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Culturally F'd enters The Bone Zone

Edited by dronon, GreenReaper as of 10:36
Your rating: None Average: 3.2 (12 votes)

Meet Rattles: Lives in bones, eats bad movies, pukes acid, vulture.The Bone Zone.

Our new Vulturally F'd host Rattles has a unique appetite. He eats terrible movies, looking for that juicy, so-bad-it's-good fermentation of cheesy old cinema. The lair he calls home is the Bone Zone, a hollowed-out corpse of a once mighty beast, nesting in an old video rental store.

With nothing but an old TV to keep him company, he shares his favourite meals with you, and warns you to steer clear of certain buffet items strewn about the floor of his cave. In proper Culturally F'd fashion, all the films Rattles will be reviewing feature anthropomorphic characters at their core. (Show trailer)

It's turkey day up in Canada, so we're celebrating with a veritable feast for the eyes. A triple feature split across two videos. Bird on Bird on Bird on Bird. A turducken of terrible cinema.

Our main course is Thankskilling, followed by Thankskilling 3. Originally a student project, these films are the right kind of cheese to top off your holiday feast. Thankskilling 3, the only sequel in the series, is a huge leap in quality from its student origins. There's a massive cast of puppets and a double serving of Ken Burns-esque montages. Just dumb enough to be fun, and self-aware enough not to spoil the experience. Although on the surface it appears as questionable as a casserole of unknown provenance, once you dig in, it's a surprisingly savory experience.

Finally after dessert, there's still one more for the bone-pile, something fit only for picking your teeth with. Poultrygeist is a Troma production from 2006 that's aged about as well as a Canadian bag of milk left in the sun for 20 years. Perhaps back in the early 2000s its xenophobic hate-for-everyone could pass as palatable for audiences, but to modern tastes it's like chewing tinfoil. Watching this film in 2021 feels like laying a very large egg. It stretches not only your body to its limits, but also your perception of time, in that you realize it hasn't been 4 hours, just 98 minutes.

Ready to get Culturally F'd right in the Bone Zone?

Comments

Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

You could give those movies the bird, but they already have them.

Your rating: None

Educational! And any entity that consumes awful media is providing a heroic service to our world.

StratoKasta

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About the author

Arrkayread storiescontact (login required)

a youtuber and Kingfisher from Toronto, Canada, interested in youtube and theatre

Creator of the award winning series "Culturally F'd" on YouTube and Roku.