Teach this site about animals
A great way to avoid doing any useful work is the Animal AI site at Irresponsible Cybernetics. Simply fill in a descriptive sentance about your animal (such as "Large spotted cat from South America" or "Long and slinky pet weasel") and tell it if it's guessed correctly or not. It's great fun, and the more people use it the smarter it will get.
If you'd rather teach it to recognise that you don't need naked celebs or debt sollutions, there's Am I Spam or Not? from the same site.