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Opinion: The top ten movies of 2016

Your rating: None Average: 3.2 (13 votes)

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So, anyway, it’s June 2017, which is a great time to talk about the movies of 2016.

Preliminaries

I’ve done this five times before, the ground rules should be clear, but a quick reminder for the uninformed: all movies are my choices, not Flayrah’s, choices are not necessarily furry, movies came out theatrically in 2016 and that’s about it. Usually I do a list of preliminaries, but I’ll save that for Twitter; I don’t remember how to code the boxes, and I’ve changed accounts so I can’t just copy and paste the code, anyway.

Now, without further ado, let the bodies hit the floor!

10. Kung Fu Panda 3

“Wings of disagreement.”
Directed by Alessandro Carloni and Jennifer Yuh Nelson
Theatrical release date – 1/29/2016

The curse has been lifted! This is the first direct sequel to a movie on a previous list to make it on to my top ten list. Seeing as how Kung Fu Panda 2 was ranked at number three by me back in 2011 (and that top three was tight, by the way), coming in at number 10 is a bit of a come down. It just wasn’t as good a movie as the previous two movies in the franchise.

Which is not to say it’s not good; after all, it’s still in the top ten list. It was also a great start to the year for furry movies. A high note that would soon be surpassed, but still a high note. There were a lot of talking animal movies out this year that were very popular, but very few made it on my list. But these characters are still unmissable any year.

9. Suicide Squad

“There's just one teeny problem. You messed with my friends!”
Directed by David Ayer
Theatrical release date – 8/5/2016

Here’s one of my few real disagreements with the critical mass, so get out your popcorn, this might need some unpacking. To explain, I’d like to talk about my choice for worst movie of the year, Captain America: Civil War (and for the record, I have not and probably never will see Batman v Superman, so please don’t think this is a Marvel vs. DC thing). Adding X-Men: Apocalypse (also skipped), three of the four big ensemble superhero movies this year were about friends becoming enemies.

Especially given how this year played out, my objection to those movies is completely ethical. If even our fantasies can’t come together and just like each other, what chance do we have in reality? But then there’s Suicide Squad; a movie with massive technical flaws but that is at heart a movie about enemies becoming friends. &*%$ you, Captain America, you’re the reason Trump is president.

8. Green Room

8.jpg“I know what it is. My desert-island band.”
Directed by Jeremy Saulnier
Theatrical release date – 5/13/2016

Hey, speaking of characters that really should be punching Nazis instead of their friends, it’s Green Room, the brutal story of a punk band who find themselves fighting for their life after witnessing a murder committed by Nazis. It’s a brutal death march of a movie, and effectively takes the usual horror movie spot on my list.

You know those postmodern movies where they set up an obvious hero and then kill him or her off first? Yeah, this movie has a way better trick; a character who by genre convention you know is dead before the end of the first act suddenly becomes one of the most important characters in the movie. Because just like in real life, there are no redshirts.

7. The BFG

7.jpg“Your madjester, I am your most humbug servant.”
Directed by Stephen Spielberg
Theatrical release date – 7/1/2016
This movie was a pretty good amalgamation of Roald Dahl and Stephen Spielberg. Spielberg’s trademarks feel diluted by Dahl’s, and vice versa. Spielberg brings a lighter touch to the proceedings than the children’s author. Thank goodness for that.

I remember the story being darker than this movie ended up being. I’m okay with that. More than okay. I just praised my yearly horror movie pick for not killing a character off. I was in a mood last year. It was 2016. We were all in a mood.

6. Sully

6.jpg“This is the Captain speaking. Brace for impact.”
Directed by Clint Eastwood
Theatrical release date – 9/9/2016

Speaking of movie amalgamations, here’s one that seems to combine Tom HanksCaptain Phillips (which I liked) and Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper (which I didn’t); stories of “real American heroes” who inspired the nation, one way or another. It doesn’t really matter to the ranking, but of the three biopics’ subjects, Captain Sullenberger seems to be the most genuinely humble.

This was also my middlebrow Oscar hope for the year. Well, here’s looking at 2017, anyway. I managed not to get a single movie on this list that went along with the Academy’s Best Picture nominees. First time that’s ever happened.

5. Star Trek Beyond

5.jpg“I like the beats and the shouting.”
Directed by Justin Lin
Theatrical release date – 7/22/2016

Boy, I did not like the trailer for this movie. The choice of the Beastie Boy’s “Sabotage” was questionable. I mean, this is a franchise over half a century old, and we’re getting all nostalgic for a movie that isn’t even a decade old? Really?

