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Furry sex and relationship advice: Feral Attraction

Your rating: None Average: 4 (4 votes)

Feral Attraction.jpgBefore going offline in March, Pounced.org boasted nearly 20,000 personal ads. That's impressive, but unlikely to make a dent in the amount of fan-on-fan relationships within the furry subculture - an online survey of 800 people in 2013 by the International Anthropomorphic Research Project found that nearly 80% of the respondents in relationships were in a relationship with another furry fan.

Feral Attraction is an advice column and podcast that seeks to address challenges, common and unique, that can arise at the intersection of fandom and dating. For hosts Metriko Oni and Viro the Science Collie, that means special focus on non-traditional relationship styles like polyamory and power-exchange relationships, with which they say the fandom is "uniquely enriched". This doesn't mean that others are left out, though - they also consider long-distance relationships and those new to relationships to be common in furry. Even those in completely traditional relationships get affirming, practical advice; there is no atmosphere that "traditional" means boring.

Show and Compassionately Tell

Shirking a sense of anonymous neutrality for personal anecdote, humorous asides, and use of neologism, the hosts take obvious cues from Dan Savage of Savage Love. The similarities extend to their sex positive philosophy and occasional raunchiness. As Feral Attraction boasts two regular hosts, they achieve what Savage Love can't: a sense of the pair's real friendship, which feels charming and warm.

The advice itself is insightful, presented as rules of thumb supported by anecdotal or hypothetical parables. They emphasize self-integrity and difficult, compassionate honesty. Often neglected is the philosophy behind the policy. For example, in an episode on Nonviolent Communication, they discuss the techniques people can employ in their lives, but never mention that the idea behind nonviolent communication is that all human conflict comes from conflicting strategies for meeting universal human needs, or that those needs themselves never conflict. Explained through examples, however, the advice is always easy to understand.

Empathy, the bedrock of any healthy relationship, is found where compassion and understanding meet, and Feral Attraction brings listeners to that point in an easy-listening format.

Comments

Your rating: None Average: 3.3 (3 votes)

I've been following the podcast since near its inception, and I have found it rich with great advice and perspectives that could benefit anyone (Furry or not).

As an update to the article: The podcast is currently on hiatus following Viro's departure as co-host, and Metriko has expressed commitment to resume the show in the (near) future.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

I wondered if it would be a mistake to write the review without being completely caught up on the show...didn't follow either of the two on social media so I wouldn't have seen that otherwise. Damn.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

So this is our Adam's rib article?

"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

Much respect for Metriko and his work, he's always got something smart to say. And Dan Savage has a decent Wikifur page. http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Dan_Savage - is him tweeting at furries (Pounced-related) worth adding?

Your rating: None Average: 3 (3 votes)

I have to ask, why the article on Feral Attraction NOW though. I was somewhat of a follower of their work (not entirely a listener but aware of their valuable contribution). I was surprised they stopped uploading podcasts in March. I spoke with a friend of theirs who told me they've broken their triad, or whatever word they use in the polyamory context to refer to an open love relationship. They broke the love relationship between contributors to the podcast. This departure hasn't been clearly outlined in their website. This is the only official comment regarding the issue: https://twitter.com/metrikoni/status/980677546844008449 . InkyCrow says it's Viro who left as co-host but the twitter comment shows otherwise.

So in essence now Feral Attraction is not an active enterprise. It consists of a back catalog. Hopefully someone will continue or branch out the brand if that's what they want to do.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

While our goal here at Flayrah should be to try and cover items in a more timely manner, I think that historically we tend to get to things a bit slower.

And this is fine, and it can be good to review podcast and things even if it is untimely.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

I've belatedly added it to our podcast block, and imported its archive - if they provide new episodes via the same feed, it'll stay visible. I'm open to adding other furry-centric podcasts, but I don't listen to podcasts myself, so you'll have to file it via the contact form!

Your rating: None Average: 5 (3 votes)

Hey there. Viro here; just wanted to clear up a few misunderstandings in the comments.

First of all, Feral Attraction is still very much an active enterprise! Feral Attraction has highly active Telegram communities and an actively maintained Twitter account where we share daily tips as well as links to previous episodes of our podcast and our nearly 60-and-counting advice columns. The most recent advice column was posted just this morning. Although it is true that the podcast is currently taking a season break, I intend to reboot the show with a more dynamic range of contributors and more live content as early as mid to late July.

