was a crocodile before us, apparently. Rookie mistake.

Because we didn’t just know Triceratops and Stegosaurus and T. rex, or even the factoids like Brontosaurus isn’t really real (it’s an Apatasaurus) or Pteranodons aren’t actually dinosaurs, but their own thing which every little boy knows but forgets that he knew as an adult. No, we knew the science of dinosaurs.

It was the early nineties, and it was an exciting time in dinosaur science; I wanted to be a paleontologist all through grade school. John Ostrom had found Deinonychus and was beginning to think maybe these guys were awfully bird-like, which influenced Bob Bakker, who had an awesome beard and cowboy hat, to write The Dinosaur Heresies, which made dinosaurs really cool (oh, yeah, they were cool because they were big, which is important for little kids, but I converted to the “warm blooded” theory when I realized it made them even cooler), and Jack Horner (boo, hiss, the Judas of this Gospel) was naming a duck-billed dinosaur Maiasaurus because he thought it might have actually raised its infants like a mother mammal or bird, unlike a reptile.

And all this time, we’re learning about concepts like “evolution” and “geologic time” and other things that the fundies really, really, really hate, and, oh, yes, there were attempts to head it off. Books from grandmother about dinosaurs that attempted to prove man and dinosaur lived together. Biblical serpents and dragons and Mkele Mbembe (cryptozoology again!). Another with the joke “Why did the dinosaur cross the road?” and the rejoinder “Because chickens hadn’t been invented yet!” And now I see the implications of the word “invented,” but at the time it was just nonsense in a nonsense joke.

But, in the third grade, my church, the United Methodist Church, gave every kid a Bible (oh, Sunday school was attended semi-regularly, but Methodists are a “liberal” church, thank God Almighty, and most of our lessons were actually “tree-hugging hippy crap” as my mother called it, believe it or not). And I loved to read, so I set down to read that mother cover to cover (uh, still not got there, actually, though I did skip ahead to the end. Revelation is pretty metal.), and ran into a problem.

Mom asked me what I thought of it, and I said, “I kind of think it’s fiction.”

From the mouth of babes.

Now, to be clear, here, I was not punished for this. We were a Christian family (except for maybe my dad, who may have converted, may still be an atheist as he claims he was who goes to church for appearance sake, or may actually have been, or still is, an agnostic, but is such an agnostic he honestly doesn’t care to use the right word), but not that Christian. And it’s not like my mom had anyone to blame other than herself; who else had bought all those books and videos explaining those uncomfortable-to-fundies concepts like “geologic time” and “evolution”.

But it was still a source of discomfort; a cognitive dissonance, if you will. See, I was raised in a Christian household (mostly, as previously noted), so I was never not a Christian. But dinosaurs offered that crisis of faith; you can’t be “born again” Christian if you are “born” Christian.

See, I suppose I could have gone atheist; there truly is no evidence for God. Now, there is evidence for Jesus (historians agree on two things about Jesus; he was an actual historical figure, and that the makers of the documentary Religulous are not historians), but once again, we don’t have much evidence supporting that whole son of God thing, or even much eyewitness data to corroborate that whole “He is risen” thing. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, sure, but it is also not evidence.

I did not need a creation story from the Bible, because I already had one. Dinosaurs had provided it; but neither dinosaurs nor Christianity were done with me yet.

Okay, now is the time for the reading of Scripture portion of the sermon. Please take out your copy of Hunting Dinosaurs by Louie Psihoyos, and turn to “The Dinosaur Trackers”, Chapter 2, Verse 39-40.

Wait, hold up! Okay, first of all, you’re saying, you don’t have a copy of this book! Well, that’s your own damn fault; it’s a great book, you should get it. But anyway, you’re also complaining that isn’t Scripture always from the Bible. What, you think God only speaks through the Bible? Once, He spoke through a burning bush, for His sake, because He’s God, and He’ll speak any old darn way He pleases, thank you very much. Catholics know this; they believe He speaks through the Pope. Evangelicals know this; they call it “personal revelation.” That being said, I’m a Methodist, so I’m not part of either group, but whatever.

Anyway, I’ll drop the goofy “reading Scripture” thing and preface this as an interview with paleontologist Father Giuseppe Leonardi. He is asked “Why would God create a T. rex?”

“Oh, that you must ask to Him. I think that God is generous with life. He gave space to many forms, many animals, all of them important, they are splendid. They are also, like us, in the image of God. Not anthropomorphically, but because we are alive, intelligent and beautiful. So Tyrannosaurus rex is an image of God. Because he has life, and God has life. Because he is beautiful, and God is beautiful. Because he has a meaning, and God has a meaning. In many, many ways, each animal, each star, each butterfly butterfly, each flower, are an image of God. So dinosaurs are also.”

I don’t know, I thought that was a pretty good answer. But almost as important, it’s a really good question. The question is not “How.”

The question is “Why.”

