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Dear Papabear, 

I just want to say in advance thank you for taking the time to read this. And now on to the question! 

I've been having a very emotional time in my dating life right now: my feelings for an ex coming back, new people all in my life. And I have a hard time saying “No” to people; and what it has resulted in is my being in 2 relationships and my ex being with someone else I was almost with. So I feel like my whole world has been shoved in my face all of a sudden. My question is: how do I magically fix all of this? Well, really my question is: how do I go about fixing my issue?

The two I'm with right now trust me to the ends of the earth, and one of them is underage. And I don't really want that. The other has been hitting rock bottom to being homeless, and I don't want to just leave her when she is at an almost all-time low. As for my ex, he isn't having a very good relationship with this other person; he has been talking to me, asking for help about what to do, which has been a little awkward for me, but I want him to be happy. I care about him very much and I trust him over anyone else in this world.

I feel like I've made a lot of mistakes in the past few months and I feel trapped, like I have nowhere to go. I want to be with my ex, but I don't want to hurt everyone. So, I'll restate my question, since I've talked a good bit more. How do you think I should tackle my problem? I realized I might not be able to be with my ex, but I don't want to keep feeling trapped like this. Please help me.

Thank you,
Snow

* * *

Dear Snow,

Reading your letter—and correct me if I am wrong—it sounds as if you are not hugely in love with either the underage person or the one who has hit rock bottom, but, rather, you want to get back with your ex, who seems to want to get away from the person he’s with at the moment.

First what you do is you state, in your heart, what you really want. My assumption in this letter will be that you want to get back with your ex and break it off with the other two and that your ex wants to leave his current partner (at least, romantically).

Breaking up with someone is never easy, but if you don’t truly love them then you are doing them a disservice by pretending to love them. If I were you, I would first break up with the underage person, telling them that they are underage and you aren’t comfortable with that, and also that you want to be with someone your own age. As for the other person, there is no reason you can’t be there for them and be supportive as a friend; you don’t have to be a lover to do that.

You are a lot like Papabear in this way: you are a people pleaser and worry that other people are happy to the point of not worrying about your own happiness. This is something you and I need to work on. Intellectually, I know that my happiness is also important, but I am so empathically attuned to others that I feel their pain when they are not happy. Perhaps you feel this way, too, but we both need to learn that we can be kind to others without sacrificing our own happiness.

After you talk to the other two, you should then talk to your ex. Ask him if, perhaps, the two of you might have made a mistake and if he might want to get back together. You know, just because you broke up doesn’t mean it has to be permanent. People make mistakes sometimes, but if the opportunity is there, you might be able to fix them.

Feeling “trapped” clearly indicates you are not happy with how things are going. Yes, it can be scary, and sometimes very sad, to break up with someone, but sometimes it is for the best for all parties concerned. With luck, it will lead to your being with the right person at last.

Wishing You Love,

Papabear

Hey guys just wanted to drop a line and introduce myself a bit more as I have had more time to come into this Hobby fully.

I’m Kalibane (Kali to friends), the Silver Tiger. so I have been a lurker for many years, but decided it was time to say heck with it and jump in the community head first. I was introduced to the furry fandom and hobby many years ago in the army with some older drawings that I immediately fell in love with. And then again in a text based RPG site (Illusionary minds Chat) and it has always been something that I feel akin to. I have not been very open about it due to my family and how they perceive the lifestyle due to negative publicity. But, now I am older (38- yes I’m that old) and I don’t feel like hiding things anymore, don’t care what others think of me it’s my life and hobby.

One of the things that I enjoy the most is the art and the understanding that everyone likes something different and that is accepted and welcomed. So I just wanted to introduce myself and I hope to make many friends who I can talk to and learn more.

Let’s see other facts…I’ve been a Chef, self-taught Welder, Ex-Military, and now an IT professional. Love cooking, watching movies, Reading Fantasy novels. I’m a crappy artist, even worse guitar player :p, Love video games. Mel Brooks’s movies, and Learning new things.