But then the actual movie came along, and it made perfect sense. It was really the perfect song for the perfect moment. And it was a real Star Trek movie in a way Star Trek movies, especially the reboots, rarely are. It’s about this cast of characters, and for the first time in the reboot, we get more than a Spock/Kirk bromance. Bones and Spock actually interact! Thank you, director of Fast and Furious movies! Did not expect to write that!

4. Rogue One – A Star Wars Story

4.jpg“I’m one with the Force, and the Force is with me.”
Directed by Gareth Edwards
Theatrical release date – 12/16/2016

Who says you have to pick between Star Wars and Star Trek? But, speaking of arbitrary divides, this is a very divisive movie. Perhaps character and plot could be tighter, but the truth of the matter is that, like Suicide Squad, the themes are why those of us who love it do. Hope is obviously there, but for the first time since Han Solo’s blithe dismissal in the original movie, the Force is treated as a religion for a character, rather than a magic power.

And for the first, and probably last time, there are real stakes in a Star Wars movie. These characters aren’t important franchise characters, so they can die. Yeah, sure, there was a death in The Force Awakens involving a beloved character, but, honestly, I didn’t really feel much. But I felt things here. Hands down, the best Star Wars prequel ever!

3. The Jungle Book

3.jpg“Hey, guys.”
Directed by Jon Favreau
Theatrical release date – 4/15/2016

I really didn’t go into this movie expecting it to actually have something to say, other than possibly “hey, wasn’t The Jungle Book fun as a cartoon; maybe you’ll like it in live action, too.” But it actually did have something to say, which was basically “gosh, Mowgli wasn’t really much of a character in the old movie.”

This movie gives Mowgli a much less passive role; he makes his own decisions, and does things that the cartoon Mowgli never would have thought of. Things don’t just happen to him; he happens to things. And some of the things he can do are wonderful.

2. Deadpool

2.jpg“I know, right?”
Directed by Tim Miller
Theatrical release date – 2/16/2016

I think the best part of picking Deadpool as my second favorite movie of the year is that, going by precursor awards, it came this close to being the movie that connected the Best Picture field and my top ten. It was, for instance, the only Producers Guild of America pick that wasn’t nominated for Best Picture. Of course, in the end, it couldn’t even get a Makeup and Hairstyling nomination. Even Suicide Squad got one of those (and then won it). Anyway, enjoy your Sound Editing nomination, Sully.

So, I guess I should actually talk about the movie rather than its lack of Oscar nominations. It’s pretty funny, I guess. There’s a little bit more to it than that, but, I mean, it’s a movie about Deadpool. The funny thing is the important part.

1. Zootopia

1.jpg“Oh, so there’s a them now?”
Directed by Byron Howard and Rich Moore
Theatrical release date – 3/4/2016

Well, I mean, duh. All this movie had to do was not completely suck and it was going to make the list; all it had to do was be good and it would be top five. Pretty good, and it’s number one, easy. Of course, given the massive anticipation for this movie I had for this movie, it could also easily disappoint me even if it was pretty good, and find itself out of the running that way. So, it had better be really pretty good.

So, the fact that it was better than I expected is amazing. At first it seems cute and cuddly, but there are fangs under the fuzz (and deep, painful wounds under that). This movie somehow managed to get more and more relevant as the year went on; I repeatedly joked last summer if Trump wins, I’m moving to Zootopia. Well, so long guys. It’s been real.

Comments

Your rating: None

I finally am basically done with my top 10 list of animated films released in 2016, and two of them are on your list, Zootopia (which was my #1) and Kung Fu Panda 3 (my #9).

Your rating: None

...and, my list is posted, to any who may be interested.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

Kind of confused you knocked Moana for cultural misappropriation, when it at least starred Polynesian actors in the two biggest roles, but not Kubo, which only featured Japanese actors in minor roles.

Not that I was big fan of either ("Disney princess that isn't like those other Disney princesses" is kind of becoming it's own annoying genre and Lin Miranda's music makes me gassy, and Kubo, well, I was really glad when my brother ended up admitting he didn't really like it all that much, because I was like, oh, good, it's not just me and pro-Zootopia awards bias), but really this seems like a pretty decent ranking.

Your rating: None

I think we are using different definitions of 'cultural misappropriation', both of which are valid aspects of a film to examine. You were referring to the culture of the voice actors cast in the roles. I was referring to how faithful Disney was to the traditional stories and characters Moana was based upon.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

I have a feeling Your Name is guaranteed a spot on my top 10 for 2017 already.

