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Furry Movie Award Watch: June

Edited by aquariusotter as of Sun 1 Sep 2013 - 03:03
Your rating: None Average: 3 (5 votes)

Alright, my first time at bat as an Ursa Major movie pundit worked out, as Kung Fu Panda 2's win put me at three for three predicting the movie awards I set out to predict. Read on for my reaction to the awards and my first guess at next year’s nominees and winner.

crossie’s Current Best Guesses

Oscar for Best Animated Feature Annie for Best Animated Feature Ursa Major for Best Anthropomorphic Motion Picture
Winner Rise of the Guardians Rise of the Guardians Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
Nominees Brave
The Rabbi’s Cat
The Secret World of Arrietty
From Up on Poppy Hill
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
Pirates! A Band of Misfits
The Secret World of Arrietty
Ice Age: Continental Drift
Rise of the Guardians

The Ursa Majors in 2011

Kung Fu Panda 2When I read the winner’s list for this year’s Ursa Majors, my first reaction was one of pure relief. I was really nervous about my final choice for the winner, Kung Fu Panda 2. I stuck to my guns for no other reason that it would look even stupider if Kung Fu Panda 2 ended up winning and I switched at the last minute to something else. Yeah, I had to flip flop in the last month before the Annies came out to get that one right, but you got to know when to hold’em, and when to fold’em. Or something.

In the Oscars and, to a lesser extent, the Annies, I had a thousand and one award pundits backing me up (though I was much more accurate in my nominee guesses than the professionals in this category). In the Ursa Majors, I was all alone, trying to gauge the opinions and tastes of a group of people I oftentimes find baffling, if my constant feuding in Flayrah’s comments are any indication, with only fchan’s /toon/ board and the votes of the eight other guys in Flayrah’s recent poll to guide me.

But, I went with my guts, and essentially nailed it in my review of Kung Fu Panda 2 over a year ago. So, I guess furries are not completely baffling after all. That said, there were a few surprises.

Since this year was the first time we’ve got to see the rankings of the nominees (a move that, on one hand, may be a mistake; on the other, it really helps me out), I learned that Bitter Lake was less of a player than I thought. It was one of the two movies I figured would make me a bad pundit when the envelope was opened. It seems the consensus was the nomination was reward enough; if you want to win the award, you better bring it.

I was less surprised with the rest of the rankings, and Puss in Boots taking second was pretty obvious. It was the other movie that felt safer than my guts in the last months. Never underestimate new hotness.

For the record, Rango still should have won it, but my getting the correct answer makes up for any bitterness, so I'm totally okay with the results. I did not exactly hate Kung Fu Panda 2, after all.

The Ursa Majors in 2012

Madagascar 3Looking ahead, there is already a very strong contender for next year’s winning movie — Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted. I was going to predict it as the winner even before I saw it; now that I have seen and actually even liked it, I am doubly sure. Furries seem to like DreamWorks Animation; they have won the last two years running, so it is the safe bet right now.

The other DreamWorks Animation movie, Rise of the Guardians looks good, and since Brave just got average reviews rather than good, it seems like the movie to beat at the Oscars and Annies. As far as furries, however, it only features Hugh Jackman as the superhero Easter Bunny. Wait. Did I say only? Aussie X-Rabbit is enough to put this thing in second going in.

In third is the aforementioned Brave, which is a movie about a princess who turns her mother into a bear for some reason. That’s not a spoiler. That’s the movie’s plot. Pixar for some reason decided not to mention that in its advertising, but whatever. Pixar can usually make it to the nominee list, but usually does not win unless it specifically features fully anthropomorphic animals in the lead role; queen bear is only supporting, and mute.

In fourth is the upcoming Ice Age: Continental Drift, a movie I personally am not very excited about. Of course, I was not very excited about Madagascar 3, so I will endeavor to keep an open mind. However, unlike the movies in the Madagascar series, which have always been nominated, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs was a no-show at the Ursas, so it is the less furry loved series of the two.

My final pick is Ted; at least one movie nomination seems required to be live action every year, and can even win. However, Ted is another movie I am going to have to endeavor to keep an open mind about. There'll be be a lot of open-minded-endeavoring on my part this year, it seems.

Oscars and Annies

Brave putting up only average numbers on review aggregators has it barely leading the original Cars for third worst reviewed Pixar movie. It is not a critical flop like Cars 2, so you cannot count it out at the Oscars. However, at this point, it is not a slam dunk to win; the heir apparent this year is Rise of the Guardians. DreamWorks Animation seems to be just about due for a win.

It seems GKIDS, the distributor of foreign animated fair that managed to get not one but two movies on the final ballot of the Oscars last year has a regular slew of movies ready to go this year; it looks like they are going to singlehandedly make it a five nominee year again. For that, I am moving The Rabbi’s Cat into the Oscar nominees and trading it and From Up on Poppy Hill (which I know nothing about other than that Kris Tapley likes it; he seems to be about the only pundit who actually likes animated movies) into the Annies for Hotel Transylvania and Ice Age 4.


Your rating: None Average: 5 (6 votes)

"Experts" (l.o.l) at TMZ have announced Ted as our "so-called" sex symbol... oh please... I can list thousands of funny animals that are sexier then that stuffed bear.

Of course they in the same sentence stated that furries and plushies are synonyms... like I said "experts".

Your rating: None Average: 2.2 (5 votes)

I don't think I can list thousands, but I can list quite a few that are a thousand times sexier, anyway.

Your rating: None Average: 2 (5 votes)


Well, since The Artist finally was rentable last Tuesday (The Weinstein Company really milked that win for as much box office as possible, which still wasn't much), I have finally seen all nine nominees for Best Picture from last year.