Father Leonardi’s story is amazing. He was trained as a scientist, but felt the call to missionary work (I’m sure the prayer went something like, “So, Jesus, should I dick around with old bones or help the poor and needy … oh, wait, I kind answered my own question. Good talk, Jesus!” Except in Italian.). While there, he literally stumbled upon a treasure trove of fossilized trackways in the streets of the Brazilian town he was missioning (if that’s the verb) in. Everyone, not just believers, knows the story of Jonah; God says do this, Jonah doesn’t, world’s most famous case of vorephilia porn. But, apparently, the opposite can be true; man loves dinosaurs, man loves God, man gives up dinosaurs for God, God gives man back dinosaurs.

So T. rex led me to Christ.

And that’s why I can’t be an atheist; because, though religion is not a set of rules to follow any more than it is a comfort blanket, atheism doesn’t serve a function. Atheism doesn’t create beauty; it doesn’t create meaning. It doesn’t create anything. Because atheism is nothing. Literally.

What has atheism created? Really? A bunch of obnoxious snobs who are high on the smell of their own “intellectual superiority,” just as content to not think as any fundamentalist; not to defend fundies, in fact, screw those guys just as hard, but you’re the same coin, different sides. The best atheism has come up with artistically is H.P. Lovecraft; stilted prose and rampant racism (and I’m a fan!).

I call myself a Christian of hope; not of faith. I’m like the apostle Thomas, i.e. Doubting Thomas. He didn’t believe in the resurrection until Jesus literally told him to finger his hole. Except in Aramaic. My faith is not strong; they talk about the gifts of “faith, hope and love.” Faith is not my gift (and I don’t need to back up the claim that love isn’t it, either, do I?). I got stuck with hope, which is kind of the crappy one of the three. Because it can lead to disappointment really easily.

But right now I got hope; hope that I mean something, you mean something, this stupid post means something, the stupid cat I rescued from the side of the road sleeping next to me as I write this means something, it all means something, because if it doesn’t mean anything, well, I might as well just fuck that cat, right in her cat ass, because she doesn’t mean anything, and I don’t mean anything and the act of fucking doesn’t mean anything at all, and the only real consequence is that I’ll only get to do it once and honestly, at least I won’t have to fucking clean up her shit anymore, you know what I mean?

Why shouldn’t I fuck a cat death, if it all means nothing? Why?

No, really, why? I’m asking you, why?

Why?

Being an atheist means never having to ask why.

Jack Horner, the maiasaur guy, he decided T. rex was a scavenger, because that makes sense. Anyway, he somehow became the main advisor on the Jurassic Park, despite the fact that Bob Bakker was Michael Crichton’s main inspiration for the books. Anyway, in the second movie, there was an obvious Bob Bakker parody, which, admittedly, probably was not directly Horner’s fault. Most people probably didn’t get the joke, but a guy who could recognize Postosuchus could recognize who a paleontologist with a cowboy hat and ZZTop beard was supposed to be.

The bad blood between Horner and Bakker was that Bakker criticized the T. rex as a scavenger theory. In the movie, the heroine character actively criticizes the Bakker parody’s theories (despite the fact that the real Bakker didn’t hold those theories either) while making a spectacularly idiotic spectacle of herself, while the Bakker character is eaten by a T. rex.

Bakker sent Horner a note saying, “See, I told you T. rex was a predator.”

I read that story on TVTropes recently; I clicked the link to Bakker’s Wikipedia page; turns out, he’s actually an Ecumenical pastor. Like Father Leonardi, who is quoted in Hunting Dinosaurs as saying, on Genesis, “That text is poetry. It is a song and it is beautiful. But it is not a scientific demonstration,” he doesn’t believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible.

I have to disagree with Leonardi, however. Genesis isn’t poetry to me. I still hold, just as I did all those years ago, that Genesis is a fiction.

I told you I like stories, in the beginning. I guess that’s why I’m a Christian.

It makes a better story, when things have meaning.

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the aristocrats

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I think you're missing the opportunity cost argument. Sure, people have created some beautiful things in the service of religions - but they could have been doing other things if they weren't religious. All those lazy Sundays add up!

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I still am baffled by how people can interpret "God created the world in seven days" as "God created the world in 7 24 hour periods" instead of "God created the world in 7 eras".

Because day can mean either. When an old man goes "Back in my day" he did not have a 24 hour period with his generations name on it. He's talking about his generations 'time', or era.

Using that interpretation allows for a more accurate Genesis, particularly when you not that the "Sun and Moon" were created a few 'day's in... can't have a 24 hour period without a sun.

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There is a theory that the ancient Jews had a lunar calendar rather than a solar calendar. So when they said in the Bible in the fifth chapter of Genesis that Adam lived to be 930 years old, Seth lived for a total of 912 years, Enosh lived 905 years, and so on – Noah of the Ark was 500 years old when he had his three sons – the Jews really meant months old rather than solar years old.