Your rating: None

"&*%$ you, Captain America, you’re the reason Trump is president." I need more details on your reasoning.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (2 votes)

"you're the reason Trump is president" is the new "thanks Obama", duh.

Your rating: None

You'd be surprised how often I hear those two phrases in the same sentence, separated by a comma.

In that, it is greater than zero.

Your rating: None

2014 - "This movie is dark; it revolves around a group of Nazis so bad the other Nazis were all like, “Whoah, hey, tone it down!” infiltrating America’s government and defense forces in a scheme to rule the world by killing pretty much everyone; and they almost get away with it! But through it all, Captain America is Captain America; he fights for truth, justice and the American way. Things get dark, but he doesn’t. Captain America, heck yeah! (He wouldn’t like me cursing.)"

2015 - "Before we begin, I would like to point out that Joss Whedon totally stole my Captain America joke from last year, you guys."

2016 - "Especially given how this year played out, my objection to those movies is completely ethical. If even our fantasies can’t come together and just like each other, what chance do we have in reality? But then there’s Suicide Squad; a movie with massive technical flaws but that is at heart a movie about enemies becoming friends. &*%$ you, Captain America, you’re the reason Trump is president."

2017 - I am so sorry I ever doubted you.

(Of course, the current comics version ... is actually a Nazi-so-bad-the-other-Nazis-kicked-them-out right now, but that's actually due to the villains using a major magical plot device and not his fault, so he'll come around probably.)

Your rating: None Average: 2 (1 vote)

Not feeling this one

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

I can't resist chiming in on movies, one of my favorite pastimes.

Actually I think its good to wait at least a couple months into the new year to consider the movies from the year before. This gives year-end movies time to marinate in the mind before they eclipse movies released from earlier in the year + allows for a grace period of catch-up with other movies might have missed.

Of your list I liked Star Trek Beyond and Deadpool the best (and one other that made my own top 10 below... guess which one!) The new Jungle Book (and also Pete's Dragon) left me kinda "meh". Green Room had a scene that almost made me pass out (I bet you know which gory part I'm thinking of.) Didn't catch The BFG or Sully, so no opinion on those.

Here's mine in ascending order...

10. The Witch
What this horror movie lacks in scares it makes up for in heavy, dreaded atmosphere. A lone family struggles with occult forces tearing them apart they cannot fully comprehend. Set in 1770's America with old English dialog to match. Oh, and a very underrated performance from Black Phillip, animal actor extraordinaire!

9. Finding Dory
Don't hate me for saying this, but upon initial viewing of I thought this surpassed Zootopia for anthro movie of the year. Yes, I know the plot is partially derivative of the same story in Finding Nemo, but darn it I loved it much more than I thought I was going to. It has since fallen somewhat with repeated viewings, but still a good movie, IMO.

8. La La Land
I know there's a backlash on this film for its the critical praise and Oscar attention (which it memorably lost to the well-deserving Moonlight on awards night), but it had a charm I couldn't resist despite some of its shortcomings (like forgetting it was a musical half-way into the movie!)

7. Don't Think Twice
Nice light comedy about friends in a improv group, and what happens when that friendship dynamic is upended when one is suddenly propelled into fame.

6. The Dressmaker
Quirky little indie comedy/drama from Australia (starring Brit actress Kate Winslet). Imagine placing a vengeful fashion designer in the environment of a "Spaghetti-Western". Sounds weird, but..

5. The Lobster
..is weirder still! This sci-fi movie should be of some interests to furries, as it asks the questions of our human protagonists: "What animal would you like to be turned in to?" The plot explores the chasm between single people and paired couples in the most hilariously deadpan way. Fans of Wes Anderson movies might like this one.

4. Sing Street
Infectious rock-musical of a teen in 1980's Dublin connecting with the new-wave music of the era as a means of forming a band to win the affections of the girl he loves. Sounds hokey, but I left that movie with a big smile on my heart.

3. 10 Cloverfield Lane
Much like Green Room this movie is tension-ripe with three individuals confined to a limited location, in this case an underground bunker. It doesn't help that one of these individuals is a conspiracy theorist (performed wonderfully by John Goodman) who might have a few screws loose. Even if you can guess where the story is headed the journey getting there is the nail-biting fun.

2. The Handmaiden
Korean/Japanese film about con artists taking advantage of a lone wealthy woman, but one of the artists unexpectedly falls for her, putting the entire plan into jeopardy. The film's structure essentially tells the same story twice, but from different character perspectives that reveal fascinating new plot twists in the process.