In general, totally disappointing after the year before's ten; I genuinely liked three a lot (The King's Speech, Toy Story 3 and True Grit), and enjoyed watching the rest, and only disliked two (one, admittedly, because it wasn't exactly trying to be likable). I only genuinely liked two this year and disliked none, which would seem to be an improvement with less disliking, but actually isn't, because at least The Kids Are Alright and The Social Network made me feel something. In alphabetical order:

The Artist
The winner, in case you missed it, and a very odd winner at that. It really is not Oscar bait; in its own way, it is an "out there" choice for the Academy as The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King or Silence of the Lambs. In case you are unaware it is completely black and white and "mostly" silent (there is a dream sequence with sound effects and laughter, and the final scene features spoken dialogue), so in this way it is "silent" the way Schindler's List was "black and white." Silent movies have rarely done well at the Oscars, even when silent movies were normal; The Patriot was the last silent movie to be nominated for Best Picture at the second ever presentation (it also has the dubious distinction of being the only "lost" Best Picture nominee). The only other silent Best Picture was the very first, Wings. It is also a rare comedy Best Picture, as well being the first Best Picture mainly about movies themselves.

Okay, enough "look, momma, I doned my research!" trivia. The Artist as a movie is, well, it still feels like a gimmick. A gimmick designed to drive viewers away, at that. I don't mind watching silent movies, but, uh, what was the point? It was kind of funny (I liked the use of sign language at the beginning), it was actually kind of furry (if you can take silence and black and white, watch it for Uggie the dog) and Jean Dujardin was pretty good as the silent movie actor who cannot transition into talkies. Worth watching. Not worth rewatching.

The Descendants
For some reason, this was the movie I wanted to hate early on. I don't remember why now. An early favorite, and George Clooney was an early favorite to win Best Actor. For some reason, people say this is a comedy, but they said that about The Kids Are Alright, too. Maybe that's why I wanted to hate it.

I guess I respect this movie, but will never be my cup of tea. Also, a big clue that I didn't really go for this movie was that I was distracted by major roles being played by that guy who is in every VH1 countdown making random observations despite not actually being an expert on the subject, just a comedian, and the guy who played Shaggy in the live action Scooby Doo movie and was also the killer from Scream. Whoops, spoiler alert.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Fuck this movie. Yes, it actually had some gut-wrenching scenes, but that's because anything involving 9/11 and little autistic kids should be to any one over the age of ten. And yes, Max von Sydow (in an ironically silent role) was actually pretty amazing. But, seriously, this movie made it over something, you know, interesting? See, that's my main complaint. I say fuck this movie, but I can't even bring myself to hate it. Its just boring as well as bad.

Since the movie itself is so boringly, blandly bad, instead of boring you about it more, I'll talk about von Sydow, who would have been the oldest actor to win Best Supporting Actor if he had won. Instead, Christopher Plummer became the the oldest actor to win Best Supporting Actor (and he mentioned in his speech that he was only two years younger than the Oscars themselves). The cool thing is that they both lent their voices last yearto The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim as basically the opposite numbers of conflicting joinable guilds in the main questline.

The Help
During my day job, I work with people who don't usually watch movies about black ladies and their struggles for equality, but apparently one of my co-workers saw this movie, and really enjoyed the bit about the secret ingredient in Best Supporting Actress Octavia Spencer's chocolate pie. So, there is that.

Another movie I respect but don't really care about. Just kind of bland. But, apparently, has its fans.

A kid's fantasy movie that, in a shocking genre twist, turns into Oscar bait about halfway through. Okay, I actually kind of like this one, but it was a bit long, and the beginning had no bearing on the ending. It was pretty decent Oscar bait, actually, but a pretty crappy kid's fantasy movie.

It has been pointed out that it and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close feature incredibly similar plot points, and that it also is a movie about a silent movie maker (who is French, like Dean Dujardin) rediscovering his love of movies, and also features Paris, like another movie we'll be getting to.

Midnight in Paris
I really ended up liking this movie; it's a pretty funny, pretty good little light fantasy time travel comedy, with a nice little lesson to boot. I used "little" and "pretty" twice in that sentence, as well as the word "nice," which makes me sound sarcastic probably, but that's kind of the way you describe Woody Allen movies; it sounds sarcastic, but I'm being serious. Basically, it's The Green Fairy without gay furries, and I'm sure that's only a coincidence.

In an unrelated note, the path this movie took to the Best Picture race seems to be the exact same path Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom may be on. Anderson is kind of the modern Woody Allen. I hope the movies follow a similar path, because I liked Anderson before he made movies about talking foxes. He directed Fantastic Mr. Fox, see.

Yet another "respect, but still don't really care" movie, this time about sports. So, that's about all the time I've got for it.

The Tree of Life
Um, I'll admit, this movie is so beyond me, I don't even know where to begin. However, it did feature random appearances by dinosaurs, which is something I can totally embrace, so there is that.

Also, it sure was pretty as all get out.

War Horse
The only Best Picture nominee to make my top ten list, and I recently rewatched it. Still a good movie about a horse, which is a high recommendation on a furry site. It definitely has its moments.

Definitely would have been my vote.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (5 votes)

Looks like TMZ edited the article so now they refer to only "Plushies", gained some respect for tabloids, which is not an easy thing given my anti-celebrity news bias. Of course that follow up article from the business magazine still floating around but, eh. Don't think anyone is seeing it but furs given the comments.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (5 votes)

Actually, I'm pretty sure they are - I was asked to distinguish the two yesterday by a co-worker.

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About the author

crossaffliction (Brendan Kachel)read storiescontact (login required)

a reporter and Red Fox from Hooker, Oklahoma, interested in movies, horror, stand up comedy

Formerly Wichita's only furry comic.