Secondly, I am not leaving Feral Attraction, and the show's hiatus has nothing to do with a breakup. Metriko and I were never romantically involved. Rather, Metriko chose to leave the show to make time to pursue personal projects, and I simply haven't had time to continue producing episodes while planning a move and completing a professional coaching certification program.

Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed our content for the past few years, and thanks also to anyone who is discovering our content for the first time after hearing about us on Flayrah. We welcome questions for the advice column as well as feedback and general comments via our contact page, available at www.feralattraction.com. If you'd like to get in touch with me directly, feel free to do so at viro@feralattraction.com or t.me/viroscicollie.

Cheers,
Viro the Science Collie
Co-Founder, Feral Attraction

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

My apologies to Viro and the Flayrah readership for my mix-up of identifying the two hosts. I was referencing my own memory of the show from the most recent episode without cross-checking.

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)

Thanks for coming by to clear up some rumors, Viro! Good luck with the certification program.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

I wonder if it helps people that is literally attractive to feral shaped (or close) anthropomorphic characters (e.g. attractive to four legged wolf characters that has human like characteristics?) to find a partner who's willing to date back that has a similar interest and only that?

I can never date a human that looks like a human. Heck, I don't even think I can no matter how attractive a costume looks to me. :/ No that doesn't mean I'll date a mindless non-human animal in the real world. Not exactly my preference I hope. XD "Fictional" would be the only other option...

Diamond_Man.exe - Not real fursona
Science/Knowledge/Sense > Bias or Biased

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

/* Diamond and Rita, sitting in a tree... W-A-P-P-I-N-G */

But sure; at least it's something you'd have in common. A lot of people make do with less.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Wait, who's Rita? Not so sure, but that name seems to be a little familiar to me or maybe I'm not wondering right. And what does your saying of "W-A-P-P-I-N-G" mean? XD

Not exactly sure what you mean on your last paragraph. You mean with that "Rita" thing?

Diamond_Man.exe - Not real fursona
Science/Knowledge/Sense > Bias or Biased

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Yeah I had a feeling after trying to find what the person meant I guess. XD
Still not sure what WAPPING is, is it a type of dance?

Diamond_Man.exe - Not real fursona
Science/Knowledge/Sense > Bias or Biased

Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes)

Yeah, sure, it's a dance, let's go with that.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

"...to find a partner who's willing to date back that has a similar interest"
"I can never date a human that looks like a human."

So you want a podcast to help you find someone to date who has the same interests but they can't look like a human? Seems a bit of an impossible request there.

"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

I mean a human without any attractive costumes to me I guess. Never gonna work. That's probably what I meant. XD
On an extra side, that doesn't mean a costume should be on everywhere I go with such person. That probably wouldn't be good.

Diamond_Man.exe - Not real fursona
Science/Knowledge/Sense > Bias or Biased

Your rating: None Average: 3 (1 vote)

I don't remember seeing any episodes involving that particular problem. There was an episode where they answer a question about "fictiophilia", but it is from the perspective of someone with feelings for a real person that is only interested in a fictional character. In general FE is more tools for building, maintaining, and adapting relationships than giving pointers on where to find certain partners.

The contact page on their website lists multiple ways you can submit your own questions seeking advice, though keep in mind as stated above that Metriko is not involved in the project at this time, so maybe ignore his contact info still listed there.

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Ugh, I hate a lot of "philia" labels (not that I am judging but still). I just describe someone who just wants to date a fictional character. Besides I think "philia" is not about preferring choice due to an situation, but more of a preference just because of an idea. For me if such fantasy creature was real with many of my own fantasies possible, I would probably prefer that instead. XD Fictional relationships I have is the same brain area I think.
Anyway, that's kinda s shame. I think we need to have more options that offer help for those looking for a partner that is interested.

Alright, thanks for the advice. If I do use it, maybe they are helpful with finding anyone who is interested. XD

Diamond_Man.exe - Not real fursona
Science/Knowledge/Sense > Bias or Biased

Your rating: None

Hm, fictiophile might be a label I'd be okay with. In terms of general preference though, not in the sense of it actually being bad for you. Being able to gain emotional fulfillment from things other than obsessing over 3DPD is generally a boon.

Your rating: None

Good to know.

Your rating: None Average: 1 (3 votes)

Polygamy just does not work as well, sorry to inform you.

Well, I'll be...

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

Thank you for the educating experience.

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About the author

Equivamp (Kile Onasi)read storiescontact (login required)

a Zebra Pegasus from Kansas, interested in paleoanthropology, spider man and star wars

Kile "Equivamp" Onasi is the online pseudonym of a WikiFur Colleague, hobby artist, and fursuiter.