1. Zootopia
Is this really my #1 of 2016? Maybe, maybe not, but for the big screen, furry spectacle that it was its difficult for me to place it anywhere else. Nick and Judy had one of the best on screen chemistries of any duo this year, animated or not. Of course the movie wouldn't be memorable as it was if not for a script that, even without considering its timely race-relation commentary, makes for a simply good crime caper.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Deadpool
The Eagle Huntress
Star Trek Beyond
Anomalisa
Moonlight

GUILTY PLEASURES:
The Angry Birds Movie
Storks
(I know, I can't help it! I love my birdies, what do you expect?)

Your rating: None

Uh, Don't Think Twice is one I'm really conflicted on whether I even want to see it. I love Mike Birbiglia's stand up, but ... improv. Not a fan of improv comedy, and don't know if I'm going to be able to watch a whole movie about it.

So, I haven't seen it yet, but it's like I'm paralyzed about it.

Your rating: None

There are only a few key scenes of the characters performing their craft onstage. It's not a concert film, with most of the story happening off-stage. Part of what makes these characters amusing is that even when not in front of an audience they can't stop themselves from performing, even in some uncomfortably serious moments.

I wasn't familiar with Birbiglia's stand up prior to this film (nor have I seen his first movie Sleepwalk With Me) so this was a nice discovery for me.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (3 votes)

I loved Green Room because it showed the hypocrisy of these ignorant punks as they proclaimed their moral superiority while at the same time supporting a literal Nazi institution. No one was a straight good guy, and even the bad guys were a lot more developed than your typical Hollywood racists.

Deadpool was alright but I felt like it was missing a second act for some reason. Like it had a really long first act and a short finale.

But Suicide Squad? Really? I respect your opinion but I still felt like I was watching vomit. Then again maybe that's because I hate Harley Quinn to begin with.

PS Thanks for not being a pretentious twat and including Moonlight for the sake of it.

Your rating: None

Harley Quinn is the reason you hated Suicide Squad? She and Deadshot were the only two redeeming factors in the whole film.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

I would agree if you mean the actors who played them.

Your rating: None

Hadn't seen it yet, but yeah, probably actually not in my top ten, though definitely the strongest Best Picture nominee in the admittedly worst year since I've tracked down every nominee and watched them.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

My Top Ten Movies of the 2010s so far:

1.) Drive
2.) Whiplash
3.) I Saw The Devil
4.) Gone Girl
5.) 127 Hours
6.) Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2
7.) Wreck-It Ralph
8.) Guardians of The Galaxy
9.) Nightcrawler
10.) Zootopia

I was going to put The Human Centipede on here, but I realized that as much as I enjoyed that one it's more of a guilty pleasure. Plus it came out in 09.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Well, of course you wouldn't like Mad Max: Fury Road, but sure, let's do this, top 10 of the decade so far:

10.Godzilla
9.Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
8.The Grey
7.How to Train Your Dragon
6.Rango
5.Get Out
4.Guardians of the Galaxy
3.Gravity
2.Mad Max: Fury Road
1.Zootopia

Pro-tip: It's called a countdown; nobody gives a shit about your number 10 when they already know number 1.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

I actually have not gotten around to watching Mad Max, despite having tried. But if this review is accurate, it doesn't look like something I'll particularly enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyzNP8IUs2g

You liked Get Out more than any other horror film of the decade? I mean, it is well directed and subtle, but the message is SJW garbage. I hate white liberals just a lot of other people do but I don't hate them for microaggressions or cultural appropriation. Not only that but I felt like their portrayal in the film was like that of how a republican would view a "Beta cuck".

Your rating: None

I'm still not entirely convinced you're not a parody account. Fucking Human Centipede are you fucking kidding me.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (1 vote)

As I said, guilty pleasure. Not a great movie but still a great way to kill time.

People like knocking torture porn but I actually enjoy it.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (2 votes)

quit posting here about what gives you a boner or so help me

Your rating: None

Yeah I didn't reply because I wasn't sure if he meant "torture porn" the way movies like Saw and Hostel are sometimes dubbed torture porn or if he meant he literally gets off on torture in which case... Well, Human Centipede, some of the torture/snuff shit furries draw and write, kind of a tossup which is worse isn't it.

Your rating: None Average: 2.3 (3 votes)

I meant films that are dubbed 'torture porn'. It's not like this is my fetish.