I’m pretty Open/Pan if you will and confident in life now. I do have a kik account and if you search the r/furrykikpals subreddit you’ll see me there (….username Kalibane) if you wanna chat, PM me or kik. I love meeting new people and talking about all sorts of things. So far haven’t been shocked yet, and don’t mind mature topics either.

waves pay Nice to meet you all.

submitted by Beaker1976
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I don't know whether or not I'd be considered a furry, but I do enjoy furry artwork. I'm not into role playing, fursuits, or any sexual fetishes. I do like fat furs, not to be confused with inflation, which I do not like. I love large breasts too and female Pokemon anthro art. I'm also not an artist, which is too bad because I'd love to draw my OC a friend made me- http://i.imgur.com/jHflpzC.jpg I hope to become more active here on Reddit ;)

submitted by ThePurpleEclipse
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What do we do about this?

submitted by Discord2974
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I have a lot of commissions coming up and I don't feel confident in faces this week, so I'd like to get some practice.

If you commented on my post last time, sorry but I may pass you for other people.

Note: I haven't decided if I'll color these ones.

EDIT: Woah okay so im already way over the number I'm gonna draw. I would love to draw everyone, seriously, but I'm gonna have to call it done here....note to self, do more of these in the future

submitted by Sareii
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submitted by ShaiaTheWolf
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I've been lurking the subreddit for nearly a month but I've been yet to post an introductory post myself so I'll do so now. Hi /r/furry, my name is Harold, 18 years old male. Bisexual and as alone as it can be XD. Also I'd like to take the chance and ask. How do you contribute to the community when I can't draw, or model, or do pretty much anything but play games and occasional writing?

submitted by yoshisman8
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Yeah, It could have ended like this.

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer. Moth and Rust, by Eddie Drueding. White Bear Lake, MN, Melange Books, August 2014, trade paperback $13.95 ([4] + 190 [+ 5] pages). This is Arraborough Book 3, following the 2012 Book 1, The Unimaginable Road and the 2013 Book 2, The Darkness. It will be […]

Just now noticed, I've been lurking and even had the occasional post, yet I've never introduced myself! I feel silly. I'm known as the man of many names, or Ricky. I'm a 20 year old with no fursona. Still deciding on whether I'm a cat, or something more mischievous.

I would love to know the best way a non-artist like myself could add to the community, and also would love to learn how to roleplay like a normal furr, instead of just sex like I have learned.

submitted by demonwalker
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For a first time fursuiter, is is better to get a partial first then later down the road a full suit? Or jump right into the full suit with no experience fursuiting?

submitted by ShadowFur17
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Yeah I guess the title depends on where you are in the world. :P Something that has been on my mind for a while now as I have reached that mid 30 milestone… and after being in the fandom for so long, I guess I am officially a G’Muz! Then I got thinking is it time to settle down a little? Hates too but I’m starting to feel a little old in the fandom now, maybe it's just me? :-/ What are other G’Muz thoughts on this subject and are you quieter now than before? Do you hang out somewhere else? Also a question to the younger pups, how do you really feel when integrating with a G’Muz? I’m just getting some opinions and thanks.

submitted by oldfur
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submitted by Dandalily
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thanks to the community and how accepting and nice everyone one is I've actually felt happy and have been generally nicer to people and people have been nicer to me, basicly its because of some pawsome people I met here where very encouraging they even gave me the strength to come out to my parents and to finally be me I've even got a boyfriend now and we are like Adam and Steve together. What I'm trying to say is that the furry community has the best people around, thanks so much you furs keep being awsome

submitted by StarScale1928
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submitted by mudkipclove
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Hi! My name is Jake, and i am a furry. I have been a closet furry for close to a year and i have decided to come out. I am a heterosexual 17 year old, and was afraid to come out because i was afraid people would think i was gay. I was just posting here because i wanted to meet maybe a nice fox girl, or someone like that. My fursona is a fox, but i can't draw to save my life, and i dont even know the first thing about fursuits. :S a bit confused about this whole thing, and i guess im just looking for some furriends. :D will, if you want to help me, contact me via PM. Thanks!

submitted by iizepic128
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Title.

I wanna hear why you guys think so :3

submitted by QwertyClone
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submitted by Small-Banana-4-Scale
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submitted by Malicai
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I'd like to see some already done work featuring a couple like that. I figured it would be an easy way to introduce my girlfriend to the fandom. I call her my kitten all the time and she calls me her bunny rabbit so it would just be super perfect, and I'm aweful at google and searching for this stuff.

If this is not the place to ask or not allowed let me know and I will remove.

submitted by bucketsofosterone
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