This would have made Methuselah, the oldest man in the Bible at 969 years old when he died, only 969 months old, or between 85 and 86 solar years old – ancient for a man about 4,000 years ago, but not impossible.

Fred Patten

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I think that is actually a bit accurate and thought as much as well.

I would agree with it for two reasons:

1) The modern year is based on a solar year, and back in the day only very few believed there to be any motion of the earth around the sun, no less could calculate how long it took. And those that did believe the earth went around the sun were not seen too positively by the powers at be in the church. So it would be odd for them to refer to a calendar they didn't believe in.

2) There are seasons everywhere and one could certainly base a yearly calender on those alone, however in the desert area of the planet there are not many indicators to seasonal changes.

With those two reasons the only thing noticeable by the masses would be the phases of the moon to tell the passage of time on a larger scale.

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Yeah, except that's wrong too.

I mean, Genesis has birds appearing at the same time as fish.

That's not how that happened. At all.

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Satan has been portrayed with dragon / bat like wings and goat characteristic throughout the ages so this is nothing new. I still felt the article is weak without of links to Japanese Mythology and cultism and the furry reference to satin is a generalization at best. It more has to do with Japans history of shinshūkyō or New Religions. Something I am just scratching the surface.

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that could be interesting to know satan is a furry, hes been a creature with Horns,, or a dragon with wings and horns and etc.....

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(I have not checked this website in like 2 days, I may check this one area sometime later.)

"We’ve all heard the charge that Furry fans are fetishists who dress up in fursuits just to have sex with each other."
I think we shouldn't care about something not even evil besides false identity mistakes it's self. Yet, I don't believe that it's a "fetish" (Labeling again) anyway. Yet though, I'm not surprised that much.

Man, this Venus story reminds me of that one "story" about felines and humans and another planet a bit, except it's not much of a God argument.

Anyway, there are so many "Satan" stories going around everywhere, good grief...

Diamond_Man.exe
Alpha and Omega Movie, a "rare" diamond. :D

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I might as well add my two cents. ohh theology how I loved/hated thee. Well according to most Christian religions (religions, because they do differ from one another. I guess the Core beliefs would be that they believe in Jesus, Yahweh or his many names except if you are Jewish, and a few others I believe, I could be wrong on this but I believe at least one other and there's more to that but I'll refrain. Anyways...) that the Satan or Lucifer of the Bible was one of God's most beautiful and prideful angels and his pride is what made him into a fallen angel and the keeper of Hell, what it does not say is that satan then turned into a horned goat like creature with hooves, this came about from a "Pagan" Diety know as Pan the Goat God which wasn't really evil anyways, he's a God of fertility hence being a goat. From what I've studied it makes sense to me that this was propaganda to incite fear. Now it does mention that Satan as a dragon in some scripture. Just to add a little for, "The more you know" The upside down cross isn't an evil sign but a sign of humility to Jesus because he (Peter) forsoke him. *To the Mods If I have stepped out of line or this is offensive or distasteful, this is not my intention. I know religion sparks many a wars and heated debates, I would not be offended if you erased this. Ty.

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LOLOLOLOLOL RELIGION.

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I've heard a case of a furry who had trouble in his family by being a furry because his family associated the interest in anthropomorphic animals as interest in satanism, because his/her parents said Satan is part-human part-goat. Exageration eh?

There're so many anthropomorphic representations of so many things in religion it's kind of pointless to even argue about. Ok, Satan. So what? There's also Fenrir, Sekhmet, Bastet, Quetzalcoatl, Inuyasha, ad nauseum... It's more about the own's interpretation and religion choice than anything else.

What people should do is exactly what pretty much every furry does: Judging by the person himself, not by the fursona's species. Even if it's a goat. XD

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Satan was an angel too, and I'm sure as religious as those folks are they have plenty of angel symbolism strewn about their house. How do they know if they're good angels are the baddest angel of all? Did they ask them?

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The Yezidees or Yazidis in modern Iran believe that Satan or Shaitan or Melek Taus (king of the angels), a.k.a. the Peacock Angel, is the leader of the group of archangels that God put in charge of Earth. In other words, the #2 in Heaven under God. This is the basis for the charge that the Yezidees “worship Satan”. They are persecuted by the Muslim majority in Iran. See Wikipedia, or the "Top 10" comic book written by Alan Moore.

Fred Patten

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No, but I have heard on a Christian furry board, a person revealed that he was a furry and his parents thought the furry became gay and wanted to repbapatize him. It shows the lack of biblical understanding by the parents. I am Reformed in my doctrine. It was also why left a comment on a article in[a][s] about furry should be included as Q as in LGBTQ. I commented that Not many furry Christians want to be lumped into LGBT and it could cause unnecessary grief and problems in a Christian family or our churches.

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About the author

Fred (Fred Patten)read storiescontact (login required)

a retired former librarian from North Hollywood, California, interested in general anthropomorphics

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