And it is because of the saccharine worldview that you people hold that I have so many women begging at my feet for love. I'm a pure blooded alpha and you're all cave dwelling betas. I've had it with people like you telling me that I did not understand the point of Zootopia. Judy would fall for me in an instant, son! And you only have yourself to blame!

Your rating: None

Islamic Content:

You're a furry who openly admits to finding a CG rabbit who is like a 2, almost a 1 on the animal to human scale of anthros sexually attractive. By default the only people who would want to bang you are already in prison.

Your rating: None Average: 2.4 (5 votes)

No, Dawn Bellwether. That's where you are wrong. I only date heroes.

Plenty of people share my exact sentiment about Judy and would not only fight but die to bed her. And I doubt they're in prison either. Just look her up on any furry website and you'll see what I mean.

You know who else would find me irresistible? Maid Marian. I could be her Robin Hood any day.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

Dude, you just managed to make vanilla furry fetishism creepy.

On a furry site.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

"Plenty of people share my exact sentiment about Judy and would not only fight but die to bed her. And I doubt they're in prison either. Just look her up on any furry website and you'll see what I mean."

Yes, but they're like the people who find Ann Coulter attractive - losers :3

"You know who else would find me irresistible? Maid Marian. I could be her Robin Hood any day."

Yeah but she was also got pretty party van with Skippy under that tree so it's questionable how much of a catch she could be.

Truth be told no one gives a flying fuck about the bedtime stories you tell yourself before you fap yourself to sleep. This isn't the comments section of some shitty furry AMV on YouTube. This isn't even r/furry.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

Well, first of all, the reason people keep telling you you didn't understand the point of Zootopia is because you didn't understand the point of Zootopia just, so much, it's kind of hilarious.

I think the best part of Mad Max: Fury Road (besides the entire movie, I mean) is when it won the NBR gave it their Best Picture award and Variety and The Hollywood Reporter's quick pieces were full to bursting with your type of people complaining about how it was such a SJW movie that was only being liked by "cucks" or whatever because of it's message, and then the very next week, fucking Carol won the Best Picture prize from the even more prestigious LAFCA group (and to be clear, Carol is literally about a lesbian's struggle to be taken seriously; it's entire fucking point is pro-feminism) and nobody cared. And then, when I pointed out that all those commenters were angry here, I got douchebag comments saying that there were no angry men whining about Mad Max: Fury Road, that was the media making up a story, and I was like, dipshit, I just got back from the comments on Variety, and then he proceeded to get fucking very angry about Mad Max: Fury Road while loudly exclaiming nobody was mad about Mad Max: Fury Road.

But, it is actually a feminist movie; the giveaway is that the pregnant lady gets run over by a car.

Judy would fall for me in an instant, son!

You strike me as a very lonely individual.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (3 votes)

No......No...No...No...NO! YOU'RE WRONG!!!

No, Mad Max is not being revolutionary by having a feminist message. Plenty of movies have tried and done the same. Action movies are supposed to be like Drive. Gritty, realistic and a little bit serious. Not self aware for the sake of it with a side order of politics.

No, it's not Mad Max without Mel Gibson. Passion of the Christ > Feels Road.

No, I do not care for fat ugly models or self righteous lesbians over who should have been the real main characters of Fury Road, that being the STARVING PEOPLE.

YES, both you and me know that your ideal furry dream babe would prefer me over you because you're a politically correct cuck. But you can still change that. You can still be strong man of principle like myself but you need to drop the slave morality or else you'll never get lucky.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

You know "ideal furry dream babes" don't exist, right? Have you ever fucked anything that actually existed?

But, anyway, I thought we were talking about movies; if you insist on keeping talking about things your penis could theoretically be doing (if, you know, you'd log off an article by a kid's cartoon reviewer and allow said penis to do them) I'm going to get bored, because I really honestly don't give a fuck.

Anywho, Mad Max wasn't "self aware", at least not in the wink at the camera style I guess you're referring to. It was plenty gritty and serious (did you miss the part where I said a pregnant lady is run over by a CAR?); perhaps not very realistic, but I don't find "reality" and "post-apocalyptic adventure movies" often having much to do with each other.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

Just accentuating my point. Don't bring up penises, this is a family friendly discussion.

Mad Max was self aware not in an obvious post modern sort of way but in a more subtle variation. It understood that it was a blockbuster and didn't try to be more than that. Having just seen it today, I can see why people like it but I still think it's a disappointing send up to a great series.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (3 votes)

And, yet, you hate its politics.

