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Review: 'Ted 2' will haunt your dreams

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Ted 2This movie gave me a nightmare. I'm not kidding.

I watched it last night, then decided to sleep on it before reviewing it. And I had bad dreams about watching a mostly plotless movie that kept interrupting itself with boring distractions, and it just wasn't funny at all. When I woke up, I didn't realize at first that Ted 2 was the inspiration for this bizarre dream. But, what else could it be? Actually this dream interpretation site I randomly Googled says it could mean I am:

... attempting to protect [my]self from [my] emotions and/or actions. Viewing them on a movie screen projects them onto another person and thus makes those feelings and actions seem more distant. [My] subconscious is trying to protect [me] from experiencing them directly.

Alternatively, it could mean:

To dream that [I am] watching a movie suggests that [I am] watching life pass [me] by. Perhaps [I am] living vicariously through the actions of others. Consider also how the movie parallels to situations in [my] waking life. [I should] observe how the characters relate to [me] and how they may represent an aspect of [my]self.

Well, that is incredibly depressing; I'm just going to continue on with the theory that watching a movie late in the day may cause me to dream about watching movies at night.

The FIRST Foul-Mouthed Teddy?

Word is spreading fast that the creators of the Ursa-Major-nominated film Ted are facing a lawsuit. “The creators of web series about a foul-mouthed teddy bear with a penchant for drinking, smoking and prostitutes have filed a copyright infringement suit against Seth MacFarlane, Universal Pictures and the producers of Ted, the 2012 film about a foul-mouthed teddy bear with a penchant for drinking, smoking and prostitutes. Bengal Mangle Productions claims that Ted ‘is an unlawful copy’ of its own animated teddy, who was featured in two different web series, Charlie The Abusive Teddy and Acting School Academy. The suit, filed today in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, states that those web series aired in 2009 and 2010 on You Tube, FunnyOrDie.com and other streaming websites.” Any merit to this? So far the targets of the lawsuit haven’t responded, but you can visit Charlie’s official web site and check things out for yourself.

image c. 2014 Universal Pictures

image c. 2014 Universal Pictures

Arms to Bear

Would you believe a full-color funny-animal comic book series coming out of St. Petersburg in Russia? Welcome to the new world, friends! It’s Bo: Plushy Gangsta, heading our way this month (translated into English!) from Action Lab Comics’ Danger Zone imprint. “Are the legends of Bo, the teddy bear gangsta, true? You’re about to find out. When Bo’s girls get nabbed by a rival gang boss, the mysterious and fearsome plushy gangsta is forced into action! It’s Scarface meets Ted in this over-the-top video game style urban epic.” Makes sense, since it was created by video game designers Pavel Balabanov and Vasily Terentiev. Head on over to Action Labs’ Bo web site and check out their new trailer for the series. And trust us: This is not for young readers!


image c. 2014 Action Labs Danger Zone

He’s Getting Stuffed Again

Seth MacFarlane and Universal Pictures have announced that the sequel to the wildly popular 2012 movie Ted will be released to theaters on June 26th, 2015. It’s simply called Ted 2. Once again Seth MacFarlane will direct and star as the voice of Ted, the foul-mouthed talking teddy bear, and Mark Wahlberg will reprise his role as Ted’s grown-up childhood human friend. That’s about all we know about it so far — other than the fact that the sequel will also be R-Rated! The original Ted, of course, was nominated for an Ursa Major Award for Best Anthropomorphic Feature.


image c. 2013 Universal Pictures

A Teddy Bear and his Friends

“When Hooligan Bear and his nephew Little Louie return home to the bear factory and find it has been closed, they are faced with a problem. It’s a turning point for the little bears and the beginning of many adventures.” That’s the description of Home, the first book in the new series of Hooligan Bear adventures written by Ian Toynton  and illustrated by Andrea Dietrich. Hooligan bear and his four friends are a set of plushie bears who must learn about the world around them as they work and play in this series for  young readers. This being the modern age, the books are not only available on-line (from Big Tent Books), but Hooligan Bear even has his own Facebook page and his own Twitter feed.


image c. 2013 by Big Tent Books

Review: 'Earthman's Burden', by Poul Anderson and Gordon R. Dickson

Your rating: None Average: 3.5 (2 votes)

Earthman's BurdenHumorous science fiction is all too rare. One of the most successful humorous series is/are the Hoka stories of Poul Anderson & Gordon R. Dickson. They began in the short-lived Other Worlds Science Stories in May 1951, moved to Universe Science Fiction after Other Worlds ceased publication, then to The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction when Universe bit the dust.

By 1957 there were almost enough Hoka stories to fill a book. Anderson & Dickson added one original story and a short “Interlude” after each to tie them together into a novel, and Earthman’s Burden was the result.

The 1950s were the postwar era with the Marshall Plan and the sparklingly new United Nations, when idealistic America was trying to pull the whole world up to Western levels of prosperity and democracy. The Hoka stories carried these ideals into space.