It can't be SJW political correct cuckoldry propaganda and not trying to be more than what it was.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (2 votes)

Having an SJW message is not that amibtious seeing as Disney, Marvel and the rest of Hollywood have been doing it for some time now.

Your rating: None Average: 3.5 (2 votes)

And I'm trying to get you to see you hate a good movie because of your warped worldview, not because of any flaws of the movie. That's the problem with hating things, kid. Cuts down on the fun in life.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (1 vote)

Well, I will give you this, a stupid message most certainly does not help a film regardless of it's quality.

But I disagree. The film is flawed regardless of it's message, and is actually made worse in regards to the story because of it.

Plenty of people hate Passion of The Christ for it's message. Not because it's a bad movie, which it isn't.

And no, I didn't misunderstand Zootopia. When I see white genocide in South Africa and today's youth tearing down statues of Christopher Columbus, the message only becomes more relevant. The situation we saw in Charlottesville reminded me of Bellwether trying to make all the predators look like savages with how the liberal media portrayed it.

I understand that it was a metaphor for prejudice in general but it's only relevant now because of how it reflects the current anti-white sentiment circulating. Especially with inbred rapefugees destroying Europe and nobody caring.

Your rating: None

Plenty of people like Passion Of Tha Christ for the same reason you won't admit you like Human Centipede. Your argument is invalid.

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

I think you're missing a crucial part of his argument. Basically he's trying to argue that, even in your deepest fantasies, whatever your ideal fap material is, she (he's assuming it's a she) would drop you like a hot potato and totally jump his bones when he slides into the frame from off-camera and inserts himself into your headspace Freddy Kreuger style (a technique shared by creepy pedos with fedoras it seems).

This doesn't work on me because my fantasies are so batshit insane most mortals can't even comprehend them. As for other furries, I don't know what you believe, but whatever it is, rest easy knowing that by Ike's logic, it means there's a swarm of fictional anthros with huge muscles and massive, throbbing cocks...

... And all of them are fucking his ass, mouth, and ears. Assuming his fursona has ears.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (2 votes)

I'm sorry, I'm still kind of in shock that his actual argument is "I am very good at fucking imaginary women." I mean, I'm sure he is, but that's his actual argument.

Your rating: None

I dunno, when you put it like that, I guess I could see myself being kinda jealous because half the problem I have trying to fap is my mind wandering to shit that has nothing to do with anything sexy. Like this entire thread.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (2 votes)

Why are you trying to jack off to this thread?

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Well how can one not I mean it's full of ideal furry dream babes and this big manly dragon lol

Your rating: None Average: 2 (1 vote)

I don't want to hear about your boner either, Mr. Bone

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

Fury Road was a pointless noodling exercise, Drive was a shiny facade promising a good movie with nothing inside. Both of you have bad taste and will never get laid and deserve each other.

Your rating: None

You have to post your own favorite action movie about driving cars, that's the fucking rules!

Your rating: None

This https://youtu.be/99vkqb5na5Y

Your rating: None

Wow, that's personally a major coincidence. Two random recommendations for a, not exactly obscure, but not exactly obvious, neo-noir from 1967. So, I think the universe needs me to watch this movie for some reason.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

I think many furries didn't learn all that much from Zootopia.

"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~

Your rating: None

I'm a pure blooded alpha

I am sorry. So, So sorry.

(okay I'm really not)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ti86veZBjU

Your rating: None

It's that cringe again. What about it? Everybody already knows he's wrong.

Your rating: None

No, dear, he is definitely right.

But if you think he's wrong, please by all means cite your sources like he does.

Your rating: None

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YsLl5Wb_7g

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Has anyone seen the one movie that I worked on (sort of)? It was “Drive” in 1997. (We worked on it in 1996-’97; it was released in 1998.) Streamline Pictures, where I worked at the time, got the second-unit job of constructing the model of the Desert Cradle Inn motel that gets blown to smithereens. We spent months building the model in our Santa Monica warehouse, to take it out to where “Drive” was being filmed in the desert, to be blown up in a moment. Streamline Pictures got a Second Unit Photography – Miniature Photography credit at the tail end of the closing credits.

“Drive” got a 69% on Rotten Tomatoes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88gpAsm6iOw

https://cinapse.co/drive-1997-the-most-underappreciated-action-flick-you-need-to...

http://www.beyondhollywood.com/drive-directors-cut-1997-movie-review/

Fred Patten

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I haven't but that's still pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

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"Judy would fall for me in an instant."

You people are welcome to a smug, self-righteous, Mary-Sue asshole like Hopps.

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Mary Sue just means "female protagonist" anymore and here's some evidence of that lol. Hey do you think that Rey from the new Star Wars movies is a Mary Sue too?

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Rey is a total Mary Sue. Textbook definition down to knowing more about the Millennium Falcon than Han Solo. Not only that but even after an entire film she's not introduced as having any notable flaws.

Kylo Ren would've made a better protagonist. Not because he's extremely likeable but because, as pointed out by Robert McKee in his book "Story: Style, Structure, Substance, and the Principles of Screenwriting", the principle antagonist should never outshine the protagonist in multidimensionality as to retain the audience's engagement.

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Oh wow you have heard of robert mckee

Did you ever hear of this guy joseph campbell? I hear it's totally a secret weapon for writers

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The fact that Robert McKee is such a common household name even among non-screenwriters as myself adds to my point more than anything else.

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There's this restaurant called mcdonalds, you should totally check it out some time or even take a date there if you're going in for the kill, wink wink nudge nudge say no more

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It's true, McD's is a great place to take Judy Hopps and Maid Marian.

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You mean the same Han Solo that needed Threepio to tell him he'd need to replace the power coupling on his negative axis, and the same Han Solo who hadn't seen the ship in decades? Seems to me like it makes complete sense that someone whose very survival depends on knowing ship layouts and parts, and who'd obviously seen the Falcon recently enough to know that it's "junk" offhand would know more about it than the Nerfherder Supreme. Being capable and interesting doesn't make a character a "Mary Sue", especially not when the Force specifically exists to make characters capable and interesting as shorthand.

Frankly we've seen just as much character from Kylo as Rey. They make decent foils for each other.

You know Star Wars is a franchise for like, ten year olds, right? It shouldn't be this hard for you to grasp.

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"Rey isn't a Mary Sue. She's a Mary Sue who has plot convenience and a an audience of ten year olds to justify it!"

First off, you have yet to describe one character flaw Rey has. No, having a dark side moment where she emotionally manipulates the bad guy doesn't really count. I'm talking an actual, pre-existing character flaw that presents her with issues throughout the course of her journey. Kind of like what you just described Han Solo as having.

Also it hasn't been indicated that she's ever actually piloted a ship before. I can have all the needed information to get my driver's license but if I've never actually had hands on experience with one don't expect me to be perfect in my first ride.

No, someone who is familiar with the building of ships would not necessarily know more about a given ship than the person who's been piloting it for decades simply because he hasn't ridden it in quite a while. One would assume that this would not be his first rodeo and that he would still be able to retain basic knowledge on how to fly/repair it when needed. As if the Millennium Falcon is the only ship he's ever piloted.

And I'm pretty sure that having emotional issues combined with a lack of empathy and an inferiority complex is having more character than being an expert on ship parts and headstrong.

Plus if the audience is a bunch of twelve year olds then why are you defending her by saying she isn't one? By your argument's logic, it shouldn't matter. I mean, since when do protagonists in movies made for children have any imperfections? They always start out and end the exact same.

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I'm not gonna, like, make a grocery list of flaws because it doesn't matter. She's a vulnerable character carrying as much emotional baggage about her family and her place in the galaxy as Kylo. Just...you know...she's not stuck in her emo phase.

If you were smarter I would suggest you rewatch the film and take notes on how Kylo and Rey are the same character but I guess I'm talking to the guy who came here thinking he could blither on about "dindus" and not sound like the toddler pleased as pie that he just shit his pants for his mom to clean up.

And I mean, goash, where have we seen characters excel at difficult technical tasks they've never done before? I'm plain stumped.

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You can't make a grocery list of them because she doesn't have one to begin with. Your analysis is more like an anal cyst. Being "vulnerable" and being isolated from your family do not a three dimensional character make. With Kylo, these things actually mean something because, as you said, he's "emo". These things actually affect him.

And yeah, lead characters have made huge technical leaps before. But you know what the difference is? With both of those examples you've given we learn that said characters have background training in those fields. Whether it be training in the force or specifically referenced that has background experience piloting ships, said actions are foreshadowed. It follows a logical conclusion set up earlier in the movie.

I also don't back down on my point about dindus, as my point is that even with furry movies like Zootopia I understand the messages better because I can very clearly see that Judy would not back thugs like Michael Brown and that I would have a better chance of a relationship with her than people such as you.