NYC, Gnome Press, July 1957, 185 pages, $3.00 [1970 reprint; 1979 reprint]. Illustrated by Edd Cartier.

Colorful Bears, Coming to Save Your World

In case anyone needs a refresher: The Care Bears were created in 1981 by American Greetings (originally for greeting cards, of course), and eventually starred in their own TV series and animated movies (produced by Nelvana) before they went on to conquer the world of tie-in marketing entirely. Well now the entirety of that original animated series is available in a -DVD box set (!) called Care Bears: The Original Series Collection. “The lovable bears of Care-a-lot, Cheer, Share, Harmony, and all their bear buddies with unique belly badges and a caring mission have been delighting fans for 30 years! Whether it1s learning the value of friendship, helping someone in need, or using their special powers to brighten up the day, the adorable Care Bears are always ready for caring, sharing, and giving goodness!” The set is available now from Miramax/Lionsgate.


image c. 2012 Miramax/Lionsgate

Retrospective: Seymour Eaton's 'The Roosevelt Bears'

Your rating: None Average: 4.8 (5 votes)

The Roosevelt Bears adFrom 1905 for about the next twenty years, Seymour Eaton's anthropomorphic bears were the subject of some of the most popular children’s books in America. Their topical popularity was due to the tie-in between the bears and Teddy Roosevelt during the 1900s when TR was President of the U.S., and the 1910s when there was widespread speculation whether he would try to run for a third term.

But Eaton died in 1916 and Roosevelt died just two months after World War I ended. The publisher tried to keep the series alive with reprints in 1921, but by the Roaring ‘20s American pop culture had moved on, and TR and the Roosevelt Bears became quickly passé.

Game video: 'Naughty Bear' sequel to be released in October

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Naughty Bear was a 2010 video game for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 consoles, in which the player controlled a psychopathic teddy bear named Naughty Bear. Having not been invited to a birthday party, the objective of the game was to have Naughty Bear punish the other teddies on Perfection Island, by going on a killing spree.

Now a sequel, Naughty Bear: Panic in Paradise, is to be released October 10 as a download for the PlayStation Network and Xbox Live Arcade. In Panic in Paradise, the teddy bears have left for Paradise Island, and left Naughty Bear behind. Thus slighted, Naughty Bear again seeks retribution by literally knocking the stuffing out of the other bears.

Paddington Bear film announced

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Paddington BearPaddington Bear, the ursine star of numerous children's books, is set to make the transition to the big screen.

A film of Paddington has been on the drawing board since 2007. Originally, Warner Bros. was to be involved, but, on May 10, it was European production company StudioCanal who announced that they were teaming with Harry Potter producer David Heyman and director Paul King to make the movie. Like The Smurfs, Yogi Bear, and Garfield, the Paddington film will incorporate live-action footage and CGI.

Paddington was created by British author Michael Bond in 1958. The marmalade-eating, dufflecoat-wearing bear was found at Paddington station by the Browns, who took him into their family. Bond's stories chronicled Paddington's subsequent misadventures, and were adapted into a television series by the BBC in 1975.

Teddy with a Dirty Mouth

… and attitude. Look out below world, but Seth MacFarlane — creator of Family Guy — is about to unleash his first feature film on you this July. Simply called Ted, it tells the story of a young man who once wished that his childhood teddy bear would live with him forever… and now, he does, well into our hero’s adulthood, though both of them are obviously having trouble growing up. Interesting thing is, it appears that Ted the talking stuffed bear, his human friend, AND their other friends get along better that you might expect in this sort of a set-up. The R-rated film stars Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, as well as Seth MacFarlane himself — yep, he wrote it, he directed it, and he stars as the voice of Ted, who’s animated in CGI. Cartoon Brew has a link to the film’s first trailer — but take warning, this is very raunchy and very very Not Safe For Work! Don’t say we didn’t tell you. Interestingly, Cartoon Brew also has an

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  • Video: A teddy bear with a potty mouth

    Your rating: None Average: 3 (3 votes)

    Coming in July from Universal: an R-rated comedy about a teddy bear who says s*** and f***. You are supposed to be 17 or older to watch this trailer.

    Seth MacFarlane to voice anthropomorphic womanizing teddy bear

    Your rating: None Average: 4 (2 votes)

    Seth MacFarlane, the man behind hit comedy series Family Guy and American Dad!, is set to direct Ted, a surreal comedy movie about "a man being forced to redefine his friendship with an anthropomorphic teddy bear that comes alive after his childhood wish comes true."

    Ted will star Joel McHale, Mila Kunis, and Mark Wahlberg. McHale will play Rex, a boss who repeatedly hits on his employee (Kunis). She in turn wants to marry her boyfriend (Wahlberg), who first has to deal with the anthropomorphic womanizing teddy bear who is ruining his life. The bear will be voiced by MacFarlane.

    Ted, a Universal Pictures film, is expected to reach cinemas in 2012.