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Hbduh, ULTIMATE PROOF LIST THAT KYLO IS COOL AND REY DROOLS:

* wears a cool mask
* kills his dad (cool)
* attacks some ashes (ultimate MANLY emotional depth)
* woahh cool lightsaver
* the epitome of sexey manly dude
* has three dimensions (sometimes mad, sometimes not - super complex)

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The fact that he's both competent and emotionally explosive with his wardrobe reflecting his personality as well speaks volumes about why he's a better character than Rey. And yeah killing your dad who's considered to be one of the most beloved characters in the franchise is a more defining choice made than anything MaRey Sue did.

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God you're a fucking philistine

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Says the full grown man who's defending a bland not-even-that-hot chick from a movie for ten year olds simply because he wants to take her virginity.

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When your love life consists of cartoon animals, don't embarass yourself by acting superior to people who have a thing for live movie characters.

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>Implying that this is a battle of who has the better fetish.

No, rat boy. That's another failed shot. The difference between me and this person is that I don't act like the characters I identify with are well made simply because I like them. You could also say that Maid Marian is a Mary Sue but the difference is she's not a main character so that's a little more excusable.

I'd expect your arguments to be a little less petty, but then again this is someone who openly sympathizes with literal vermin.

It's like that time it was proven that Beast from Beauty and The Beast was an alpha. Nobody had a counter argument, so they just used the most minuscule things to try tearing them down, only to make them stronger. https://twitter.com/dwdavison9318/status/863208286069415937

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what the fuck

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I know right? It's like that time people got angry at him for comparing British Muslims with the deatheaters from Harry Potter. They just can't handle his arguments.

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Found it: https://twitter.com/kerplunktehmunk/status/864354039273672706

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Alphas don't exist dear.

if you wish to see what you and your nonexistent man are, I'd suggest looking at Gaston (cause no one alphas like Gaston) not the Beast.

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You obviously did not watch the same movie as I did. He's called BEAST for a reason. Gaston may have had alpha qualities but he still avoided confrontation like when he tried having Belle's father put in the insane asylum.

Beast is an actual full-blooded alpha like me because he's not afraid to defend himself and his group when needed and is straightforward about what he's thinking, not feeling the need to constantly adulate himself. You know, actual confidence.

If I had to describe myself with three fictional characters, they'd be Beast, Judy Hopps and Finn from Adventure Time.

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He's called a beast because he's a mismatch of various animals.

if anything he's a tsundere, not an alpha.

Gaston is the "yo bro you lift" alpha, which is fitting since alphas in general are non-existence.

actual full-blooded alpha like me

alphas do not exist, so you're saying you're fictional.

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If anything Belle is a tsundere. The movie makes a point of this through showing her interactions with Gaston. She starts out snobbish and cold toward romance but ends up being warmer and more open through Beast.

Beast is an alpha because he takes risks, has a "take what I want" attitude and isn't afraid of being potentially embarrassed. He's direct and brutally honest, a capable leader.

So by you saying that men with these qualities can't exist, well, that says a whole lot about you, doesn't it?

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If anything Belle is a tsundere

you're right. we didn't watch the same movie. Happy go lucky, nose in book Belle is a tsundere?

are you you didn't eat too many paint chips as a child?

a capable leader.

capable enough to get his entire castle cursed.

So by you saying that men with these qualities can't exist, well, that says a whole lot about you, doesn't it?

yes, it says that I have common sense and knowledge.

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She very clearly was not ready for a man in the beginning. That was, until, she met The Beast.

I'm just saying that if there was a character in the story who fit the archetype you laid out, it would be Belle, because she fulfills the same function and has some of the same qualities.

And if you think that all men are emotional, afraid of conflict and terrible leaders, again, that says more about your view of men than it says of mine.

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Also the only reason they were turned into objects was because Beast did the logical thing by not letting the creepy old woman hermit into the house so that she could murder him/do worse.

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You're just a terrible person.

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You're a terrible person for being concerned about a child's safety.

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You're the only one who comes to a news and reviews site to talk about your weird boner.

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You're the one who talked about how Maid Marian and Judy Hopps would fall for you in a heartbeat. What age group were those movies aimed at? 10 years old or less.

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I'm just saying that since he used that defense by his logic it's that much more pathetic.

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A Mary Sue wouldn't have bombed a press conference so hard that it literally gave the antagonist everything they ever wanted.

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Pivotal point of the movie was literally that the idea Judy was pure of heart and could do no wrong existed only in her own mind, but smh it just seems like this character is too pure of heart and can do no harm :(

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Geez, I came back to check on this thread... and good god! Some people are giving out TMI!

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a red fox

New teeth. That's weird.